# Jack Chick is back, baby! (New anti-Evolution tract!) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 2, 2004, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-is-back-baby-new-anti-evolution-tract/232105 "2004-03-02T14:21:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2004, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-is-back-baby-new-anti-evolution-tract/232105/41 "2004-03-02T23:13:03Z")
Man, Chick’s gotten lame. A semi-sinister teacher? C’mon! How I long for the good ol’ days of Dark Dungeons and the black-robed circle of E-vil! ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2004, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-is-back-baby-new-anti-evolution-tract/232105/42 "2004-03-02T23:17:53Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Now _that’s_ a creepy Chick Tract. “It’s okay, Cathy. I have a NEW daddy. Want to meet him? Come with me into this public park and get down on your knees…” Only Jack Chick is holy enough to ask little children “who’s your daddy?” It’s _beautiful_. Although the part where Cathy asks with wide-eyed innocence what sin was did creep me out some. I get the feeling this one started out as wanking material for old Jack. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-is-back-baby-new-anti-evolution-tract/232105/43 "2004-03-03T00:06:35Z")
> [@jk1245](#): > > Color me disappointed: > > Not a single “Haw Haw” > > Bob the swarthy Christian is nowhere to be seen > > No prancing demons in the background > > No “falling to your knees and asking for forgiveness for your wicked thoughts” out of the nonbelieving character at the end. And where’s the goofy little dog? ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-is-back-baby-new-anti-evolution-tract/232105/44 "2004-03-03T00:19:27Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > Conversely, the brave little Christian is noble, pure, and cute as a basket of puppies Except for that weird half-melted little mongoloid child in panel 22. What’s up with that? ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-is-back-baby-new-anti-evolution-tract/232105/45 "2004-03-03T00:23:46Z")
Check out “Demon-Possessed” Susy in Frame 29. ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-is-back-baby-new-anti-evolution-tract/232105/46 "2004-03-03T01:42:22Z")
It’s amazing to me that Timmy knows about God and Heaven, but doesn’t know the Genesis account of creation, or about Jesus. Or Hell, or sin… The “proven” and “absolute truth” bits are obviously things that no self-respecting science teacher would ever state. It’s rather odd that even those of us who accept evolution can agree with L’il Suzy when she says, “Timmy, that’s a **LIE**!” And even odder when, as **Ilsa** pointed out, we can agree with her when she says, “Ms. Henn, I told him the _ **truth** _…we _ **didn’t** _ come from monkeys.” Jack is in way over his head when it comes to science-y stuff. Odd artistic choice: In the “God said He made the **first** dinosaur and the **first** man…” panel, the dinosaur is drawn relatively detailed (though in a rather archaic pose, and with odd-looking feet), while the man is but a sillouette. I guess that’s so he didn’t have to draw in the naughty bits, or something. ---
**Author:** ![Road\_Rash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a8b319/32.png) [@Road\_Rash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Road_Rash)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-is-back-baby-new-anti-evolution-tract/232105/47 "2004-03-03T01:54:41Z")
My mini-rant. When I was in high school, a student made a comment about how evolution claimed we evolved from apes (it was a history class and we were studying Darwin), the teacher deftly diverted a potential creationist hijack by saying “the theory of evolution does not say we evolved from apes, it says we evolved from a common ancestor,” and continued with the lesson. Get your rants about evolution in line, Jack. ---
**Author:** ![TitoBenito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2acd7d/32.png) [@TitoBenito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TitoBenito)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-is-back-baby-new-anti-evolution-tract/232105/48 "2004-03-03T02:36:28Z")
“God Said he made the first dinosaur and man on the same day! And that was about 6,000 years ago, not millions!” Jack Chick from Gen 1;24 -28 Gen 1:24-28 NKJV And then the lord created man on the six day. He also made the dinosaur earlier that morning after breakfast. But they were really scary, and God though they might step on or maybe eat the people he was going to make. So he got rid of them and went on to making marsupials, who are much less scarry. This all happened about 3,500 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-is-back-baby-new-anti-evolution-tract/232105/49 "2004-03-03T02:48:30Z")
Am I the only one to whom the ending practically screamed “SEQUEL! SEQUEL! THERE IS GOING TO BE AN APES, LIES, AND MS. HENN PART 2! HAW HAW HAW, IT IS NOT OVER YET!!” Where the teacher will either be saved and go to Heaven, or not be saved and go to Hell. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-is-back-baby-new-anti-evolution-tract/232105/50 "2004-03-03T02:53:30Z")
I like the modified Susy “Yes I am you crazy BITCH!” “Britney Spears Stupid!!!” Until the last few panels, that is. ---
**Author:** ![afterhourz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@afterhourz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/afterhourz)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-is-back-baby-new-anti-evolution-tract/232105/51 "2004-03-03T03:02:56Z")
[QUOTE=ammo52] It’s almost impossible to parody Chick’s crap-- the original is such a “self-parody” that nothing can be as funny as the real deal. [QUOTE] I think my parody was very good but I am biased since it was mine 🙂 > [@](#): > > I like the modified Susy > > “Yes I am you crazy BITCH!” > > “Britney Spears Stupid!!!” > > Until the last few panels, that is. May I inquire as to what specifically put you off in the last two panels? It was clearly a play on the “you need the Bible or the Christian God to be moral//have morality” from some fundies. I (and most comments I received thus far) thought it was well done and piss your pants hysterical 😃 Of course, those who read my humor regularly know me for my [no punch holding – over the edge humor](http://www.after-hourz.net/spoofs.html) 😉 I understand that type of humor isn’t for everyone. I revel in it. Vinnie ---
**Author:** ![afterhourz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@afterhourz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/afterhourz)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-is-back-baby-new-anti-evolution-tract/232105/52 "2004-03-03T03:04:41Z")
Reposting due to inability to edit posts here and format errors in my last one. Sorry for the wasted bandwidth 😉 > [@ammo52](#): > > It’s almost impossible to parody Chick’s crap-- the original is such a “self-parody” that nothing can be as funny as the real deal. I think my parody was very good but I am biased since it was mine 🙂 > [@](#): > > I like the modified Susy > > “Yes I am you crazy BITCH!” > > “Britney Spears Stupid!!!” > > Until the last few panels, that is. May I inquire as to what specifically put you off in the last two panels? It was clearly a play on the “you need the Bible or the Christian God to be moral//have morality” from some fundies. I (and most comments I received thus far) thought it was well done and piss your pants hysterical 😃 Of course, those who read my humor regularly know me for my [no punch holding – over the edge humor](http://www.after-hourz.net/spoofs.html) 😉 I understand that type of humor isn’t for everyone. I revel in it. Vinnie ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-is-back-baby-new-anti-evolution-tract/232105/53 "2004-03-03T03:51:58Z")
> [@Darwin's Finch](#): > > the dinosaur is drawn relatively detailed (though in a rather archaic pose, and with odd-looking feet), while the man is but a sillouette. I guess that’s so he didn’t have to draw in the naughty bits, or something. I guess dinosaurs did have naughty bits too… 😉 Now, rise your hand if you were waiting for the punchline the first time you read one of Chick´s tracts. The first one I read was about the origin of Islam, or something… I actually LMAO all the way to the bottom, and was quite upset when I finally realized that it was not a satire, at that point I LMAO a second time. That makes me wonder, what percentage of the web hits to his page are from people that goes there for the sole reason of having fun at the expense of his psychotic cartoon ramblings instead of driven by a… ejem, _search for enlightment_? ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-is-back-baby-new-anti-evolution-tract/232105/54 "2004-03-03T05:13:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Being a former Marine and in the Army I like leaving the Chick tract called [Holy Joe](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0002/0002_01.asp) in the recruiting stations for young men and women. This one tract that was given to me back in the 60’s kept me strong when the war was going on. This is the best tract for our service men and women to read. \*~ R.W., via the Internet > > If you have found a way or many ways to give a tract to someone, that is comfortable to you, share it with us. We would like to pass on your ideas to other soulwinners. Send your ideas to us at: > > ``` > **[Wanted: Your Tract Passing Tips](http://www.chick.com/bc/2004/tracttipsm_a.asp)** > c/o Chick Publications > P. O. Box 3500 > Ontario, CA. 91761-1019 > postmaster@chick.com > > ``` \ . ---
**Author:** ![Urban\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Urban\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urban_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-is-back-baby-new-anti-evolution-tract/232105/55 "2004-03-03T07:58:00Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > [ul] > [li]And, of course, Jack uses the Excluded Middle fallacy to force the reader into a false choice between evolution and religious faith[/li][/ul] You mean False Dilemma, right? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![LonesomePolecat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@LonesomePolecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LonesomePolecat)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-is-back-baby-new-anti-evolution-tract/232105/56 "2004-03-03T19:11:00Z")
> [@afterhourz](#): > > Reposting due to inability to edit posts here and format errors in my last one. Sorry for the wasted bandwidth 😉 > > I think my parody was very good but I am biased since it was mine 🙂 > > … I understand that type of humor isn’t for everyone. I revel in it. > > Vinnie I liked your spoof, but you should be aware that the Chick Tract Company can be pretty agressive about protecting their copyrights and taking action against those who appropriate their artwork. Don’t be surprised if you get a nasty letter form their attorney or if they pressure your ISP into pulling your parody from your site. ---
**Author:** ![Epimetheus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c4cdca/32.png) [@Epimetheus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Epimetheus)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-is-back-baby-new-anti-evolution-tract/232105/57 "2004-03-03T19:28:19Z")
Yes, it was funny, but I agree with the other poster in that the ending was a bit… over the top. It almost looks like a jack chick track from when he was piss angry. The idea that kids have anal sex and do crack because they are godless is a slap in the face, much more of a slap in the face than Jack Chick himself gives. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-is-back-baby-new-anti-evolution-tract/232105/58 "2004-03-03T19:55:12Z")
That “Holy Joe” tract looks about as accurate as [Beetle Bailey](http://www.kingfeatures.com/features/comics/bbailey/about.htm)! ---
**Author:** ![afterhourz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@afterhourz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/afterhourz)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-is-back-baby-new-anti-evolution-tract/232105/59 "2004-03-03T20:43:03Z")
> [@LonesomePolecat](#): > > I liked your spoof, but you should be aware that the Chick Tract Company can be pretty agressive about protecting their copyrights and taking action against those who appropriate their artwork. Don’t be surprised if you get a nasty letter form their attorney or if they pressure your ISP into pulling your parody from your site. Thanks for the tip. I was alerted to this in the humor forum at the Internet Infidels Discussion Board. Given the blogs and message boards (including this one which I found via referring urls in my control panel) my parody popped up on in only one day I figure a ton of people will see it before anything happens 🙂 > [@](#): > > The idea that kids have anal sex and do crack because they are godless is a slap in the face, much more of a slap in the face than Jack Chick himself gives. To me that was the whole point. The concept is so absurdly stupid yet it surfaces again and again. Little Susy saying hey we don’t believe the Bible lets go have anal sex is just pricelessly funny! 😃 Vinnie ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-is-back-baby-new-anti-evolution-tract/232105/60 "2004-03-03T21:37:52Z")
“I have good news children. Your teacher, Mrs Tucker, had twins!” . . . . The product of original sin, I suppose? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-is-back-baby-new-anti-evolution-tract/232105.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-is-back-baby-new-anti-evolution-tract/232105.md?page=4)