# Jack-ass Dean Tyler **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 29, 2000, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-ass-dean-tyler/38856 "2000-10-29T23:51:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2000, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-ass-dean-tyler/38856/121 "2000-11-13T20:22:36Z")
Er, um, er… where’s that ‘backpedal’ button? Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2000, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-ass-dean-tyler/38856/122 "2000-11-13T20:43:24Z")
Oh my lord…ROFL. Well, since matt won’t attack me for it…oh Esprix darling??? 😉 😃 ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2000, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-ass-dean-tyler/38856/123 "2000-11-13T21:23:13Z")
Great, ignored again. While **Falcon** and **Matt** are enjoying **Esprix’s** undying love, who gets left out of the love equation? Me. Hmmph! Goboy, The Invisible Man of the SDMB. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-ass-dean-tyler/38856/124 "2000-11-14T00:02:07Z")
Well, Matt and Esprix, I for one hope for his sake that he’s gay, because he is seriously misinformed about the sexual practices and desires of women. In fact, he has his head so far up his ass on _that_ subject, he could probably use his own teeth for a TugAhoy. You gay guys are his only hope. Well, not _you_ personally, because you’re, y’know, _smart_. What he needs is gay and dumb. And reeeaaaalllly patient. ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-ass-dean-tyler/38856/125 "2000-11-14T00:05:11Z")
Check out his response in [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=46423) thread. He can’t be for real, can he? I’m scared. Somebody please hold me. ---
**Author:** ![tiggeril](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggeril/32/7234_2.png) [@tiggeril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiggeril)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-ass-dean-tyler/38856/126 "2000-11-14T00:13:21Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Esprix \* > \*\* (Good call, too, **tiggeril**!)_\* ::scuffs high-heeled, leopard-print, marabou-feathered mule:: Aw, shucks… ---
**Author:** ![Lemming](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ccd318/32.png) [@Lemming](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemming)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-ass-dean-tyler/38856/127 "2000-11-14T01:18:47Z")
I’ve been reading pretty much everything in every forum for quite a long time (check my registration date if you don’t believe me) and for once I feel compelled to comment on the vast repository of idiocy that is Jack Dean Tyler. Frankly, after reading several of his posts, I feel the urge to convey my wishes that he just get the hell off this board, and preferably out of the gene pool in a Darwin Award-winning manner. How can this man possibly attach so much importance to the status of his penis? Does he have nothing better to do than describe his views to us on the proper way to pleasure the opposite sex, how to restore one’s “uncut” manhood with Tug-Ahoy, and regale us with poetry about how he hates the doctor that circumcised him? Does this man have a life? Does he think that anyone attaches any particular significance to his unsubstantiated “straw man” arguments, which he only occasionally backs up with heavily-biased single sources? Jack Dean Tyler, your public awaits. Answer these simple questions without mentioning how angry you are that you were circumcised, if you think you can. Otherwise, don’t post crap you don’t know–that’s why my post count is so low. Follow a decent example! I just want to convey my personal wishes (and possibly those of all the others on this board) that all of your fingers fall off while typing the reply, as well as (possibly) your much-described unit. One pissed-off lurker weighing in. ---
**Author:** ![Primaflora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Primaflora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Primaflora)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-ass-dean-tyler/38856/128 "2000-11-14T06:56:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by porcupine \* > \*\*Check out his response in [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=46423) thread. He can’t be for real, can he? I’m scared. Somebody please hold me. \*\* I think he is one seriously fucked up dude and I think he is trolling the boards to get masturbatory fodder. For a while I was thinking he was gay but I now think he is hetero and _seriously_ perverted. He’s getting off on the sexual details he’s managing to get people to share. He’s a repulsive little wart on the underside of life and I am deeply grateful that I live a world away from him. ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-ass-dean-tyler/38856/129 "2000-11-14T07:30:55Z")
JDT is a dickhead. How’s that for abrupt and honest? ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-ass-dean-tyler/38856/130 "2000-11-14T15:29:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > **Well, you got one right - I’m just turned 32.** You’re _32_ also??? I thought you were about 20 or so, since I thought you wrote recently that you were still living with your parents? Jesus. You’re old, like me. You should feel lucky you can still act so young. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-ass-dean-tyler/38856/131 "2000-11-14T16:03:42Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **Anthracite** _ > > You’re _32_ also??? I thought you were about 20 or so, since I thought you wrote recently that you were still living with your parents? > > Jesus. You’re old, like me. You should feel lucky you can still act so young. I am still living at home with the 'rents - why the hell do you think I’m moving to San Diego?!?! 😃 And my father has taught me well on how to act young. My sister always delights in the fact that her children know where to go to get costumes, toys, etc. - weird Uncle Esprix! 😃 Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-ass-dean-tyler/38856/132 "2000-11-14T16:11:14Z")
Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there are a lot of 32 year-olds on this board. In fact, the last 3 posters to this thread are 32… ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-ass-dean-tyler/38856/133 "2000-11-14T16:22:26Z")
Hmmm, we haven’t heard from our blessed St. **Jack** in a few. Whatsamatter, **Jack** - mohl got your tongue? Me, I’m just going to sit back and dream of the day when I, too, can have the unabashed maniacal joy of mutilating my newborn son so he can grow up just like his dear ol’ dad… Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-ass-dean-tyler/38856/134 "2000-11-14T17:17:46Z")
I don’t think we should be too hard on JDT. I mean, imagine that you live in a society which systematically mutilates genitals and denies entire generations the possibility of sexual pleasure, a crime worse than murder or rape. Imagine that you’re one of the few people who can see through the propaganda, and understands the magnitude of the injustice that is being perpetuated thousands of times a day. Could you stay silent? No! You would have a _moral_ obligation as a living, feeling being to go to your computer, log on to AOL, and post message after message to the SDMB, explaining how the _only_ proper way to stimulate a woman’s nipples is to suck really, really hard on her whole breast. It’s time someone had the courage to fight injustice at its source. (cue stirring music) Bravo, Jack Dean Tyler! Bravo! ::tears slowly slip down Giraffe’s cheek:: ---
**Author:** ![tiggeril](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggeril/32/7234_2.png) [@tiggeril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiggeril)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2000, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-ass-dean-tyler/38856/135 "2000-11-14T22:24:41Z")
Let me just pop in again to say that you would make one kick-ass uncle, Esprix. Hmmm. Uncle Esprix and Aunt Anthracite… more additions to my online family… ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Dean\_Tyler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/46a35a/32.png) [@Jack\_Dean\_Tyler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Dean_Tyler)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2000, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-ass-dean-tyler/38856/136 "2000-11-15T02:13:32Z")
\>. Let me just pop in again to say that you would make one kick-ass uncle, Esprix. Hmmm. Uncle Esprix and Aunt Anthracite… more additions to my online family…\< ``` Yeah, Uncle Esprix. Rhymes with Uncle Ernie. <hyperventilating> Fiddle about, fiddle about, let me cut your foreskin out. ``` ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2000, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-ass-dean-tyler/38856/137 "2000-11-15T03:29:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jack Dean Tyler \* > \*\*\>. Let me just pop in again to say that you would make one kick-ass uncle, Esprix. Hmmm. Uncle Esprix and Aunt Anthracite… more additions to my online family…\< > > ``` > Yeah, Uncle Esprix. Rhymes with Uncle Ernie. <hyperventilating> Fiddle about, fiddle about, let me cut your foreskin out. > > ``` > > \*\* What the fuck does that mean?? I would like to hereby nominate the above statement as The Official Mantra Of People Reading Jack Dean Tyler (TOMOPRJDT). ---
**Author:** ![tiggeril](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggeril/32/7234_2.png) [@tiggeril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiggeril)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2000, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-ass-dean-tyler/38856/138 "2000-11-15T04:40:05Z")
hmmm. Perhaps repressed Sesame Street-related phobias? “Ernie?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Or perhaps “Uncle Ernie” is to blame for many of Jackie-boy’s little “quirks.” ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2000, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-ass-dean-tyler/38856/139 "2000-11-15T04:58:52Z")
No no no! Not _that_ Ernie! He’s talking about Wicked Uncle Ernie from The Who’s _Tommy_. You know the song: I’m your wicked Uncle Ernie I’m glad you won’t see or hear me As I fiddle about. Fiddle about. Your mother left me here to mind you, But I’m gonna circumcize you As I fiddle about. Fiddle about. Didn’t you know that Keith Moon was part of the Jewish conspiracy? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@The\_Tim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tim)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2000, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-ass-dean-tyler/38856/140 "2000-11-15T07:37:56Z")
I feel the need to post some of the anagrams of foreskin (apox upon whom ever gave me the link to the anagram generator, its consuming a lot of my time): Sore Fink Fern is ok Frisk One Sir Ken of Sine Fork Its clear that the foreskin hasn’t been researched enough. Otherwise we’d know what Sir Ken was of. These evidence prooves that a conspiracy exists to keep the foreskin’s magic powers from being fully understood. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-ass-dean-tyler/38856.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-ass-dean-tyler/38856.md?page=8)