It ain’t easy drying
These crying eyes of mine
It ain’t easy drying
These crying eyes of mine
I get so lonely, lonely, lonely
It ain’t easy drying
These crying eyes of mine
What can you do when
Those tears make you blind
There’s a tear in my beer
'Cause I’m crying for you, dear
You are on my lonely mind…
I like beer, it makes me a jolly good fellow,
I like beer, it helps me unwind and sometimes it makes me feel mellow,
Whiskey’s too rough, champagne costs too much, vodka puts my mouth in gear,
This little refrain should help me explain, as a matter of fact, I like beer.
Bob- Okay. On the first day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me: a beer.
Doug- On the second day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me: two turtlenecks,
Bob- And a beer. (Okay…) On the third day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me: three French toast,
Doug- Two turtlenecks,
Bob- And a beer. (Okay…)
Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve
You can say there’s no such thing as Santa
But as for me and grandpa we believe
And when the weather’s stormy and daybreak is far
I throw an extra dollar fifty on the bar
There’s no sense in saving pennies if I don’t know where you are
I drink a fancy beer
Beer & whiskey, whiskey & beer!
It muddles your mind, makes your head unclear.
Makes you spend your money,
Turns you blind and dumb!
Gimme some!
Drink! Drink! Drink!
To eyes that are bright as stars when they’re shining on me!
Drink! Drink! Drink!
To lips that are red and sweet as the fruit on the tree!
Here’s a hope that those bright eyes will shine
Lovingly, longingly soon into mine!
May those lips that are red and sweet,
Tonight with joy my own lips meet!
Drink! Drink!
Let the toast start!
May young hearts never part!
Drink! Drink! Drink!
Let every true lover salute his sweetheart!
Tell me who, who spiked the eggnog?
It smells like rum in here.
Who, who snuck it in?
We’re gonna feel it tomorrow I fear.
The radio is blasting,
Someone’s beating on the door
I’m looking at my girlfriend
She’s passed out on the floor
I seen so many things
I ain’t never seen before
I don’t know what it is
But I don’t wanna see no more
Mama told me not to come
Mama told me not to come
She said, that ain’t the way to have fun, son
That ain’t the way to have fun
We had fun, fun, fun…
Til Daddy took the T-bird away…
We had joy, we had fun,
We had seasons in the sun,
But the hills that we climbed,
Were just seasons out of time.
It’s the holiday season
And Santa Claus is coming round
The Christmas snow is white on the ground
When old Santa gets into town
He’ll be coming down the chimney, down
Yeah, she comes around here
Just about midnight
Makes me feel so good Lord
Makes me feel alright
Walkin’ down my street
Comes up to my house
She knocks upon me door
Makes me feel alright.
Her name is G-L-O-R-I-A
Gloria
Don’t you think you’re falling
If everybody wants you
Why isn’t anybody calling
You don’t have to answer
Leave 'em hanging on the line
Calling Gloria
Angels we have heard on high
Singing sweetly o’er the plains:
And the mountains in reply
Echoing their joyous strains
Gloria in excelsis Deo!
Gloria in excelsis Deo!
You look like an angel,
Walk like an angel,
Talk like an angel,
But I got wise–
You’re the devil in disguise,
Oh yes you are,
The devil in disguise.
Judy in disguise, what you aiming for?
A circus of a-horror, yea yea, well that’s what you are
You made me a life of ashes
I guess I’ll just take your glasses
How did people see,
In the fourteenth century,
When no-one had invented glasses?
Walking all around,
Were they more tuned into sound?
Did everything they set their eyes on,
Seem to blend with the horizon?
Doctor, my eyes
Cannot see the sky
Is this the price
For having learned how not to cry