# J-E-T-S! Flaming! Lesbian! Catfight!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-e-t-s-flaming-lesbian-catfight/481421
**Category:** The Game Room
**Created:** [January 15, 2009, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-e-t-s-flaming-lesbian-catfight/481421 "2009-01-15T14:16:11Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2009, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-e-t-s-flaming-lesbian-catfight/481421/1 "2009-01-15T14:16:11Z")
The daughter of the owner of the NY Jets had her hair set on fire in a catfight with her lesbian girlfriend.
> **[The New York Jets And The Flaming Lesbian Catfight](https://deadspin.com/the-new-york-jets-and-the-flaming-lesbian-catfight-5131346)**
>
> Poor Woody Johnson. The Jets' owner has watched recently as his team capitulated, his quarterback underachieved, and his daughter had her hair set on fire by her lesbian girlfriend. Wait, what?
Um…wow. Interesting. It’s a shame this couldn’t have happened before a Jets-Pats game just to see what the Pat’s fans could come up with for signs. Does this bode well for the resolution of the Favre situation? The upcoming draft? Good times.
---
### Author:  [@Jimmy\_Joe\_Meager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Joe_Meager)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2009, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-e-t-s-flaming-lesbian-catfight/481421/2 "2009-01-15T14:32:05Z")
This must be a fake story. Everybody knows only men commit domestic violence.
---
### Author:  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2009, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-e-t-s-flaming-lesbian-catfight/481421/3 "2009-01-15T14:32:23Z")
I wish this had happened during the season. It’s more interesting than Favre’s retirement waffling, and the anouncers, and listening to the TV analysts try and discuss this turmoil with euphemisms and politeness would have been high comedy.
---
### Author:  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2009, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-e-t-s-flaming-lesbian-catfight/481421/4 "2009-01-15T16:09:37Z")
> [@Jimmy\_Joe\_Meager](#):
>
> This must be a fake story. Everybody knows only men commit domestic violence.
Does _everything_ have be turned into a political potshot- and one that’s aimed at nobody? How can you take a story like this seriously enough to try to make a political point about it?
---
### Author:  [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2009, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-e-t-s-flaming-lesbian-catfight/481421/5 "2009-01-15T16:32:20Z")
That’s got to be some sort of new threat I haven’t heard about yet,
“Don’t make me come over there and set your hair on fire!”
---
### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2009, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-e-t-s-flaming-lesbian-catfight/481421/6 "2009-01-15T17:02:42Z")
Okay, I’m a nerd who doesn’t know jack about football. That’s already on record.
But I don’t get how this is supposed to be funny. Change the gender of the offender and nobody would be laughing.
---
### Author:  [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2009, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-e-t-s-flaming-lesbian-catfight/481421/7 "2009-01-15T17:09:13Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#):
>
> Change the gender of the offender and nobody would be laughing.
Well, duh.
---
### Author:  [@storyteller0910](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/storyteller0910)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2009, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-e-t-s-flaming-lesbian-catfight/481421/8 "2009-01-15T17:18:45Z")
Also, **Skald,** the Jets are intrinsically funny. The humor in this situation comes at least 50% from the fact that it happened to the daughter of the _Jets_ owner, specifically.
---
### Author:  [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2009, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-e-t-s-flaming-lesbian-catfight/481421/9 "2009-01-15T17:23:36Z")
> [@storyteller0910](#):
>
> Also, **Skald,** the Jets are intrinsically funny. The humor in this situation comes at least 50% from the fact that it happened to the daughter of the _Jets_ owner, specifically.
I would argue that 100% of the humor comes from it being the Jets. However 100% of the sexiness comes from the lesbian catfight.
---
### Author:  [@storyteller0910](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/storyteller0910)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2009, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-e-t-s-flaming-lesbian-catfight/481421/10 "2009-01-15T17:25:34Z")
> [@Omniscient](#):
>
> I would argue that 100% of the humor comes from it being the Jets. However 100% of the sexiness comes from the lesbian catfight.
Yeah. This never happens to like, the Bears or the Browns.
Question for discussion: would it have been funnier if it had happened to the daughter of the _Bengals’_ owner? Or not?
---
### Author:  [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2009, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-e-t-s-flaming-lesbian-catfight/481421/11 "2009-01-15T17:29:15Z")
The Bengals are pathetic, not funny.
---
### Author:  [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2009, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-e-t-s-flaming-lesbian-catfight/481421/12 "2009-01-15T17:30:50Z")
> [@storyteller0910](#):
>
> Yeah. This never happens to like, the Bears or the Browns.
Yikes…now I have to cleanse the image of Virginia McCaskey having a lesbian catfight from my brain, thanks.
> [@](#):
>
> Question for discussion: would it have been funnier if it had happened to the daughter of the _Bengals’_ owner? Or not?
Clearly, if the daughter of the Bengals owner had been involved she would have been the aggressor. That would have been funnier.
---
### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2009, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-e-t-s-flaming-lesbian-catfight/481421/13 "2009-01-15T17:33:31Z")
> [@storyteller0910](#):
>
> Also, **Skald,** the Jets are intrinsically funny. The humor in this situation comes at least 50% from the fact that it happened to the daughter of the _Jets_ owner, specifically.
Because…?
I’m not being snarky at this point. What’s so odious or humorous about them?
[QUOTE=Omniscient]
100% of the sexiness comes from the lesbian catfight.
[/QUOTE]
Catfights are only sexy in the movies. Given that this involved HAIR BEING SET ON FIRE, I’m pertty sure at no point did the fighting morph into kissing. Also, it seems less a fight than an assault.
---
### Author:  [@storyteller0910](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/storyteller0910)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2009, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-e-t-s-flaming-lesbian-catfight/481421/14 "2009-01-15T17:36:52Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#):
>
> Because…?
>
> I’m not being snarky at this point. What’s so odious or humorous about them?
I’m not sure I can articulate this properly, but I’ll try. The Jets are the football equivalent of Job. If some bizarre, inexplicable weirdly unpleasant thing can happen to a football team, it’s probably going to happen to the Jets. This is a team that had its head coach “retire” and hand the reins of the team over to his carefully groomed and handpicked successor, only to have said successor leave after _one day_ on the job and coach the team’s primary rival to multiple championships. Its a team that loses in increasing improbable ways, that is snakebit.
Put simply, it’s funny because if you had said: “Team owner’s daughter involved in lesbian fighting with bonus pyromania” without naming the team or even the _sport_, I’d have guessed “Jets” without a second thought.
I don’t know if I can do better than that.
---
### Author:  [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2009, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-e-t-s-flaming-lesbian-catfight/481421/15 "2009-01-15T17:56:57Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#):
>
> Catfights are only sexy in the movies. Given that this involved HAIR BEING SET ON FIRE, I’m pertty sure at no point did the fighting morph into kissing. Also, it seems less a fight than an assault.
Maybe you can take the threadshitting over [here.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=501822) You know, be equitable.
---
### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2009, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-e-t-s-flaming-lesbian-catfight/481421/16 "2009-01-15T18:12:52Z")
> [@Omniscient](#):
>
> Maybe you can take the threadshitting over [here.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=501822) You know, be equitable.
It wasn’t my intent to threadshit, and all I’ve done is comment on the EXACT TOPIC of the thread. It seems odd to me to chortle over such a matter. I’ll concede that, if the incident referred to had happened in a movie or television show, it could easily be amusing. But I read the article you linked to in the OP, and it seems only to describe a criminal attack made amusing only by the fact that it seems to fit certain fantasies, and would not be thought funny if a man had done the exact same thing.
But I’m certain I’ve started more than my own share of threads that others thought questionable, so I’ll cease my implicit criticism of this own.
---
### Author:  [@Jimmy\_Joe\_Meager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Joe_Meager)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2009, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-e-t-s-flaming-lesbian-catfight/481421/17 "2009-01-15T18:18:07Z")
> [@Marley23](#):
>
> Does _everything_ have be turned into a political potshot- and one that’s aimed at nobody?
I’m not the only one here with a particular cause celebre, political viewpoint, or “agenda” which we take the opportunity to promote even in threads not dedicated to that particular topic. Some people can’t, or simply don’t, post without interjecting their particular pet peeve: politics, religion, taxation, whatever.
Many Dopers who think they don’t fall into this category will still take the opportunity to post off-topic replies when they find it necessary to comment on, or promote, a particular viewpoint (e.g. racism – pointing out a comment they feel to be racist, even in a thread not dedicated to racism). Is posting off-topic against the rules? (\*\*Skald the Rhymer \*\*is doing it here, and I wholeheartedly agree.)
My particular pet peeve is the negative portrayal of men in the mass media. Specifically, but not limited to, the portrayal of domestic violence as only being perpetrated by men. Inversely correlated is the downplaying, even making light of, domestic violence perpetrated by women.
Marley23, storyteller0910, and Omniscient – you stink. And I pit you.
---
### Author:  [@Borborygmi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Borborygmi)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2009, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-e-t-s-flaming-lesbian-catfight/481421/18 "2009-01-15T18:19:05Z")
[[Blatently](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=500444#post10654555) [stealing](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=500777#post10664500) from Doper **MOIDALIZE** ]
Favre? Did somebody say something about Brett Favre? BrettFavreBrettFavreBrettFavre?
[/BsfD **M**]
(I’m assuming **MOIDALIZE** doesn’t want to overuse the bit, but I say it’s only funnier the more threads even tangentially related to football that it gets used in.)
---
### Author:  [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2009, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-e-t-s-flaming-lesbian-catfight/481421/19 "2009-01-15T18:19:13Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#):
>
> But I read the article you linked to in the OP, and it seems only to describe a criminal attack made amusing only by the fact that it seems to fit certain fantasies, and would not be thought funny if a man had done the exact same thing.
I disagree I think that a guy setting another guy’s hair on fire in a lovers quarrel would be equally funny especially if there was no damage done other then needing a new hair style.
---
### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2009, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-e-t-s-flaming-lesbian-catfight/481421/20 "2009-01-15T18:22:50Z")
Reading Jimmy’s last response moves me to decide that I _was_ threadshitting–not by bringing up the point, but by keeping at it. Sorry guys.
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-e-t-s-flaming-lesbian-catfight/481421.md?page=2)