# I've never been so insulted in my whole life! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 4, 2000, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-been-so-insulted-in-my-whole-life/44013 "2000-12-04T21:14:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_Who](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c2a13f/32.png) [@The\_Man\_Who](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_Who)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-been-so-insulted-in-my-whole-life/44013/21 "2000-12-05T00:09:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andygirl \* > \*\*Olentzero- > > Your wife likes them? You must be circumsized. > > \*\* May I present the Mountain Dew Slam of the Night. Congratulations andygirl. I actually logged back onto the internet to let you know how hard I laughed at that. And yes, there is but one true Altoid. Cordially, Myron M. Meyer The Man Who “Would you care for a Peppermint?” ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-been-so-insulted-in-my-whole-life/44013/22 "2000-12-05T00:15:48Z")
You’re right, Fretful Porpentine, let me amend my sentence to say “our ex-friend Righteous”. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-been-so-insulted-in-my-whole-life/44013/23 "2000-12-05T00:17:10Z")
Altoids? Never heard of 'em. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-been-so-insulted-in-my-whole-life/44013/24 "2000-12-05T00:26:45Z")
::runs into thread and hugs **andygirl** :: We’ll break you of this habit yet . . . just you wait until the tenth. ::runs out of thread, but not before smacking **Righteous** :: Hey, why not kick a dog while s/he’s down?😇 ---
**Author:** ![Adriatic\_Ionian\_AEgean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Adriatic\_Ionian\_AEgean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Adriatic_Ionian_AEgean)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-been-so-insulted-in-my-whole-life/44013/25 "2000-12-05T00:27:03Z")
Since their message is **The Gift That Keeps On Hurting** , they must see us as masochists, which is true enough, isn’t it? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-been-so-insulted-in-my-whole-life/44013/26 "2000-12-05T00:30:35Z")
Now, now, darling. Some of us are sadists. Punha- what in the world makes you think that I want to give up my habit? It beats smoking. ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-been-so-insulted-in-my-whole-life/44013/27 "2000-12-05T05:05:22Z")
Does anyone else, at this point, want to knock out the three remaining teeth of that damn elf? Arrgh! ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-been-so-insulted-in-my-whole-life/44013/28 "2000-12-05T06:34:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andygirl \* > \*\*Punha- what in the world makes you think that I want to give up my habit? It beats smoking. \*\* True, but both spend money better put to other things. ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-been-so-insulted-in-my-whole-life/44013/29 "2000-12-05T07:07:49Z")
Such as? My student life is as such: My meals are already paid for. The money I spend on laundry is already paid for. I have a nice, inexpensive stereo system, Napster, a zippy cable connection, long distance, a place to sleep, and all the clothes I really need. Office supplies, such as paper and stamps to write to quietgirl… all of these things come from a declining balance account. I can get free porn, free food at least three times a week, access to any magazine and many movies/DVDs I want via the library, and access to any matter of illegal things should I so choose. What is there to spend money on besides altoids? Now, keep in mind that I and my family are working our butts off to pre-pay for this stuff, but hey… \ ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-been-so-insulted-in-my-whole-life/44013/30 "2000-12-05T07:16:41Z")
Dunno… I’m a Starlight Mints man myslef… used to work at a hotel, where I could steal em by the gross… well, that and drambuie (hic)… ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-been-so-insulted-in-my-whole-life/44013/31 "2000-12-05T16:24:20Z")
andygirl, you can breathe now. It looks like the elf has gone. I hope all of you supported our SDMB advertiser by clicking on the link once, and andygirl will doubtless up her habit to two tins a day. Everybody’s happy. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-been-so-insulted-in-my-whole-life/44013/32 "2000-12-05T16:28:56Z")
The elf lives . . . or so it did when I loaded this thread. Maybe it’ll have changed by the time I post this. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-been-so-insulted-in-my-whole-life/44013/33 "2000-12-05T17:26:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andygirl \* > **Your wife likes them? You must be circumsized.** [nitpick] circum **cised** [/nitpick] Hey, what’s this on the back of my head? It’s what’s left of my hair standing straight out from the WHOOSH. Is that “You ought to be circumcised” or “Given the fact that Mrs. O likes Cinnamon Altoids, it is likely that you are circumcised”? Either way I don’t see what my dick has to do with what my wife prefers to put in her mouth. As far as BREATH MINTS are concerned, ya pervs! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-been-so-insulted-in-my-whole-life/44013/34 "2000-12-05T17:30:20Z")
Hey, I like cinnamon ones too! They’re CLEARLY the best. I hate the peppermint ones. Too damn strong. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-been-so-insulted-in-my-whole-life/44013/35 "2000-12-05T17:52:55Z")
**andygirl** : You _can_ beat the Altoids habit. I was a two-pack-a-week guy once. It was in high school. And everybody laughed at me because no one else had heard of Altoids. And I could only get them from one place. But still I’d go there every week, cash in hand, waiting for The Man (aka Mr. Woolworth). Oh that peppermint sensation. It was such a rush. Soon everything else became unimportant. Food. Friends. Family. All in hock to that little rectangular tin with the raised lettering. There was one terrible week when I was out of cash. I tried freebasing peppermint oil but it wasn’t the same. I needed that hit. But then one day I stood up for myself. “Duke,” I said, “you’re leading yourself down the path of destruction! This has to stop and stop now!” It was tough, I’ll tell you. I went cold turkey and it was hell on earth. I didn’t touch anything vaguely minty for weeks. One day at a time, that was all I could do. Then it happened. I was free! A new man. And I was proud of myself. Someday, **andygirl** , this could happen to you. Just think of the benefits. Why, two packs at 79 cents a week–you’d be saving $1.78 a week! Think of what you could buy with that! Someday, you’ll be able to fund a children’s hospital with the money you’ve saved on Altoids. And when those sick children look at you with joy and thankfulness in their hearts, you’ll be able to say to yourself, “It was all because I broke the Altoids habit.” ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Lord\_Davidson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bc8723/32.png) [@Dark\_Lord\_Davidson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Lord_Davidson)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-been-so-insulted-in-my-whole-life/44013/36 "2000-12-05T22:06:39Z")
Cinnamon Altoids are FAR superior to both peppermint and wintergreen varieties. And that, my friends, is all. ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-been-so-insulted-in-my-whole-life/44013/37 "2000-12-05T23:18:52Z")
Duke- my sympathies, but I can quite anytime. \ _Anytime, do you hear me?_ Two packs a _week_? Lightweight. As noble as it is to support the starving orphans… don’t the fine employees at Callard and Bowser have children, too? Think of the children! Olent- my apologies for the woosh factor. I was just being snarky. I mean, really… cinnamon? That almost belongs in the TMI thread. Falcon, I shall bring a tin to the DC Dopefest and see if I can convert you. Minty goodness, oh yes. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-been-so-insulted-in-my-whole-life/44013/38 "2000-12-05T23:43:48Z")
I just saw the Altoids ad for the first time today. Kinda made me go “hm.” Got a question, though. While I have had plenty of experience in (ahem) orally pleasuring males, the Altoids/oral sex connection is one that seems to have passed me by (most likely because I’m married). Anyhoo, could one of you kind folk please explain this one to me, without too much pointing and laughing? I’d appreciate it. Thanks. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-been-so-insulted-in-my-whole-life/44013/39 "2000-12-06T03:16:26Z")
Just a few reactions: **Arnold** , _that’s_ the worst you’ve ever been insulted and you’re a mod?! (reflective pause) Actually, are all you’re friends Twinkies? You’re not really a Carmelite nun or sumpin’, are ya? I love Altoids; they were the only things that helped during my many attempts at smoking cessation. The peppermint types were rivalled only by sucking on cloves–for the same reason. I didn’t gain weight because the flavors were so pungent and lasting food tasted funky. So for eye-watering, lasting, pure-mint rush, the peppermint rules. I prefer the wintergreen _because_ their taste is gentler, and they don’t have the nuclear, sinus-clearing effects of the peppermint. I loathe the taste of cinnamon–it’s bearable only in small quantities–so that takes care of _that_ issue! Veb ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-been-so-insulted-in-my-whole-life/44013/40 "2000-12-06T15:31:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andygirl \* > **Olent- my apologies for the woosh factor. I was just being snarky. I mean, really… cinnamon? That almost belongs in the TMI thread.** Just for that I’m dumping a Big Tin of cinnamon in your car when you’re not looking. You want TMI, kiddo? Here’s TMI. No, I’m not. 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-been-so-insulted-in-my-whole-life/44013.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-been-so-insulted-in-my-whole-life/44013.md?page=3)