They call me Dr. Fucker
You might feel a little pinch
It’s a diesel mothertrucker
Solid gold lead pipe cinch
Eyes as green as gooseshit
Squirtin’ acid from my tongue
I run with all the whozits
And my mainspring’s done been sprung
Calling Dr. Fucker
Calling Dr. Fucker
Rock’n’roll emergency
Calling Dr. Fucker
Calling Dr. Fucker
Rock’n’roll M.D.
Well, it’s forty below and I don’t give a fuck
Got a heater in my truck
And I’m off to the rodeo
It’s an allemande left, and allemande right
Come on, you fuckin’ dummy
Get your right step right
Get off the stage, ya goddam goof
Don’tcha know?
Piss me off
Fuckin’ jerk
Get on my nerves
(To the tune of “Jingle Bells”)
Dashing through the snow
In my rusty Chevrolet
Down the road I go
Sliding all the way
I need new piston rings
I need some new snow tires
My car is held together
By a piece of chicken wire
Oh, rust and smoke, the heater’s broke
The door just blew away
I light a match to see the dash
And then I start to pray
The frame is bent, the muffler went
The radio, it’s okay
Oh, what fun it is to drive
This rusty Chevrolet
“Rusty Chevrolet,” Da Yoopers
Jingle bells
Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
Observe if you will
I’m in my hide-out in the back of the hill
I crack a wall then I caught about a mil
Co-defendant Johnny Blaze and Bobby Steels
We was blazing hot wheels
Turn the corner you can hear the wheels squeal
On that ass fast was the Batmobile
I could tell by the demon on the grill, this was real
Alley-cat screaming, I hit a trash can
Garbage everywhere, money flying out the bags and
Trying to escape, code nine with the cape
Or else he’d be headed upstate, it’s The Riddler
Hot Wheels!
Hot Wheels!
Always chasin’, always racin’
Hot Wheels!
Hot Wheels!
Keep on turning now, keep on burning now
Keep on turning
Hot Wheels!
No, what? How can this be?
I’ve never tried acid, shrooms, or DMT!
It’s a bad trip! Oy, gevalt!
Of course, Blitzø, this would be your fault!
My lungs are full of honesty
Would you promise me that you won’t judge?
(Yes, bitch)
Not trying to divulge too much
But I’m in too deep
So first of all
FUCK YOU!
(WHAT?!)
This is just typical!
Well, two can play at this game of dismay
Cuz if you’re here, causing frustration
I’m torturing you in your hallucination!
He’ll take you up, he’ll bring you down,
He’ll plant your feet back on the ground.
He’ll fly so high, he’ll swoop so low.
Timothy Leary.
He’ll fly his astral plane.
He’ll take you trips around the bay.
He’ll bring you back the same day.
Timothy Leary
Timothy Leary
Timothy Leary
Timothy Leary
Timothy Leary
I look up the sky is blue
I look back down oh fuck so are you
Wo ho guess I’m takin’ LSD
Feel Iike Tarzan clean out of my tree
I’m watching TV or then again could it be
Watching me?
Ah no takin’ LSD
He rides through the jungle, tearin’ limbs off of trees
(Alley-Oop, oop, oop, oop-oop)
Knockin’ great big monsters dead on their knees
(Alley-Oop, oop, oop, oop-oop)
The cats don’t bug him 'cause they know better
(Alley-Oop, oop, oop, oop-oop)
'Cause he’s a mean motor scooter and a bad go-getter
(Alley-Oop, oop, oop, oop-oop)
(Alley-Oop) He’s the toughest man there is alive
(Alley-Oop) Wears clothes from a wildcat’s hide
(Alley-Oop) He’s the king of the jungle jive
Look at that cave man go!
Yaaaaaah!
He’s free as the breeze
He’s always at ease
He lives in the jungle
And hangs by his knees
As he swings through trees
Without a trapeze
In his BVD’s
A-hoo hoo!
He’s got a union card
And he’s practicin’ hard
To play the gitar
Gon’ be a big star
Yeah he’s gonna go far
An’ carry moonbeams home in a jar!
He ordered Chet’s guitar course COD
Makes A&E an’ he’s workin’ on B
Digs C&W an’ R&B
An’ an’ me an’ a chimpanzee agree
That one day soon he’ll be
A celebrity
I hate every ape I see
From chimpan-A to chimpan-Zee
No, you’ll never make a monkey out of me!
Oh my God! I was wrong!
It was Earth All Along
You’ve finally made a monkey,
(Yes, we finally made a monkey!)
Yes, you’ve finally made a monkey
Out of me!
Secretly, I’ve been tailing you
Like a fox that preys on a rabbit
I had to get you, and so I knew
I had to learn your ways and habits
Ooh, you were the catch that I was after
But I looked up, and I was in your arms
And I knew that I was captured
What’s this whole world coming to?
Things just ain’t the same
Any time the hunter gets captured by the game
I have only come here seeking knowledge
Things they would not teach me of in college
I can see that destiny you sold
Turned into a shining band of gold
I’ll be wrapped around your finger
I’ll be wrapped around your finger
There’s a chapter on fathers, a chapter on sons
There are pages of conflicts that nobody won
And the battles you lost and your bitter defeat
There’s a page where we fail to meet
There are tales of good fortune that couldn’t be planned
There’s a chapter on God that I don’t understand
There’s a promise of Heaven and Hell but I’m damned if I see
Though the pages are numbered
I can’t see where they lead
For the end is a mystery no-one can read
In the book of my life
Chapter one says to love her
You love her with all your heart
Chapter two you tell her you’re
Never, never, never, never, never gonna part
In chapter three remember the meaning of romance
In chapter four you break up
But you give her just one more chance
Oh, I wonder, wonder who, mmbadoo-ooh, who
Who wrote the book of love?
There’s a chance you will be there
Wondering what to do
How to play my role
I’ll leave it up to you
If I disguise my smile
It gives too much away
What if we can’t speak?
What, then, shall I say?
Don’t you be too long
Something has gone wrong
The chances are all gone
Another game of putting things aside
As if we’ll come back to them sometime
A brace of hope
A pride of innocence
And you would say something has gone wrong
Oh again
It seems we meet
In the spaces
In between
We always say
It won’t be long
Oh but something’s always wrong
There’s something happening here
But what it is ain’t exactly clear
There’s a man with a gun over there
Telling me I got to beware
I think it’s time we stop
Children, what’s that sound?
Everybody look, what’s going down?
On my own
As I wander through this wonderland alone
Never knowing my right foot from my left
My hat from my glove
I’m too misty and too much in love