# J. K. Rowling Is Polluting Childrens' Minds! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 15, 2001, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-k-rowling-is-polluting-childrens-minds/68959 "2001-06-15T17:42:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![pluto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f08c70/32.png) [@pluto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pluto)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2001, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-k-rowling-is-polluting-childrens-minds/68959/1 "2001-06-15T17:42:47Z")
The notorious British propagandist J. K. Rowling, author of the infamous Harry Potter (if that’s his _real_ name) books, has long waged an insidious campaign of deception and mind control targetted at our youngest and most vulnerable citizens. It is time someone put a stop to this. The latest example, gleaned from a careful study of these offensive works, is this: When the wizards in the book stun someone with a _Stupefy!_ charm, they awaken them with an _Ennervate!_ charm! BUT – **“enervate” does not mean to make someone more alert – it means to make them weaker, to rob them of vigor!** (or _vigour_, as the crafty Rowling would probably misspell it!) Now thousands of school children will think that “enervate” is synonymous with “energize” when it is in fact nearly its opposite. How can our children withstand such a determined and duplicitous onslaught on their frail little minds? That’s it! No more! Ban the books! Ban the action figures! Ban the movie! Ban the collector’s items! While we’re at it, ban the whole toy industry! And McDonalds! And Starbucks! And British beef! Is there anyone I left out that I should have included? Oh yeah (hijacking his own thread, before it even gets started) – Ban the LOTR movie too (another British propaganda onslaught)! Neve Campbell! What were they thinking? ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2001, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-k-rowling-is-polluting-childrens-minds/68959/2 "2001-06-15T18:05:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pluto \* > Is there anyone I left out that I should have included? > \* Laura Schlessinger? What? No, I know she doesn’t have anything to do with Harry Potter, I just want her banned. Well you _asked._ ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2001, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-k-rowling-is-polluting-childrens-minds/68959/3 "2001-06-15T19:27:37Z")
> [@](#): > > Oh yeah (hijacking his own thread, before it even gets started) – Ban the LOTR movie too (another British propaganda onslaught)! Neve Campbell! What were they thinking? Um, while Neve is hot as all get out, she’s not in the movie. Maybe you’re thinking of Liv Tyler. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2001, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-k-rowling-is-polluting-childrens-minds/68959/4 "2001-06-15T19:45:10Z")
hey, isn’t Neve Campbell Frodo? and Freddie Prinze Jr. is Gandalf, with the gang from American Pie as the dark riders, and Sarah Michelle Geller as Tom, and Jar Jar Binks as Bilbo! ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2001, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-k-rowling-is-polluting-childrens-minds/68959/5 "2001-06-15T20:19:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pluto \* > \*\*That’s it! No more! Ban the books! Ban the action figures! Ban the movie! Ban the collector’s items! While we’re at it, ban the whole toy industry! And McDonalds! And Starbucks! And British beef! > \*\* No offence pluto, but I think you are barking up the wrong tree. Why on earth would you want to ban one of the very few things that actually encourages children to read? You’d be better off buying the kid a good dictionary to go along with the books. That would teach them to read, research and realize that not everything they read is automatically true. ---
**Author:** ![Brunetter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/839c29/32.png) [@Brunetter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brunetter)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2001, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-k-rowling-is-polluting-childrens-minds/68959/6 "2001-06-15T23:02:01Z")
I find these last two posts to be endlessly amusing. So there! You rock, adam yax! ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2001, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-k-rowling-is-polluting-childrens-minds/68959/7 "2001-06-16T00:11:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by adam yax \* > \*\*That would teach them to read, research and realize that not everything they read is automatically true. \*\* Cite please. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2001, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-k-rowling-is-polluting-childrens-minds/68959/8 "2001-06-16T00:18:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pluto \* > Now thousands of school children will think that “enervate” is synonymous with “energize” when it is in fact nearly its opposite. How can our children withstand such a determined and duplicitous onslaught on their frail little minds? Yes, and what about “flammable” and “inflammable”! > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pluto \* > Neve Campbell! What were they thinking? Well I don’t know what they were thinking. But I know what I’m thinking. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2001, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-k-rowling-is-polluting-childrens-minds/68959/9 "2001-06-16T00:18:52Z")
Yeah, adam, it sure didn’t work for me! I want to go to Hogwarts someday, and meet Luke Skywalker and Captain Kirk!! ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2001, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-k-rowling-is-polluting-childrens-minds/68959/10 "2001-06-16T00:32:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pluto \* > \*\*The notorious British propagandist J. K. Rowling, author of the infamous Harry Potter (if that’s his _real_ name) \*\* I thought I’d just hop in to correct this and inform the thread that J.K. Rowling is [female](http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/1999/03/cov_31featureb.html). ---
**Author:** ![Jeannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@Jeannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeannie)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2001, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-k-rowling-is-polluting-childrens-minds/68959/11 "2001-06-16T03:15:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by pluto \* > > \*\*The notorious British propagandist J. K. Rowling, author of the infamous Harry Potter (if that’s his _real_ name) \*\* > > I thought I’d just hop in to correct this and inform the thread that J.K. Rowling is [female](http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/1999/03/cov_31featureb.html). > \*\* I could be wrong, but I took that line to mean “If that is his (Harry Potter’s) real name.” I didn’t think it referred to the author. ---
**Author:** ![urban1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d07c76/32.png) [@urban1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/urban1)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2001, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-k-rowling-is-polluting-childrens-minds/68959/12 "2001-06-16T22:23:20Z")
> [@](#): > > No offence pluto, but I think you are barking up the wrong tree. Why on earth would you want to ban one of the very few things that actually encourages children to read? You’d be better off buying the kid a good dictionary to go along with the books. That would teach them to read, research and realize that not everything they read is automatically true. The OP is a joke, Adam. ---
**Author:** ![saepiroth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@saepiroth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saepiroth)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2001, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-k-rowling-is-polluting-childrens-minds/68959/13 "2001-06-16T23:16:23Z")
i thought adam was making a joke too. he was, wasn’t he? ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2001, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-k-rowling-is-polluting-childrens-minds/68959/14 "2001-06-17T01:20:02Z")
When is the next book coming out!?!?! Jeez I **need** to see what next to Harry Ron and that chick whose name can not be pronounced. Do you think there will be a plot to kill Harry in the next book? Do you think that someone the kids think is their new friend is actually their enemy? Do you think that someone that the kids think is their enemy will turn out to be their friend and give them a helping hand at a crucial time? Oh and FTR I never want an action figure made of me. Why? Because somewhere, someone will stick mini-me up their butt for sexual gratification. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2001, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/j-k-rowling-is-polluting-childrens-minds/68959/15 "2001-06-17T01:44:31Z")
J K Rowling has said that she’s plotted the whole series already (I think there are going to be 7 in all).