# I've never figured out **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 8, 2020, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-figured-out/914690 "2020-07-08T02:16:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2020, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-figured-out/914690/61 "2020-07-23T19:05:03Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > [This collection](https://archive.org/details/LOGIC_AppleII_Disk-DOS027) has a game called “Auto Driver,” any chance that’s it?  Looks promising. It’s not the same collection we had at my school, but it would make sense that these games would wind up in different collections. The fact that it fits with all those others suggests a smaller program, and it does appear to be type I (which I believe means integer BASIC), like the original program. And the disk has a program called MENU, which you have to run to actually run the game, just like our old disks did. Unfortunately, the emulator provided returns an error that I’d have to figure out how to work around to see if it’s the same program. The error even happens if I try to load any of the games. Still, it’s the most promising I’ve seen yet. The only similar thing I’d found clearly referenced a full disk game with fancy graphics. So I’ll be checking into it more. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2020, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-figured-out/914690/62 "2020-07-23T20:06:13Z")
Sigh. Nope. It’s a different driving program, with colored graphics and stuff. Incidentally, it apparently only ran on the original Apple II, which is why it returns an error. The emulator is for an Apple IIe. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2020, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-figured-out/914690/63 "2020-07-23T20:08:09Z")
Bummer. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2020, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-figured-out/914690/64 "2020-07-23T22:22:04Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > Here’s something I never figured out. I was in a Berlin hotel room back in 2008 or 2009 flipping through the TV channels and on at least 2 of those channels there was a different topless woman taking phone calls from men and reading off what seemed like lotto numbers. A phone number and the string of “lotto” numbers were neatly superimposed beneath the breasts. I confess to watching a solid 30 minutes of this “entertainment” but even with a fairly good grasp of German, I couldn’t, and still can’t figure out what the deal was. No big mystery. At that time, cheap call-in quiz shows were popular on German TV, where a presenter asked inanely simple riddles and animated the watchers to call in for, I can’t quite remember, a fee of € 2.99 per call. This got endlessly extended, until some shmuck got away with a € 50 win. At day time, the presenters where oily youngish men, think assurance agent or used car salesman, but after 8 PM or so, sometimes those switched to scantily clad young ladies. They stripped during the program, to assure that the viewers stayed tuned, and the lotto numbers were just a part of some of those silly quiz games. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2020, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-figured-out/914690/65 "2020-07-23T22:28:52Z")
Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![FlikTheBlue](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fliktheblue/32/10972_2.png) [@FlikTheBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlikTheBlue)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2020, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-figured-out/914690/66 "2020-07-24T07:10:45Z")
> [@mousetrap](#): > > Those would be the Advanced Dungeons and Dragons monster cards, from back in 1982. See: [http://grognardia.blogspot.com/2009/05/retrospective-monster-cards.html](http://grognardia.blogspot.com/2009/05/retrospective-monster-cards.html) Those are the ones I was thinking of. Thank you! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2020, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-figured-out/914690/67 "2020-07-24T12:45:40Z")
I saw a TV show ca. 1982 or 1983, possibly during the summer “failed pilots aired as specials” season. In my memory, it was a magazine-type “strange news” format. It is absolutely possible that it was satire that went over my head. The only segment I remember even semi-clearly was one showing how easily the tops of then-new 2-liter soft drink bottles could break off if the bottle was dropped, causing a geyser of sticky sugar water to go everywhere. Whenever I’ve tried looking for it, I’ve failed miserably, because that’s the best I can do to describe it. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2020, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-figured-out/914690/68 "2020-07-24T14:49:37Z")
There is an old SNL clip from the early 80s that I can find no trace of on the internet. I know it exists since there is discussion of it many places but finding an actual video of it is impossible. It features Brad Hall in a skit called Larry’s Corner. You can find one clip of Larry’s Corner on the NBC site but not the particular one I remember. Larry has 3 of his childhood friends on the show. One who makes fart noises with his armpit, one who has milk come out his nose when he laughs, and one who will drink anything (played by Tim Kazurinksky). Have never been able to find this clip. ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2020, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-figured-out/914690/69 "2020-07-24T16:51:50Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > I saw a TV show ca. 1982 or 1983, possibly during the summer “failed pilots aired as specials” season. In my memory, it was a magazine-type “strange news” format. It is absolutely possible that it was satire that went over my head. The only segment I remember even semi-clearly was one showing how easily the tops of then-new 2-liter soft drink bottles could break off if the bottle was dropped, causing a geyser of sticky sugar water to go everywhere. This sounds like it could have been Real People, or one of its knock-offs. I don’t remember the bit you are talking about, but I do remember watching it faithfully. > **[Real People](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Real_People)** > > Real People is an American reality television series that originally aired on NBC from 1979 to 1984, Wednesdays from 8 pm to 9 pm Eastern Time. Its initial episodes aired live in the Eastern and Central time zones. Real People featured "real people" (as opposed to celebrities) with unique occupations or hobbies. > Real People featured a panel of seated hosts in front of a large studio audience. The hosts introduced pre-filmed segments and engaged in comedic banter about them. Each segment was a vi... ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2020, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-figured-out/914690/70 "2020-07-24T17:02:05Z")
> [@Zyada](#): > > This sounds like it could have been Real People, or one of its knock-offs. I don’t remember the bit you are talking about, but I do remember watching it faithfully. I was kinda thinking “That’s Incredible” but IIRC they were more like “Stupid Human Tricks.” [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/zFXtb9jBaBM/hqdefault.jpg "That's Incredible!") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFXtb9jBaBM) Has OP perused these from that genre? > **[Category:1980s American reality television series](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:1980s_American_reality_television_series)** > > This category has only the following subcategory. > The following 16 pages are in this category, out of 16 total. This list may not reflect recent changes. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2020, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-figured-out/914690/71 "2020-07-24T17:30:55Z")
I don’t think so. I was a regular viewer of both _Real People_ and _That’s Incredible_, and the best way I can describe it was that the show I’m (badly) remembering had a different tone. In my memory, it was almost like a Michael Moore movie, but too early to have been him. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2020, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-figured-out/914690/72 "2020-07-24T17:35:31Z")
I remember that sketch. Wasn’t the finale Kazurensky drinking nose milk? ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2020, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-figured-out/914690/73 "2020-07-24T18:21:13Z")
There was a consumer protection show called “Fight Back!” with David Horowitz, but it lasted even longer than Real People. But that sounds like something he might have done. And there might have been knock offs of that show as well. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/ZK4tZfpVS6A/hqdefault.jpg "Fight Back! With David Horowitz - April 1980 (Part I)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZK4tZfpVS6A) ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2020, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-figured-out/914690/74 "2020-07-24T18:38:17Z")
There’s a couple of CD’s I’ve tried to locate. Can’t remember the names of either one. 1. I saw this one in a record store back in the nineties. The store is long out of business. It was a collection on songs by different artists. It’s theme was that it was inspired by the movie _Pulp Fiction_. But it wasn’t the official Pulp Fiction soundtrack. It also wasn’t _The Tarantino Experience_ or _The Tarantino Connection_ or _Music From Tarantino Movies_. 2. This was a Christmas album. I saw it in a Borders store around fifteen years ago. It was traditional Christmas songs but they were each performed in a different non-Christmas genre. The only one I specifically remember was “The Little Drummer Boy” which was performed as a Middle Eastern song. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2020, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-figured-out/914690/75 "2020-07-24T18:40:07Z")
If you can remember any (but better yet more than one) song that was on it, [discogs.com](http://discogs.com) and [allmusic.com](http://allmusic.com) can sometimes do real magic in identifying albums. ---
**Author:** ![Powers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Powers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Powers)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2020, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-figured-out/914690/76 "2020-07-24T18:48:35Z")
Speaking of Chuck E. Cheese, I’ve long wanted to again taste the pizza they used to make back in the mid-80s. But trying to find a copycat recipe – or even a good description of it – is almost impossible. Powers &8^] ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2020, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-figured-out/914690/77 "2020-07-24T19:03:15Z")
Yep, that’s the exact one. In fact I believe the way the skit ends is it is promptly interrupted with the breaking news that Buckwheat had been shot. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2020, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-figured-out/914690/78 "2020-07-24T19:14:48Z")
> [@Powers](#): > > Speaking of Chuck E. Cheese, I’ve long wanted to again taste the pizza they used to make back in the mid-80s. But trying to find a copycat recipe – or even a good description of it – is almost impossible. I worked at Chuck E Cheese during the summer of 1984. Mostly they kept me in the kitchen making the pizzas. As I remember, the dough was made from scratch daily, the cheese was combination of mozzarella and provolone, and the tomato sauce was made from ten gallon-size cans of tomato paste or puree to which a pouch of premixed spices were added. ---
**Author:** ![Powers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Powers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Powers)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2020, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-figured-out/914690/79 "2020-07-24T19:51:32Z")
There was something about the specific combination – or proportions – that appealed to little me, though. It had a unique mouthfeel. I didn’t eat any other restaurant pizza except Chuck E. Cheese’s until I went to college. Powers &8^] ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2020, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-figured-out/914690/80 "2020-07-24T19:57:57Z")
Honestly, it wasn’t very good pizza. I only ate it because I worked there and could get a free or discounted (can’t remember which) pizza for lunch break. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-figured-out/914690.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-figured-out/914690.md?page=5)