# Jack Chick just converted me to Christianity \[or not\] **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 15, 2010, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-just-converted-me-to-christianity-or-not/529048 "2010-02-15T06:49:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-just-converted-me-to-christianity-or-not/529048/21 "2010-02-15T16:23:49Z")
Hell, I was just thinking that I should really find a better hiding spot for mine. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Violaceous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Miss\_Violaceous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Violaceous)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-just-converted-me-to-christianity-or-not/529048/22 "2010-02-15T16:29:50Z")
With this week’s special guest author, Stephenie Meyer. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-just-converted-me-to-christianity-or-not/529048/23 "2010-02-15T16:48:10Z")
Is the take home message ‘don’t talk to the neighbor’s children about your religion, because of the resulting river of blood and damnation may never end?’ Need answer fast. ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-just-converted-me-to-christianity-or-not/529048/24 "2010-02-15T16:48:35Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > Hell, I was just thinking that I should really find a better hiding spot for mine. Too late. ---
**Author:** ![chromaticity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@chromaticity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chromaticity)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-just-converted-me-to-christianity-or-not/529048/25 "2010-02-15T17:02:17Z")
God reminds me of the Lincoln memorial. Whats up with Wolf’s snakes anyway. Just to give off a menacing aura? Also, the last panel about Margaret was just too awesome! Guess Ill be seeing her soon 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-just-converted-me-to-christianity-or-not/529048/26 "2010-02-15T17:12:36Z")
This one is right up there with “Dark Dungeons” and Igor the vampire. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-just-converted-me-to-christianity-or-not/529048/27 "2010-02-15T17:25:11Z")
I went to school with a kid named Billy Wolf. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-just-converted-me-to-christianity-or-not/529048/28 "2010-02-15T17:29:02Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > I went to school with a kid named Billy Wolf. And to think most people find out what their old classmates are up to via reunions or Facebook… ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-just-converted-me-to-christianity-or-not/529048/29 "2010-02-15T17:30:21Z")
All the vintage Chick crazy we all know and love – now with werewolves! ---
**Author:** ![Darkhold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@Darkhold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkhold)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-just-converted-me-to-christianity-or-not/529048/30 "2010-02-15T17:41:42Z")
I assumed this story was supposed to take place in the old west…but there are people talking on cell phones? Are Indians of today that pissed off about people converting to Christianity? I don’t know why I’m trying to make sense of a comic featuring a shape shifting witch. Jesus Christ this one is off the rails. ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-just-converted-me-to-christianity-or-not/529048/31 "2010-02-15T17:42:35Z")
From his first appearance in this one, Satan look like [Birdo’s](http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/egamia/images/8/86/Birdo.jpg) bastard brother. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-just-converted-me-to-christianity-or-not/529048/32 "2010-02-15T17:54:02Z")
I have a few questions about this one. Crazy Wolf didn’t go after Mary until he was paid to, and I think he may be just the guy to take care of my Emilio Estevez problem (he knows what he did). What’s the going rate for a magical flying Injun werewolf shaman? Is it a flat rate, or do I have to pay him by the hour? Where do I find one? Can I look in the yellow pages under “magical flying Injun werewolf shaman”? I did a [google search](http://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial&channel=s&hl=en&source=hp&q=magical+flying+injun+werewolf+shaman&btnG=Google+Search) for “magical flying Injun werewolf shaman”, but so far no luck. I did learn that “a few good Injuns don’t make a basketful” (third result), however, so at least there’s that. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-just-converted-me-to-christianity-or-not/529048/33 "2010-02-15T17:54:42Z")
Anyone else thinking that Chick must have been watching the trailer to _Where the Wild Things Are_ right before drawing the attack on Mary’s cabin? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-just-converted-me-to-christianity-or-not/529048/34 "2010-02-15T18:00:50Z")
The two best things about this tract were this [quote=“Jragon, post:1, topic:529048”] [li] In all seriousness, I actually laughed at the matter-of-factly “by the way” addendum of “Margaret didn’t believe in Jesus and her soul went into the pit of hell.”[/li][/QUOTE] and this > [@faithfool](#): > > Who actually _saves_ their nail clippings to be stolen? Ah, these two things killed me. I imagined the Margaret went to hell disclaimer sounding like the voice-over at the end of a commercial. “Batteries not included,” or “Each sold separately,” or of course, “Margaret went to hell.” And they really couldn’t have thought of anything better than fingernail clippings? Well, you know, I can’t either, so they probably should have just left it at hair. Oh, and so does this mean Chick acknowledges that “witches” have power? ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-just-converted-me-to-christianity-or-not/529048/35 "2010-02-15T18:19:12Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Oh, and so does this mean Chick acknowledges that “witches” have power? Apparently Dungeon Masters have power too according to his tract that condemns D&D. I must have been using the wrong game manuals as a kid! ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-just-converted-me-to-christianity-or-not/529048/36 "2010-02-15T18:24:14Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Oh, and so does this mean Chick acknowledges that “witches” have power? I think I can answer this one (merely restating what they say, of course, not that I believe it myself) Yes, they beleive that people other than Christians have power, especially if that power comes from the Devil. (Bible has several places where God’s power is fighting Satan’s power, and for those who take the Bible literally, well, … ) Theyof course always believe that “our God can beat up your god”, but they don’t believe that their God has a monopoly on power. If that made any sense - really, it’s hard to lucidly represent some of this stuff … ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-just-converted-me-to-christianity-or-not/529048/37 "2010-02-15T18:25:37Z")
Actually, the lunatic IS internally consistent with his lunacy. Since in Jack Chick’s world, the entire Universe is just a giant wargame between Jesus and Satan, assigning mystical superpowers to the Satanic hoards makes sense. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be a ‘game’ in the first place. And since ALL non-Christian beliefs are Satanic (again according to Chick’s worldview), then it isn’t much of a stretch from native American shaman to flying demon werewolf-o-doom. I always find the image of Jesus sitting on the giant throne with a blank ovoid for a head extremely odd. That _is_ supposed to be Jesus, right? ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-just-converted-me-to-christianity-or-not/529048/38 "2010-02-15T18:26:19Z")
Here’s the deal with the fingernails: Naglfar - _(“The ship with rivets”) Naglfar is a ship that the Death Goddess Hel created using dead humans’ fingernails. When people trim their fingernails, the construction of Nagelfar is delayed. It will be launched at Ragnarok from Jotunheim loaded with armed Jotuns, ready to fight the Gods._ From [this site](http://www.sunnyway.com/runes/gods2.html#N). Old Mary was in league with Loki, and by hoarding her fingernails, they were planning to bring Ragnarok forward. Or something. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-just-converted-me-to-christianity-or-not/529048/39 "2010-02-15T18:52:29Z")
Once again, Jack Chick shows us that Satan-supported pagan religions are _way cooler_ than his lame-brain Christianity. ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-just-converted-me-to-christianity-or-not/529048/40 "2010-02-15T19:09:42Z")
If only they’d called the right Mr. Wolf, > [@shantih](#): > > More chicken, Mr. Wolf? Thought I smelled some coffee in there. Would you make me a cup? Lotsa cream, lotsa sugar. CMC fnord! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-just-converted-me-to-christianity-or-not/529048.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-chick-just-converted-me-to-christianity-or-not/529048.md?page=3)