# Jack Bauer vs Jason Bourne **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 12, 2006, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-vs-jason-bourne/368467 "2006-08-12T16:58:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2006, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-vs-jason-bourne/368467/21 "2006-08-13T21:43:39Z")
Book Bourne would eat Bauer for Breakfast. Movie Bourne would win but not as easily. Bauer as written while good just doesn’t have the depth of skill and improvisation that Bourne as written (in book and movie)has. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2006, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-vs-jason-bourne/368467/22 "2006-08-13T21:51:28Z")
[QUOTE=msmith537] Too bad death doesn’t usually stop Bauer. [/QUOTE] Good point. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Fiveyearlurker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@Fiveyearlurker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiveyearlurker)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2006, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-vs-jason-bourne/368467/23 "2006-08-13T22:23:35Z")
[QUOTE=Misscegnist] Anywhere out of the US - certainly Bourne, and I would go for book Bourne - couldn’t stand to watch the movies. [/QUOTE] That’s funny because I thought the movies were quite well done, and I found the books bordering on unreadable. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2006, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-vs-jason-bourne/368467/24 "2006-08-13T22:33:56Z")
[QUOTE=Licentious Ectomorph] Sydney Bristow could kick both their asses – in high heels! [/QUOTE] HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (pause for breath) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2006, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-vs-jason-bourne/368467/25 "2006-08-13T22:40:27Z")
Bristow would have kicked the arse of Richard Chamberlain’s Bourne, but that’s about it 😉 ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-vs-jason-bourne/368467/26 "2006-08-14T00:47:14Z")
Ditka. But maybe that’s cheating, so I’d have to go with Bauer. And hey… it’s not Jack’s fault that the real-time formula and production budget concerns of _24_ have everything take place within a quick helicopter flight of L.A. Take that dude to Europe or Mogadishu or Antarctica and the result would be the same—more freshly dead bad-guys than Pol Pot’s favorite uber-morgue could ever hold. Yeah… Antarctica. He’d make penguins squeal like seals (or SEALS squeal like penguins) while surviving on nothing but yellow snow and the frozen blood of research station denizens. All while shielded from the elements in a lean-to made in minutes from MacGyver’s intestines. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-vs-jason-bourne/368467/27 "2006-08-14T03:23:51Z")
[QUOTE=yojimbo] Movie Bourne would win but not as easily. Bauer as written while good just doesn’t have the depth of skill and improvisation that Bourne as written (in book and movie)has. [/QUOTE] just to reiterate, Bauer pulls together all his shit in 24 HOURS. And I think we all agree that in 24 hours, Jack Bauer would punch Bond in the face, steal his Aston Martin to drive across town to kick the crap out of Jason Bourne and still have time to double team Syndney Bristol and Nikita. On the way home he might stop off to make Leon wash his new car. ---
**Author:** ![Survey1215](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecb155/32.png) [@Survey1215](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Survey1215)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-vs-jason-bourne/368467/28 "2006-08-14T15:03:09Z")
Does Jack have Chloe helping him? Eh, I’d still say Movie Bourne takes Jack but both would be so beat down that it wouldn’t really matter. Its been so long since I read any Book Bourne that I don’t know about that. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-vs-jason-bourne/368467/29 "2006-08-14T15:49:39Z")
Bourne tears Bauer apart. Jack wouldn’t even know what hit him. _However_, as death doesn’t stop Jack, Jack then gets the drop on Jason and lays him down and out for the count permanently. To the best of my knowledge, Bourne can die. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2006, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-vs-jason-bourne/368467/30 "2006-08-15T17:48:22Z")
What if John Clark (Mr. Clancy’s badass) got in the mix? Ever read **Without Remorse**? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2006, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-vs-jason-bourne/368467/31 "2006-08-15T17:51:36Z")
Bauer is tough but Bourne has–more or less–superpowers. Bourne wins. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Big\_Cheese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8baadc/32.png) [@The\_Big\_Cheese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Big_Cheese)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-vs-jason-bourne/368467/32 "2006-08-16T01:57:50Z")
I don’t know who Bourne is, so I can’t really say. But…I just got done watching season 2, and Jack died. His heart stopped for almost a minute, and he bounced back, and still flew that nuclear bomb out to Nevada or wherever, and saved LA. Gotta be Bauer. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-vs-jason-bourne/368467/33 "2006-08-16T07:33:52Z")
Bourne. Because he isn’t a bad guy. Jack’s a bad guy who just happens to be on the right side, Bourne just wants to be left alone. ---
**Author:** ![Misscegnist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Misscegnist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misscegnist)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-vs-jason-bourne/368467/34 "2006-08-16T09:10:54Z")
[QUOTE=thinksnow] What if John Clark (Mr. Clancy’s badass) got in the mix? Ever read **Without Remorse**? [/QUOTE] Clark in Rainbow 6 was much too old to be really dangerous to Bauer…Chavez on the other hand… ---
**Author:** ![Cerowyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/82dd89/32.png) [@Cerowyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerowyn)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-vs-jason-bourne/368467/35 "2006-08-16T14:59:01Z")
RE: Death doesn’t stop Bauer. Bourne got shot in the back several times, fell into the sea in the middle of a storm and survived. Bourne is an assassin, highly trained not just to kill but to do so undetected. Unless Bauer had the drop on Bourne before Jason knew the game was on, Jack is dead. If the two ever get within arms reach of each other, Jack is dead. I mean, if the game is to figure out where a bomb is hidden, or where the bio-weapons are being smuggled into the country, Bourne isn’t even in the game. But if you’re talking about a to-the-death-confrontation? Bauer is a dead man. ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-vs-jason-bourne/368467/36 "2006-08-16T15:03:12Z")
Bourne, as long as his wife is in danger. If she’s fine, then he’ll want to be left alone and Bauer would kick his ass. Which is kind of what _Bourne_ wants, as long as Webb can walk away after! ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-vs-jason-bourne/368467/37 "2006-08-16T15:03:12Z")
[QUOTE=Cerowyn] RE: Death doesn’t stop Bauer. Bourne got shot in the back several times, fell into the sea in the middle of a storm and survived. [/QUOTE] He was hurt, but he didn’t die. Bauer has died _twice_. Heck, he did most of season 5 with a knife wound in his leg and a cracked rib, and he never flinched! ---
**Author:** ![Cerowyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/82dd89/32.png) [@Cerowyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerowyn)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-vs-jason-bourne/368467/38 "2006-08-16T15:24:06Z")
[QUOTE=D\_Odds] He was hurt, but he didn’t die. Bauer has died _twice_. Heck, he did most of season 5 with a knife wound in his leg and a cracked rib, and he never flinched! [/QUOTE] And season 5 is what, 24 hours? :dubious: It still boils down to the fact that Bourne is a exquisitely trained, highly skilled _assassin_. He is more than able to become the single-minded killing machine necessary to deal with any perceived threat to himself. (This point is better made in the books, but comes through pretty clearly in both movies, too.) ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-vs-jason-bourne/368467/39 "2006-08-16T15:42:02Z")
Obviously, what happens is that Bourne escapes from Bauer’s first two attempts to capture/kill him, using resourcefulness, composure, fighting ability and perhaps some luck. In the process of the third attempt, Bauer figures out who was framing Bourne and was _really_ behind the horrible crimes. Once this is known, the two are forced to cooperate in order to defeat the conspiracy and save both their lives. It ends with a final scene (after the conspiracy is defeated), where Bauer (with the gun) says “You know, Bourne, you’re still wanted by the agency. My duty is still to bring you in.” Then deliberately turns and faces away from Bourne and the open door. ---
**Author:** ![Mellivora\_capensis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mellivora\_capensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mellivora_capensis)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2006, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-vs-jason-bourne/368467/40 "2006-09-20T10:19:09Z")
Apologies for the bump and hijack. I am a huge Jason Bourne fan, and have watched Identity and Supremacy over and over and over again. I’m still missing one thing though (besides my mind). All the agents complained about headaches. What caused them? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-vs-jason-bourne/368467.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-bauer-vs-jason-bourne/368467.md?page=3)