# i've never taken a shit. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 13, 2007, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-taken-a-shit/395712 "2007-03-13T04:51:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![bob\_loblaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@bob\_loblaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bob_loblaw)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2007, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-taken-a-shit/395712/1 "2007-03-13T04:51:56Z")
i mean, i’ve left plenty of them behind… and in quite many different places. but i’ve never taken one. not once. never even thought of taking one. so why do so many people claim to be taking so many shits? and where are they taking them? on walks? to the movies? to lovers lane? i just don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2007, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-taken-a-shit/395712/2 "2007-03-13T05:05:35Z")
You know. It wasn’t that funny a schtick when George Carlin did it. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2007, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-taken-a-shit/395712/3 "2007-03-13T05:10:04Z")
You’ve been here two and a half years, and only made a bit over 300 posts and have only started 19 threads. And you felt compelled to post _that_??? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![bob\_loblaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@bob\_loblaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bob_loblaw)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2007, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-taken-a-shit/395712/4 "2007-03-13T05:25:54Z")
ok, a) : > [@](#): > > You know. It wasn’t that funny a schtick when George Carlin did it. you have fought (some of) my ignorance; i didn’t know i was stealing a carlin bit. truly sorry. and b) : > [@](#): > > You’ve been here two and a half years, and only made a bit over 300 posts and have only started 19 threads. > > And you felt compelled to post that??? hmmmm… the forum title is “mundane pointless stuff i must share” and you are complaining about my op, which is nothing if not both mundane & pointless… hmmmm… so where are you taking your shits? cause i don’t wanna leave any of mine someplace they might meet yours. cause, y’know, i may leave them behind, but i still care about the company they keep. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2007, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-taken-a-shit/395712/5 "2007-03-13T05:46:09Z")
It appears your shift key is damaged. ---
**Author:** ![Washoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecae2f/32.png) [@Washoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washoe)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2007, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-taken-a-shit/395712/6 "2007-03-13T05:56:42Z")
I don’t give a shit. Never have. Frankly, I just don’t think it would make a particularly appealing gift. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2007, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-taken-a-shit/395712/7 "2007-03-13T06:04:43Z")
Never cleaned up after your dog or cat. never changed a diaper. Lucky you. ---
**Author:** ![Manatee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@Manatee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manatee)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2007, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-taken-a-shit/395712/8 "2007-03-13T06:53:02Z")
[QUOTE=Washoe] I don’t give a shit. Never have. Frankly, I just don’t think it would make a particularly appealing gift. [/QUOTE] My wife once gave one as a gift. She put it in a watch box, wrapped it up, and gave it to my dad. The best part was that he _knew_ that it _had_ to have come from his friend from across the street, as they’d been pranking each other for years. Of course, he thought the same thing about the road-kill opossum that she wrapped up for him, too. ---
**Author:** ![Bootis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e8c25b/32.png) [@Bootis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bootis)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2007, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-taken-a-shit/395712/9 "2007-03-13T07:42:17Z")
Somewhere, someone on this earth holds the distinction of producing the worlds longest shit made by any living person. It may or may not also be the longest one ever produced by man. (more likely, obviously, if the general shit length trend has been steadily increasing) But, my point is, this person probably doesn’t have any inkling that he or she is special in any way, and probably didn’t consider taking the shit to be bronzed and displayed. But he probably did look at it and think, wow. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2007, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-taken-a-shit/395712/10 "2007-03-13T08:14:23Z")
I’ve never taken a bath, well, except for that one time at the plumber’s merchant. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2007, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-taken-a-shit/395712/11 "2007-03-13T08:48:46Z")
I’ve never taken a bow, because the archery store has really good security. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2007, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-taken-a-shit/395712/12 "2007-03-13T10:58:43Z")
Actually, the OP is wrong. Everywhere you go, you take at least a little shit with you. Except maybe on the way home from having an an enema. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2007, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-taken-a-shit/395712/13 "2007-03-13T12:38:07Z")
You sound like that Mickey Rooney guy. FUNK DAT! ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2007, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-taken-a-shit/395712/14 "2007-03-13T13:24:35Z")
My husband’s Mexican co-worker always says he has to “make a shit” which makes much more sense to me. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2007, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-taken-a-shit/395712/15 "2007-03-13T13:41:24Z")
Craftsmanship like that is all too rare nowadays. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2007, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-taken-a-shit/395712/16 "2007-03-13T13:44:20Z")
“Well don’t take one of mine. I’ve only got three left and the weekend’s coming up.” Pure comedy gold. WAY BACK IN THE 70s! ---
**Author:** ![Fetchund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b2d939/32.png) [@Fetchund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fetchund)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2007, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-never-taken-a-shit/395712/17 "2007-03-13T16:05:44Z")
The strange thing is, I have. Taken a shit, and given a shit, that is. And both were appreciated. I spent the weekend looking for shit, and was pleased to find it! (Told you I have weird hobbies!)