# I've no reason to be upset? Well then, FUCK YOU! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 2, 2001, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-no-reason-to-be-upset-well-then-fuck-you/67314 "2001-06-02T07:42:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![passerby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a88e57/32.png) [@passerby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/passerby)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-no-reason-to-be-upset-well-then-fuck-you/67314/21 "2001-06-03T05:14:27Z")
**Sofa King** , what can I say? That was totally uncalled for. Completely unfair. Stop posting such threads or I shall make it my primary goal in life to get you banned! I mean look, here I am sitting at home all alone on a Saturday night, feeling sorry for myself, surfing the net like the complete nerd that I am, when I spot a promising thread. The first few words sound perfect: “Yeah, yeah, yeah. My life sucks.” Perrrfect. And it goes on talking about medical conditions, surgery, complications. Yes, yes, yes! Once again, someone out there is more miserable than I am, that makes me _so_ happy! Give me more… Um… what’s that again? “Big balls?” That doesn’t sound right?! You’re rich, successful, some woman wants you? Noooo! Mercy! This is wrong, you’re happy! Shit, shit, shit, shit! Your life’s not more miserable than mine! I can’t laugh at you! This thread is useless. **Sofa King** , PISS OFF! 😃 [sub]And I was gonna tell you the joke about the guy with three balls, just to cheer you up.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-no-reason-to-be-upset-well-then-fuck-you/67314/22 "2001-06-03T18:45:49Z")
[Chief Wiggum] That’s some good writin’ boy. [/Chief Wiggum]. You brightened my day with a sincerely entertaining OP. No go, play with your enlarged scrotum. At least, that’s what i would do. If I wasn’t a girl. Which I am. Let us never speak of this again. Fran ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2001, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-no-reason-to-be-upset-well-then-fuck-you/67314/23 "2001-06-04T03:02:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > Why on EARTH would a guy want BIGGER testicles? > > Well, the pleasure comes when the white, gooey stuff comes squirting out… bigger nuts means more gooey stuff, which means more coming out, which means more pleasure. I guess… I’ve never really thought of my testicles as anything other than a weak spot in battle. \*\* Ok… more news to me. Shooting a bigger load = good. I’m gonna start writing this stuff down. It’s so counterintuitive I’ll never remember it otherwise. (Dr Lao: I had the same experience, not realizing that was supposed to be good stuff because the big ball line threw me) ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2001, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-no-reason-to-be-upset-well-then-fuck-you/67314/24 "2001-06-04T03:54:54Z")
**iampunha** > [@](#): > > I almost want to use this as my sig, but then I picture some of the qualmier folks in GQ and GD getting antsy when discussing the finer points of the Bible and seeing a reference to Sofa’s balls. By all means, use it if you’d like. It might actually calm the savage beast behind each GD topic if you say something that strikes a cord – they might giggle first then come up with a logical answer. 🙂 Besides, all testicles deserve a little TLC, I believe that. Now if I only had a man with two testicles to give some TLC to… \< sigh \> ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Lao](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2bfe46/32.png) [@Dr.Lao](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Lao)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2001, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-no-reason-to-be-upset-well-then-fuck-you/67314/25 "2001-06-04T05:21:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > **Well, the pleasure comes when the white, gooey stuff comes squirting out… bigger nuts means more gooey stuff, which means more coming out, which means more pleasure.** Actually, most of the seminal fluid is produced by the seminal vesicles and the prostate gland, neither of which are in the scrotum. Also, I’ll bet that the increase in size is largely due to swelling or scar tissue. I doubt that there are any extra semen producing cells. So, I assume that any benefit **Sofa King** can expect to enjoy from his new gigantic balls will be cosmetic. However, I certainly wish him health and happiness as long as he promises to use his huge balls for good instead of evil. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2001, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-no-reason-to-be-upset-well-then-fuck-you/67314/26 "2001-06-04T15:50:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OpalCat \* > **Why on EARTH would a guy want BIGGER testicles? They’re nasty and annoying enough at regular size. Bleah. Big ole dangly balls on purpose? Why?** Time, I fear, for an AC/DC moment: \*\*"I’m ever upper class high society God’s gift to ballroom notoriety I always fill my ballroom The event is never small The social pages say I’ve got The biggest balls of all I’ve got big balls I’ve got big balls And they’re such big balls Dirty big balls And he’s got big balls And she’s got big balls But we’ve got the biggest balls of them all"\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-no-reason-to-be-upset-well-then-fuck-you/67314/27 "2001-06-05T00:51:06Z")
Having had testcular surgery before, it did have it’s benefits. I felt like I’d jest been kick in the sack for two weeks before surgery. No pain after surgery, and my blood supply rerouted. I got errections at the drop of a hat for the next year, and they lasted very long. Fun while it lasted. The hair growning back after surgery was itchy though. Staying home and just lying around for three weeks sucked too. No heavy lifting for another four weeks was devestating, when working a grunt job. ---
**Author:** ![PinkBikini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9d8465/32.png) [@PinkBikini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PinkBikini)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-no-reason-to-be-upset-well-then-fuck-you/67314/28 "2001-06-05T06:30:18Z")
Now see, THIS is a good sig. \*\*“Big ole dangly balls on purpose? Why?” – OpalCat \*\* _snicker_ _snort_ And thank you all SO much, now I’ve got,“big balls in Cow Town, we’ll all go down, big balls in Cow Town, we’ll dance around” by Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys stuck in my head. Pink [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-no-reason-to-be-upset-well-then-fuck-you/67314.md?page=1)