Help me, information, get in touch with my Marie
She’s the only one who’d phone me here from Memphis, Tennessee
Her home is on the south side, high up on a ridge
Just a half a mile from the Mississippi Bridge
Operator, well let’s forget about this call
There’s no one there I really wanted to talk to
Thank you for your time, ah, you’ve been so much more than kind
And you can keep the dime
Once I built a railroad, I made it run
Made it race against time
Once I built a railroad, now it’s done
Brother, can you spare a dime?
Gimme a ticket for an aeroplane
Ain’t got time to take a fast train
Lonely days are gone, I’m a-goin’ home
My baby, just-a wrote me a letter
When Santa Claus gets your letter
You know what he will say:
“Have you been good just like you should
On every single day?”
Santa came down the chimney
Half past three, y’all
Left all them good ole presents
For my baby and for me
It’s a quarter to three, there’s no one in the place except you and me,
So, set ‘em up, Joe, I got a little story I think you should know.
We’re drinkin’, my friend, to the end of a brief episode,
Make it one for my baby and one more for the road.
Den out on de bayou dey got such a clatter…
Make soun’ like old Boudreaux done fall off his ladder.
I run like a rabbit to got to de do’…
Trip over de dawg an’ fall on de flo’!
As I look out de do’ in de light o’ de moon,
I t’ink, “Manh, you crazy, or got ole too soon.”
Cuz dere on de bayou when I stretch ma’ neck stiff…
Dere’s eight alligator a-pullin’ de skiff…
An’ a little fat drover wit’ a lone polein’ stick…
I know r’at away got to be ole St. Nick…
Mo’ fas’er an’ fas’er de ‘gator dey came.
He whistle an’ holler an’ call dem by name:
Pressed Rat and Warthog have closed down their shop.
They didn’t want to, 'twas all they had got.
Selling atonal apples, amplified heat,
And Pressed Rat’s collection of dog legs and feet.
If you go down in the woods today you’re sure of a big surprise
If you go down in the woods today you’d better go in disguise
For every bear that ever there was will gather there for certain
Because today’s the day the Teddy Bears have their picnic
I was on the outskirts of a little southern town
Tryin’ to reach my destination before the sun went down
The old CB was blarin’ away on channel 1-9,
When there came a little boy’s voice on the radio line
And he said: “Breaker 1-9! Is anyone there?
Come on back, truckers and talk to Teddy Bear!”
Baby, won’t you be my little Teddy bear…
A scooter for Jimmy, a dolly for Sue
The kind that will even say “How do you do.”
Doctor Jimmy and mister Jim
When I’m pilled you don’t notice him
He only comes out when I drink my gin
And the little man looked at the empty glass in his hand.
And he smiled a crooked grin,
He said, " I guess I’m out of gin.
And know we both have been so lonely.
And if you want me to come with you, then that’s all right with me.
‘Cause I know I’m goin’ nowhere and anywhere’s a better place to be."
You know my baby, she won’t let me in
I’ve Got a few pennies, I’m gonna buy myself a bottle of gin
I’m gonna call my buddy on the telephone
And say Let’s go get stoned
It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday
The regular crowd shuffles in
There’s an old man sitting next to me
Makin’ love to his tonic and gin
He says, “Son, can you play me a memory
I’m not really sure how it goes
But it’s sad and it’s sweet and I knew it complete
When I wore a younger man’s clothes.”
Clean shirt, new shoes
And I don’t know where I am goin’ to
Silk suit, black tie
I don’t need a reason why
They come runnin’ just as fast as they can
'Cause every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man
Well I woke up Sunday morning
With no way to hold my head, that didn’t hurt
And the beer I had for breakfast wasn’t bad
So I had one more for dessert
Then I fumbled in my closet through my clothes
And found my cleanest dirty shirt
Then I washed my face and combed my hair
And stumbled down the stairs to meet the day
I like beer, it makes me a jolly good fellow
I like beer, it helps me unwind and sometimes it makes me feel mellow
(Makes him feel mellow)
Whiskey’s too rough, Champagne costs too much, vodka puts my mouth in gear
This little refrain should help me explain as a matter of fact I like beer