# Jack Bauer; the Buddy Cop Movie/series... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 28, 2006, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-the-buddy-cop-movie-series/350206 "2006-03-28T04:41:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-the-buddy-cop-movie-series/350206/1 "2006-03-28T04:41:38Z")
I’m getting into 24, watching previous seasons on Fox Sunday, and on Monday (the problem is that 24 reruns really don’t have the tension when they were first aired, after all, we’re in, what, season 5 now, it’s _obvious_ the nuclear bomb set to blow in S2 won’t succeed, otherwise, we’d be seeing reprocussions of it in this season… anyway, i got to thinking if the character of Jack Bauer was to leave CTU and work as, oh lets say, a cop on a big city police force, and still retain all his gun-happy hyperviolent, shouty charm, who would be a good partner to pair him up with? a couple that spring to mind is “Dirty” Harry Callahan, Clint Eastwood and Kiefer Sutherland both as hard-boiled, shoot-first-ask-questions-later cops, the criminals would be running scared… although, i think the _BEST_ partner for Jack, would be Inspector Sledge Hammer… they’d get along great, both have very complimentary “interrogation” styles, the same “criminals don’t have rights” philosophy… hmm, maybe Jack Bauer and Sledge _ARE_ related, tell me, has Jack ever talked to his gun?.. if Sledge and Jack partnered up, i’d feel really sorry for Capt. Trunk… Who would you see Jack Bauer partnering up with? ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-the-buddy-cop-movie-series/350206/2 "2006-03-28T05:17:38Z")
Monk (Tony Shalhoub) ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-the-buddy-cop-movie-series/350206/3 "2006-03-28T06:03:40Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Monk (Tony Shalhoub) I would love to see this. It’s the perfect “Odd Couple” situation. Another good possible teamup: Chief Wiggum from _The Simpsons_. Jack is very threatening, good with a gun, and always gets the job done. Chief Wiggum…well, he uses his gun to open walnuts, and he once put out an APB for a “suspect driving a red…car, heading in the direction of…you know, that place that sells tacos. Suspect is hatless- I repeat, hatless!” The perfect “Good Cop, Bad Cop” situation…or in this case, “Good Cop, Completely Incompetent Cop.” ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 8:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-the-buddy-cop-movie-series/350206/4 "2006-03-28T08:39:09Z")
I’d like to see Jack travel to Europe on a sort of Interpol exchange program – and team up with Lord Peter Wimsey. Jack could do the shouting, eye-gauging, and electrodes-applying, while Lord Peter stood by and delivered charmingly ironic faux-apologetic patter. Of course, Lord Peter would also serve the same dramatic function as a Chloe, relying on his encyclopaedic knowledge of arcane minutea to quickly supply Jack with exactly the information that he needs to precisely locate the next neck that needs breaking, render a chemical countermeasure harmless, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-the-buddy-cop-movie-series/350206/5 "2006-03-28T18:55:10Z")
Team him up with Constable Benton Fraser, no doubt on the trail of a dangerous band of Quebecois Nationalists trying to orchestrate a war between the US and Canada or something. Anything that Bauer can’t get through force or intimidation, Fraser can get through politely asking, plus he can track people by tasting things on the ground and noting tiny details like a supposed high-class clothing salesman having a hole in his shoe. Failing that, Ace Ventura. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-the-buddy-cop-movie-series/350206/6 "2006-03-28T19:08:54Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Monk (Tony Shalhoub) I second, er, third Monk. Jack obtains a confession by cutting off fingers with bolt cutters. Monk offers “Need a wipe?” ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-the-buddy-cop-movie-series/350206/7 "2006-03-28T19:18:54Z")
> [@mobo85](#): > > I would love to see this. It’s the perfect “Odd Couple” situation. > > Another good possible teamup: Chief Wiggum from _The Simpsons_. Jack is very threatening, good with a gun, and always gets the job done. Chief Wiggum…well, he uses his gun to open walnuts, and he once put out an APB for a “suspect driving a red…car, heading in the direction of…you know, that place that sells tacos. Suspect is hatless- I repeat, hatless!” The perfect “Good Cop, Bad Cop” situation…or in this case, “Good Cop, Completely Incompetent Cop.” They’re both on Fox – This would make an awsome Simpson’s episode! ---
**Author:** ![Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ed655f/32.png) [@Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crown_Prince_of_Irony)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-the-buddy-cop-movie-series/350206/8 "2006-03-28T19:23:38Z")
**Raguleader** , are you saying we should team him up with somebody from, oh say, Canada? 😃 Personally, I say Frank Drebin (Police Squad!) is the ideal partner for Jack Bauer. When Jack can’t get the info by torturing someone intentionally, he just leaves them in the room with Frank. Alone. With a set of golf clubs, a chainsaw, and a pet rottweiler. Let’s just see what happens? ---
**Author:** ![LiveOnAPlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@LiveOnAPlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiveOnAPlane)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-the-buddy-cop-movie-series/350206/9 "2006-03-28T22:53:20Z")
I’d like to see him paired with Jackie Chan! ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-the-buddy-cop-movie-series/350206/10 "2006-03-28T23:08:58Z")
John McClain – More ass kicking per square inch than you could imagine. And for some real strange fun: Roscoe P. Coltrane ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-the-buddy-cop-movie-series/350206/11 "2006-03-29T00:26:13Z")
**Raguleader** , I say we team him up with a 1920’s style “Death Ray.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-the-buddy-cop-movie-series/350206/12 "2006-03-29T04:46:11Z")
> [@MacTech](#): > > Who would you see Jack Bauer partnering up with? Chris Tucker, because the moment he started his comedy negro bug-eyed high-pitched jabbering schtick Jack would grimace and kill him with an angle-grinder. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-the-buddy-cop-movie-series/350206/13 "2006-03-29T13:17:44Z")
> [@Case Sensitive](#): > > Jack would…kill him with an angle-grinder. [Cool.](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0000223J4/102-7102894-0661733?v=glance&n=228013) ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-the-buddy-cop-movie-series/350206/14 "2006-03-29T13:46:38Z")
Ahhhh, they’re 1920’s style “Death Cops”. ---
**Author:** ![AndyPolley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@AndyPolley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndyPolley)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-the-buddy-cop-movie-series/350206/15 "2006-03-29T14:35:54Z")
How about teaming Jack up with Dale Cooper? **Agent Cooper** : Jack, I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don’t plan it, don’t wait for it, just… let it happen. **Jack Bauer** : I have killed two people since midnight. I haven’t slept in over 24 hours. So maybe you should be a little more afraid of me than you are now. **Agent Cooper** : Jack, where does this attitude of general unpleasantness come from? It’d be a hit for a saeason and a half. Probably. Of course, I’d also like to see Jack team-up with Sam Jackson on that plane batteling snakes in “Snakes on a Plane.” That would be awsome. Snakes. On a _Plane_. With _Jack Bauer_. Brilliant. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-the-buddy-cop-movie-series/350206/16 "2006-03-29T15:06:50Z")
> [@AndyPolley](#): > > Of course, I’d also like to see Jack team-up with Sam Jackson on that plane batteling snakes in “Snakes on a Plane.” That would be awsome. Snakes. On a _Plane_. With _Jack Bauer_. Brilliant. Nuts. I was just about to start a thread along those lines. Oh, [what the heck](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=7244487). ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-the-buddy-cop-movie-series/350206/17 "2006-03-29T22:06:10Z")
> [@AndyPolley](#): > > Of course, I’d also like to see Jack team-up with Sam Jackson on that plane batteling snakes in “Snakes on a Plane.” That would be awsome. Snakes. On a _Plane_. With _Jack Bauer_. Brilliant. I would so watch that. Jack: TELL ME WHERE THE BOMB IS, OR MILLIONS WILL DIE! Sam: YES THEY DESERVE TO DIE, AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL! Oh, wait. Actually, weren’t they both in “A Time to Kill” together? ---
**Author:** ![want2know](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@want2know](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/want2know)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-the-buddy-cop-movie-series/350206/18 "2006-03-30T18:22:02Z")
**George Francisco** from _Alien Nation_ . I win. 😃