# I've seen the future, and this is it: **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 26, 2009, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-seen-the-future-and-this-is-it/487486 "2009-02-26T05:57:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2009, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-seen-the-future-and-this-is-it/487486/81 "2009-02-26T19:36:48Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > There was a quote in the OP? Oh, you mean the kind of quote without quotation marks, one of them quotes. All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players. > [@](#): > > All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players. “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.” If the only quote there is the third line, what do you call the first two? ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2009, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-seen-the-future-and-this-is-it/487486/82 "2009-02-26T19:38:23Z")
> [@CaerieD](#): > > Just be sure to attribute it properly. Nonsense. Just tell everyone that you’ve seen the future. That ought to cover it. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2009, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-seen-the-future-and-this-is-it/487486/83 "2009-02-26T19:39:22Z")
I’m in general agreement with the point of the writing, but in my view, it wasn’t particularly obvious that the work was not the OP’s, and I believe the failure to offer credit by reference of some sort was a mistake. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2009, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-seen-the-future-and-this-is-it/487486/84 "2009-02-26T19:46:02Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > No telling if SA did this on purpose or by accident… Either way, it demonstrates his ineffable dishonesty and stupidity. It’s a win-win. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2009, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-seen-the-future-and-this-is-it/487486/85 "2009-02-26T20:05:52Z")
> [@Caught\_Work](#): > > Hand or head? $20, same as in town. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2009, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-seen-the-future-and-this-is-it/487486/86 "2009-02-26T20:09:48Z")
Incidentally, I have seen the future, and it consists of thousands of moaning oldsters, pining for the world that existed before they were born and before the liberals pulled the country down into the depths of hell. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2009, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-seen-the-future-and-this-is-it/487486/87 "2009-02-26T20:11:51Z")
Why would anybody with half a brain and who’s been hanging around on the internet for more than a week assume any unattributed story longer than two sentences that gets passed around in an email wasn’t stolen from somewhere else? ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2009, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-seen-the-future-and-this-is-it/487486/88 "2009-02-26T23:32:21Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > Biden had used the quote a number of times before, always properly crediting Kinnock. One time he got tired and forgot to, and paid for it dearly.\* > > Now, of all the things to get on **SA** for … focusing on this triviality discredits all the substantive criticisms he so richly deserves. Let it alone, okay? If you’re talking about Biden, I agree (though it’s funny when plagiarizing is excused . . . and when it’s not). If you’re talking about **SA** , I agree (though it’s funny when plagiarizing is excused . . . and when it’s not). - I know this; Republicans and conservatives seem not to. ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2009, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-seen-the-future-and-this-is-it/487486/89 "2009-02-26T23:38:21Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players. > > “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.” > > If the only quote there is the third line, what do you call the first two? Wait…I though _you_ wrote that! Without an attribution, it’s completely unclear! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2009, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-seen-the-future-and-this-is-it/487486/90 "2009-02-26T23:47:23Z")
> [@pedescribe](#): > > Wait…I though _you_ wrote that! Without an attribution, it’s completely unclear! > > 😉 It’s easy. By grouping the three together and then asking a leading rhetorical question, he’s implying that someone who doesn’t use quotes to indicate attribution is exactly the same as a murderer or rapist. ---
**Author:** ![Daylate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9dc877/32.png) [@Daylate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daylate)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2009, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-seen-the-future-and-this-is-it/487486/91 "2009-02-27T00:06:46Z")
```auto #5 Today, 01:27 AM ShibbOleth Guest Join Date: Jul 2001 The Onion Beat you to it by 11 years -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Congress Passes Americans With No Abilities Act ``` Thank you very very very much for this. I’ve had so much fun with it today! It sounds so authentic that I’ve reeled in several folks, who are now pissed off at me. Haven’t had so much fun in days! ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2009, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-seen-the-future-and-this-is-it/487486/92 "2009-02-27T01:48:54Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > I am pleased to hear that you are not the author of this joyless scrap of bitter sarcasm. The only question which remains is why you thought it worthwhile to bring this to our attention. Given your self-annointed position as the “conservative gadfly who exposes the hypocrisy of the left”… Actually, you are the one who annointed me with that appellation. I’ve just repeated it back to you from time to time. > [@elucidator](#): > > ..we are pretty much given to assume you find some quality of truth here, the quality that raises humor from lead to gold. That’s correct. I thought it was hilariously funny; I also thought certain posters around here, the kind who can laugh at themselves – even if they disagreed with the overall thrust of it – would find it hilariously funny as well; and I thought it illuminated certain elements of the liberal mindset that could use some illumination, such as an eager willingness to create victims where none exist; to regard American taxpayers as The Goose Who Lays Neverending Golden Eggs; and to turn a blind eye to human nature and ignore the fact that encouraging/rewarding slackardly behavior not only kills productivity but encourages slackardliness in everyone else. Why work hard when the guy next to you is getting just as much as you and barely coasting? The CETA program of the 1970s is a prime example of what happens when government is in charge of do-gooding employment programs. At the time that program was in effect I was married and the woman I was married to worked as a police dispatcher in the large midwestern city we lived in. Everyone worked hard and did their job and got paid an adequate wage. Then the city had to hire disadvanaged, underemployed and unemployed people under the federal CETA program, and some of these people were assigned to the dispatchers’ office. They were federal employees who became virtually untouchable. They couldn’t be disciplined or fired and they were paid more than the regular dispatchers. They sat around in cliques laughing and shooting the shit, reading paperback novels and listening to music while the regular dispatchers had to carry the entire load with a workforce that had been reduced in anticipation of work to be done by the CETA employees. And then guess what happened when new CETA hires came in and tried to work and do a good job? The got abruptly pulled aside and told in no uncertain terms that they were not to screw up a good thing by actually doing some work, and that their time there was going to be very unpleasant if they didn’t back off and go along to get along. These people knew they were untouchable; they had higher pay and greater benefits than the city employees who were doing all the work; and they were scamming the system and laughing at the very government efforts being made to provide for them. And over time they got so bored they left anyway, only to be replace by new hires who were similarly indoctrinated too. This is the kind of thing that goes on when you have government make-work programs. The government doesn’t care if you work or not, or if the money it’s paying you is going down the drain. (Hey, it’s taxpayer money anyway and therefore inexhaustible. :rolleyes:) And it can slap itself on the back and congratulate itself for reducing unemployment and taking care of its ‘disadvantaged’ (i.e., lazy) citizens. > [@elucidator](#): > > And what truth is that? That some of us are too mindful of the halt, the lame and the stupid. That we are too generous. That we weaken the robust vitality of our nation by coddling the weak and stupid. What do we do with all these useless people? Who cannot be formed into wetware robots that produce loud, shiny crap so that they might consume loud, shiny crap? Apparently, the author of this leaden bit of typing urges us to consider that contempt is a good first step. Only a weepy do-gooder would think of these useless scraps as fully human, as worthy as we. It suggests that it might be better to rid ourselves of this sort of sentimental humanism. It mocks compassion for being inefficient by pointing out that humane ideals are not cost-effective. It mocks foolish compassion that creates victims where none exist and casts aspersions on those who are productive and portrays them as though they were being mean. It’s also a good way to buy votes with money generated by someone else’s efforts. > [@elucidator](#): > > But they are us, aren’t they? Save for a random blip of the genetic lottery, I am that person who cannot function with the simplest of tasks. And so are you. Intelligence is not a virtue, it is merely a characteristic, we probably cannot help but be proud of it, but it would be wise to try. I have no problem with providing help for people who truly need it, but I would imagine they are a very small percentage indeed. The OP was obviously making fun of people who aren’t really stupid or disadvantaged, but lazy and perfectly happy to coast on the government’s dime. > [@elucidator](#): > > And the answer to Cain’s Question is “Yes. Yes, you are your brother’s keeper.” People (and government) like that ain’t my brother, they just heavy. 😉 And besides, Cain didn’t ask “Is goverment my brother’s keeper?”, or “Is it incumbent upon me to be everyone else’s keeper through wasteful, profligate goverment spending?”, now did he? I know you mean everything you said, **luci**. And yours is an admirable attitude. The trouble is that that high-mindedness and desire to help the truly disadvantaged, when taken over by government, gets transmogrified into wildly wasteful and counterproductive programs that do little to help the truly disadvantaged (indeed, the people who truly need it almost invariably find that there’s nowhere near enough provided for them so as to provide needlessly for others who don’t really need it…such is the way government works in this country) and serve mainly to waste taxpayer dollars and encourage more people to be lazy and nonproductive and to expect the government to provide for them. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2009, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-seen-the-future-and-this-is-it/487486/93 "2009-02-27T01:59:18Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Well, that’s not entirely true: you knew you got it from an email, so you could have posted that as attribution. Yes, I could have. It just didn’t occur to me to do so. I’ve said this numerous times upthread. > [@Miller](#): > > The above being said, I think this is true. Anyone familiar with your posting history would know that you do not have a habit of plagiarizing. They would also be able to recognize that you are, in fact, stupid enough to think that saying, “I’ve seen the future” is the same as saying, “This is something I saw online somewhere.” When rock critic Jon Landau wrote, “I have seen the future of rock and roll and his name is Bruce Springsteen”, did that imply that he created Bruce Springsteen? If I say that I’ve seen the future of automobile and it’s name is the 2010 Whizzmobile, does that mean I’m implying I created that car? Of course not. You know as well as I do that in normal discourse when someone says they’ve seen the future of something it means that they have come upon it and been impressed with its promise. Such is the case with the OP. I came upon it in my email and thought it was a brilliant parody of liberal goverment, and that it served as advance notice of where we may well be heading if that government is allowed to proceed unabated. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2009, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-seen-the-future-and-this-is-it/487486/94 "2009-02-27T02:04:14Z")
> [@](#): > > You folks seriously can’t get through the to the point of the OP because he didn’t appropriately cite a chain email? Seriously? Give us a break. We’ve had years of tearing apart Starving Artist’s political views. But plagiarism is something new. > [@](#): > > Was this email peer-reviewed? Was it published in an accredited journal of chain email gags alongside the one with the promise of meeting your one true love for not breaking the chain? How can we be sure this chain email is accurate or has been researched properly. Is the chain email itself cited properly. See it all falls apart right here. How does one cite a rogue chain email without the appropriate documentation? That’s easy enough. You start your post by saying “I got this email…” or some such equivalent. Four words and it’s done. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2009, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-seen-the-future-and-this-is-it/487486/95 "2009-02-27T02:04:43Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > NThe fact of the matter is that people around here are cranked because of what I’ve said about how liberalism has fucked things up in this country. Nevermind that it was posted to counter their position that a person had to be EEVILLL to even vote for a Republican much less _be_ one; and despite the fact that worse things are said about Republicans/conservatives around here a hundred or more times a day. Well, babe, you know that we all know this is bullshit. You say what you say about liberals because you want to say it. It’s not a response to anyone who said you were evil for being a Republican, because you say to everyone and anyone who will listen, regardless of what they may or may not have said about you, Republicans, or conservatives. Your OP is my cite. > [@](#): > > No, we (conservatives) are just supposed to suck it up and not retailiate in kind because after all, liberals have goodness and light on their side. I did challenge them though and laid my cards on the table. Most of the ire in this thread is a reverberation of that, as is everyone’s eagerness to attribute my posting of the parody to plagiarism. Get off the cross. If you want to say mean things about liberals, feel free (as you do, of course). Stop making excuses and blaming other people for your urge to spew vitriol. No one is forcing you to do it, and no, “retaliation” is not mandatory. You have free will, it’s your choice, and if people dislike you for it, well, the wages of sin and all that. You’re not the victim here, you’re an active, willing participant in the give and take. So please, just drop the pretense that everything you’re saying is in self-defense. It ain’t. It’s because you like to say it. Move on. That said, your OP was lame and I don’t care if it was plagiarism. I know, you were just dying to hear what I thought of it. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2009, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-seen-the-future-and-this-is-it/487486/96 "2009-02-27T02:05:28Z")
> [@](#): > > When rock critic Jon Landau wrote, “I have seen the future of rock and roll and his name is Bruce Springsteen”, did that imply that he created Bruce Springsteen? No, but I bet what follows wasn’t written by Lester Bangs. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2009, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-seen-the-future-and-this-is-it/487486/97 "2009-02-27T02:05:42Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > I’m in general agreement with the point of the writing, but in my view, it wasn’t particularly obvious that the work was not the OP’s, and I believe the failure to offer credit by reference of some sort was a mistake. Thanks for your input. The fact that even you, a skilled wordsmith, found it unclear that I hadn’t written the OP myself is enough to convince me that my supposition was wrong. Certainly if I had it to do over again I’d mention that I received it by email. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2009, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-seen-the-future-and-this-is-it/487486/98 "2009-02-27T02:17:20Z")
Glad to see your last post. That’s exactly the kind of statement that I think you should’ve made originally. (Well, a “sorry, guys” would be appropriate, especially given the sneering contempt you’ve shown those who took umbrage at your failure). Had you made it, I would’ve had no problem with you. As it is, excepting only the lack of an apology, I think you’ve made right. “Go and sin no more.”–some hippie peacenik dude ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2009, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-seen-the-future-and-this-is-it/487486/99 "2009-02-27T02:21:59Z")
Lazy? The dreadful sin of Sloth! Well, why didn’t you say so, my Calvinist catechism is quite stern on the subject of laziness. But where does this theme come in? Most of the referenced screed, both the original and the updated Ver. 2.0, is about persons with no particular talent or ability. Perhaps it is implied? Yes, that must be why the file clerk is updated to an auto worker. They are largely unionized, and everybody knows about union workers, don’t they? I don’t see any focus on laziness, I see a focus on dull normality, the vast ocean of us with no particular skills or talents. (Personally, I think quite the opposite, that many of us have talents and capacities we haven’t the opportunity to explore, but my opinion on that is as entirely unsupportable as your own…) At any rate, before we examine your thesis further, could you point out for us where “laziness” is the primary theme here? Not seeing it. ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2009, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-seen-the-future-and-this-is-it/487486/100 "2009-02-27T02:22:17Z")
Gosh, that Patricia Heaton is a cunt. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-seen-the-future-and-this-is-it/487486.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-seen-the-future-and-this-is-it/487486.md?page=6)