# I've Traded Pwincess Pwecious for The Shrieking Fashion Harpy **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 11, 2004, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-traded-pwincess-pwecious-for-the-shrieking-fashion-harpy/244656 "2004-05-11T17:58:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2004, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-traded-pwincess-pwecious-for-the-shrieking-fashion-harpy/244656/1 "2004-05-11T17:58:01Z")
Well, as you recall from our last installment, I have moved to another rat-hole across the office, far, far, fwom the babbling, baby-talking Pwincess Precious. It’s a smaller rat-hole, but it has a _window_, and I can do “minimalist.” Now I am coming to realize that this side of the office has its own brand of vermin: The Shrieking Fashion Harpy, apparently the unnatural daughter of Ethel Merman and a fingernail on a blackboard. She’s our Very Important Stylist, who makes sure all the clothes for the fashion shoots come in, lines them up on clothing racks (completely blocking the hallway) and coordinates them, so the hideous plaid capris are next to the bilious green tankinis. She strides up and down the hall, screaming, “Is this Jimmy Choo? I SAID I WANTED CHA-CHA HEELS, DAMMIT! THESE AREN’T CHA-CHA HEELS!! I HATE YOU PEOPLE!!!” I am beginning to miss the Kingdom of the Pwecious . . . ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2004, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-traded-pwincess-pwecious-for-the-shrieking-fashion-harpy/244656/2 "2004-05-11T18:00:14Z")
Hey, it’s publishing, what do you want? Every time you get irritate just think of me with sympathy. I’m currently working for a bird watching magazine and our artists keep leaving dead birds in the refrigerators (not always in baggies! :eek: ) for later study. That’s **really** appetizing, let me tell you. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2004, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-traded-pwincess-pwecious-for-the-shrieking-fashion-harpy/244656/3 "2004-05-11T18:02:05Z")
[Vizzini] “Do you know what those are, Princess? Those are the Shrieking Fashion Harpies! If you swim back now, no harm will come to you. I doubt you’ll get the same promise from the Harpies.” [/Vizzini] ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2004, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-traded-pwincess-pwecious-for-the-shrieking-fashion-harpy/244656/4 "2004-05-11T18:45:27Z")
> [@Jonathan Chance](#): > > I’m currently working for a bird watching magazine and our artists keep leaving dead birds in the refrigerators (not always in baggies! :eek: ) for later study. Ugh…people do that at my job all the time too. Every time I open the fridge, someone has left another dead bird in there. Usually they’re all chopped up, too. Slices of chicken…chunks of turkey…sick, I tell you, just sick. What? ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2004, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-traded-pwincess-pwecious-for-the-shrieking-fashion-harpy/244656/5 "2004-05-11T18:47:41Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > She strides up and down the hall, screaming, “Is this Jimmy Choo? I SAID I WANTED CHA-CHA HEELS, DAMMIT! THESE AREN’T CHA-CHA HEELS!! I HATE YOU PEOPLE!!!” Please keep a tape recorder on her at all times. One of these days she’s going to mess up and shriek for “choo-choo heels,” and you will be able to tell British _Vogue_ about how you were _there_ when a new fashion trend was born. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2004, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-traded-pwincess-pwecious-for-the-shrieking-fashion-harpy/244656/6 "2004-05-11T18:58:51Z")
> [@Jonathan Chance](#): > > I’m currently working for a bird watching magazine and our artists keep leaving dead birds in the refrigerators (not always in baggies! :eek: ) for later study. Feh—_I_ keep finding dead fashion models in the refrigerator. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2004, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-traded-pwincess-pwecious-for-the-shrieking-fashion-harpy/244656/7 "2004-05-11T19:02:57Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > …and I can do “minimalist.” Ugh! Now you’re going to start quoting Baudrillard, aren’t you? Stick with Spartan, and then Shrieking Fashion Harpy—Singing-Avian Fashionista?—won’t be able to complain when you stick a spear through her head. If your next move puts you in a department with the make-up editor known as the Khmer Rouge, well…let’s not think about that. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2004, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-traded-pwincess-pwecious-for-the-shrieking-fashion-harpy/244656/8 "2004-05-11T19:05:32Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > Feh—_I_ keep finding dead fashion models in the refrigerator. In 20 years, we’ll have the technology to revive them. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2004, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-traded-pwincess-pwecious-for-the-shrieking-fashion-harpy/244656/9 "2004-05-11T19:38:16Z")
> [@Jonathan Chance](#): > > Hey, it’s publishing, what do you want? > > Every time you get irritate just think of me with sympathy. I’m currently working for a bird watching magazine and our artists keep leaving dead birds in the refrigerators (not always in baggies! :eek: ) for later study. > > That’s **really** appetizing, let me tell you. :smack: Thanks for reminding me! I’d better go get that specimen out of the lunch room fridge before someone figures out what it is! ---
**Author:** ![Tikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5daacb/32.png) [@Tikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tikki)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2004, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-traded-pwincess-pwecious-for-the-shrieking-fashion-harpy/244656/10 "2004-05-11T19:48:13Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > Feh—_I_ keep finding dead fashion models in the refrigerator. No, they only appear dead because they’re anorexic and are trying to survive on food fumes alone. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2004, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-traded-pwincess-pwecious-for-the-shrieking-fashion-harpy/244656/11 "2004-05-11T20:25:30Z")
Two questions: Would it be feasible to get eawpwugs, er, earplugs? I’m sure you could find some elegant ones that coordinate with the lorgnette. They might even make a matching cattle prod–electrified, it’s a deterrent to the Harpy and non-electrified, it shoves racks of repulsive clothing out of your way. Also, what are cha-cha heels? (Yes, I’m pretty fashion-clueless. Yes, they’re going to revoke my vagina pretty soon if I keep on like this. I already had to give up the ovaries and uterus in penance for my power tool obsession.) ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2004, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-traded-pwincess-pwecious-for-the-shrieking-fashion-harpy/244656/12 "2004-05-11T22:46:21Z")
> [@Eats\_Crayons](#): > > In 20 years, we’ll have the technology to revive them. It’s already here. It’s called **food** 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2004, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-traded-pwincess-pwecious-for-the-shrieking-fashion-harpy/244656/13 "2004-05-11T23:01:35Z")
> [@detop](#): > > It’s already here. It’s called **food** 😃 Ya know, I had a brief moment of 😕 thinking that you were talking about making them into human enchilada’s or something. Then I got the joke. The fact that it took more more than an instant means that it’s time for me to get a good night’s sleep, 'cause that was pretty funny. :smack: I’ve been working too hard. ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2004, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-traded-pwincess-pwecious-for-the-shrieking-fashion-harpy/244656/14 "2004-05-11T23:05:16Z")
Sleep well **Eats\_Crayons** 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2004, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-traded-pwincess-pwecious-for-the-shrieking-fashion-harpy/244656/15 "2004-05-11T23:23:23Z")
> [@Sauron](#): > > [Vizzini] > “Do you know what those are, Pwincess? Those are the Shrieking Fashion Harpies! If you swim back now, no harm will come to you. I doubt you’ll get the same promise from the Harpies.” > [/Vizzini] You had a typo. I had to fix it. “Inconcwevable!” ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2004, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-traded-pwincess-pwecious-for-the-shrieking-fashion-harpy/244656/16 "2004-05-11T23:45:19Z")
> [@](#): > > Also, what are cha-cha heels? (Yes, I’m pretty fashion-clueless. Yes, they’re going to revoke my vagina pretty soon if I keep on like this. I already had to give up the ovaries and uterus in penance for my power tool obsession.) They can revoke your vagina? I would hope this would be with some kind of medication. Like Ben & Jerry’s. Seriously, though, I don’t know what cha-cha heels are either. Maybe my vagina is obselete. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2004, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-traded-pwincess-pwecious-for-the-shrieking-fashion-harpy/244656/17 "2004-05-11T23:52:30Z")
[Cha-cha heels](http://www.mybabyjo.com/shoes/chacha.htm) Not sure how (or if) they differ from fuck-me pumps. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-traded-pwincess-pwecious-for-the-shrieking-fashion-harpy/244656/18 "2004-05-12T00:06:37Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > [Cha-cha heels](http://www.mybabyjo.com/shoes/chacha.htm) > > Not sure how (or if) they differ from fuck-me pumps. Yes, leave it to a gay man to explain the finer points of fashion footwear. 😃 **Otto** , you’re the greatest! ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-traded-pwincess-pwecious-for-the-shrieking-fashion-harpy/244656/19 "2004-05-12T00:38:06Z")
The shoes shown in **Otto** ’s link are actually fuck-me pumps (ankle-strap high-heels) _with_ cha-cha heels (also called “Sabrina” heels, they’re not too high, with a Louis or corset shape). The tirade was from Divine’s greatest role, Dawn Davenport in _Female Trouble_, a girl who goes wrong because she doesn’t get cha-cha heels for Christmas. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-traded-pwincess-pwecious-for-the-shrieking-fashion-harpy/244656/20 "2004-05-12T01:02:49Z")
Whoa! Scrolling past sequential thread titles, I misread and thought it said “Shrieking Fashion Harpy is on fire!!!” For a minute there, I thought, “Cool.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-traded-pwincess-pwecious-for-the-shrieking-fashion-harpy/244656.md?page=2)