Einstein was not a handsome fellow
Nobody ever called him Al
He had a long moustache to pull on
It was yellow
I don’t believe he ever had a girl
One thing he missed out in his theory
of time, space and relativity
Is something that makes it very clear
He was never gonna score like you’n’me
He didn’t know about Quark, Strangeness and Charm
If you’ll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
I can call you Betty
And Betty, when you call me, you can call me Al
Cover me with kisses, baby
Cover me with love
Roll me in designer sheets
I’ll never get enough
Emotions come, I don’t know why
Cover up love’s alibi
Call me (call me) on the line
Call me, call me any, anytime
Call me (call me) I’ll arrive
When you are ready we can share the wine
Call me
Out of the middle
Came a lady
She whispered in my ear
Something crazy
She said
Spill the wine, dig that girl
Spill the wine, take that pearl
Spill the wine, dig that girl
Spill the wine, take that pearl
Down in New Orlean, where everything is fine
All them cats is drinkin’ that wine
Drinking that mess to their delight
When they gets drunk, start singing all night
Drinkin’ wine spo-dee-o-dee, drinkin’ wine, bop ba
Wine spo-dee-o-dee, drinkin’ wine, bop ba
Wine spo-dee-o-dee, drinkin’ wine, bop ba
Pass that bottle to me
On the banks of the river on a well beaten path
It’s funny how those memories they last
Like strawberry wine and seventeen
The hot July moon saw everything
My first taste of love oh bittersweet
Green on the vine
Like strawberry wine
Ramblin’ around this dirty old town
Singin’ for nickels and dimes
Times getting rough I ain’t got enough
To buy me a bottle of wine
Bottle of wine, fruit of the vine
When you gonna let me get sober
Leave me along, let me go home
Let me go home and start over
I guess I just lost my husband
I don’t know where he went
So I’m gonna drink my money
I’m not gonna pay his rent (nope)
I got a brand new attitude
And I’m gonna wear it tonight
I wanna get in trouble
I wanna start a fight
Oh, don’t give us none of your aggravation,
We had it with your discipline.
Oh, Saturday night’s alright for fighting,
Get a little action in.
Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes
And he went down, but to my surprise
He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear
But I busted a chair right across his teeth
And we crashed through the wall and into the street
Kicking and a’ gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer
Well a hush fell over the pool room
Jimmy come boppin’ in off the street
And when the cuttin’ were done
The only part that wasn’t bloody
Was the soles of the big man’s feet
Yeah he were cut in in bout a hundred places
And he were shot in a couple more
And you better believe
They sung a different kind of story
When big Jim hit the floor
Now if I appear to be carefree
It’s only to camouflage my sadness
And honey to shield my pride I try
To cover this hurt with a show of gladness
If I’m laden at all
I’m laden with sadness
That everyone’s heart
Isn’t filled with the gladness
Of love for one another
Well Jimmy played harmonica in the pub where I was born
He played it from the night time to the peaceful early morn
He soothed the souls of psychos and the men who had the horn
And they all looked very happy in the morning
Now Jimmy didn’t like his place in this world of ours
Where the elephant man broke strong men’s necks
When he’d had too many Powers
So sad to see the grieving of the people that he’s leaving
And he took the road for God knows in the morning
When your rooster crows at the break a dawn
Look out your window and I’ll be gone
You’re the reason I’m trav’lin’ on
Don’t think twice, it’s all right
I am the little red rooster
Too lazy to crow for day
I am the little red rooster
Too lazy to crow for day
Keep everything in the farm yard upset in every way
The dogs begin to bark and hounds begin to howl
Dogs begin to bark and hounds begin to howl
Watch out strange cat people
Little red rooster’s on the prowl
There’s a farm called Misery, but of that we’ll have none
Because we know of one
That’s always lots of fun (Ha ha!)
And this one’s name is Jollity; believe me, folks, it’s great
For everything sings out to us as we go through the gate
All the little pigs, they grunt and howl
The cats mee-yow
The dogs bow-wow
Everybody makes a row
Down on Jollity Farm
All the little pigs, they grunt and howl
(Grunt, howl, grunt, howl)
The cats mee-yow
(Mee-yow, mee-yow)
The dogs bow-wow
(Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff)
Everybody makes a row
Down on Jollity Farm
Why don’t you sit right back,
And I, I may tell you a tale.
A tale of three little pigs,
And a big, bad, wolf.
Just sit right back
And you’ll hear a tale
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this tropic port
Aboard this tiny ship
The mate was a mighty sailing man
The skipper brave and sure
Five passengers set sail that day
For a 3 hour tour, a 3 hour tour
Though death and darkness gather all about me
My ship be torn apart upon the seas
I shall smell again the fragrance of these islands
And the heaving waves that brought me once to thee
And should I return home safe again to England
I shall watch the English mist roll through the dale
For you are beautiful, I have loved you dearly
More dearly than the spoken word can tell