# Jack, you goddam pig!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 11, 2011, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-you-goddam-pig/592380 "2011-08-11T21:54:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Indian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@Indian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indian)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2011, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-you-goddam-pig/592380/21 "2011-08-12T05:03:20Z")
When you gotta go, you GOTTA go! ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2011, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-you-goddam-pig/592380/22 "2011-08-12T12:11:40Z")
Jack - You stupid git. Don’t you know you’re supposed to hold it in until just before you get off, leaving the rest of the car to enjoy your contribution to the air quality? ETA: Curse you, **voltaire**. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2011, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-you-goddam-pig/592380/23 "2011-08-12T12:20:03Z")
Clearly the OP needs to take responsibility for himself and take the stairs. Anything else is an indicator that it loves Jack’s ass gas. -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2011, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-you-goddam-pig/592380/24 "2011-08-12T13:00:33Z")
I was in an elevator about 20 years ago with a friend of mine. I dropped a horrible fart (hey these things happen). Suddenly the bell dings and the elevator stopped at the next floor and three Nuns were about to enter. I got out and left him and the Nuns in there as the elevator went down. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2011, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-you-goddam-pig/592380/25 "2011-08-12T13:11:32Z")
Someone should have hit the button for the next floor and ordered Jack Off. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2011, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-you-goddam-pig/592380/26 "2011-08-12T13:18:31Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Someone should have hit the button for the next floor and ordered Jack Off. And a thousand people unbuttoned their flys. ---
**Author:** ![LionelHutz405](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lionelhutz405/32/536_2.png) [@LionelHutz405](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LionelHutz405)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2011, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-you-goddam-pig/592380/27 "2011-08-12T13:29:59Z")
Farting in an elevator is just wrong on so many levels. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2011, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-you-goddam-pig/592380/28 "2011-08-12T13:33:09Z")
> [@LionelHutz405](#): > > Farting in an elevator is just wrong on so many levels. That is a classic. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2011, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-you-goddam-pig/592380/29 "2011-08-12T13:41:15Z")
I, for one, would like to congratulate Jack. That must have been worth like fifty points, plus his poots are being discussed on the internet! Make it a hundred points. Stink on, sir! ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2011, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-you-goddam-pig/592380/30 "2011-08-12T14:08:54Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > I, for one, would like to congratulate Jack. That must have been worth like fifty points, plus his poots are being discussed on the internet! Make it a hundred points. Stink on, sir! Minus seventy-five for getting caught. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2011, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-you-goddam-pig/592380/31 "2011-08-12T14:25:46Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Your building obviously needs [this diagram for people who suck at everyday life.](http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_119_instructional-diagrams-people-who-suck-at-everyday-life_p18/#11) Sheesh. ROTFLMAO!!! I don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there. I’m printing that picture off and hanging it in the elevator. :D:D ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2011, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-you-goddam-pig/592380/32 "2011-08-12T18:42:52Z")
Dumb bastard never learned the right way to fart in an elevator. Do it when you are alone and getting off on a floor, then sending it down to a lobby full of people. Or you could just let fly in front of one that you know is about to open with just enough delay to get out of sight(but still be within earshot to hear the reaction). Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![OneMissedPost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8e7dd6/32.png) [@OneMissedPost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneMissedPost)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2011, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-you-goddam-pig/592380/33 "2011-08-12T19:07:41Z")
> [@merijeek](#): > > clearly the op needs to take responsibility for himself and take the stairs. Anything else is an indicator that it loves jack’s ass gas. > > -joe +1 lmfao! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2011, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-you-goddam-pig/592380/34 "2011-08-12T19:23:40Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > ROTFLMAO!!! > > I don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there. I’m printing that picture off and hanging it in the elevator. > > :D:D Oh, please do! Bonus points if you add, “This means you, Jack.” at the bottom. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2011, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-you-goddam-pig/592380/35 "2011-08-12T19:33:37Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Oh, please do! Bonus points if you add, “This means you, Jack.” at the bottom. 😃 \ ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2011, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-you-goddam-pig/592380/36 "2011-08-12T20:23:56Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Wasn’t that an Aerosmith song? Nah, that’s just what the song sounded like. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2011, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-you-goddam-pig/592380/37 "2011-08-12T22:44:24Z")
> [@LionelHutz405](#): > > Farting in an elevator is just wrong on so many levels. Oh, it has its ups and downs. ---
**Author:** ![Mince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@Mince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mince)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-you-goddam-pig/592380/38 "2011-08-13T00:07:26Z")
You shouldn’t get upset over a biological imperative. Sometimes it’s controllable, sometimes it’s not. ---
**Author:** ![Mince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@Mince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mince)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-you-goddam-pig/592380/39 "2011-08-13T00:13:26Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > Unless you were raised by wolves, your parents taught you a few simple rules: > > 1. Say “please” and “thank you.” > 2. Chew with your mouth closed. > 3. Don’t fart in the elevator. > > These things are called “manners” and they are the lubrication on the rusty gearbox of society. Also: –Don’t step on Superman’s cape –Don’t spit into the wind –Don’t pull the mask off of The Lone Ranger –And don’t mess around with Jim ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2011, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-you-goddam-pig/592380/40 "2011-08-13T01:20:23Z")
> [@Mince](#): > > Also: > > –Don’t step on Superman’s cape > –Don’t spit into the wind > –Don’t pull the mask off of The Lone Ranger > –And don’t mess around with Jim Unless your name is Slim, in which case, you can mess around with Jim all you like. I’d still leave Superman’s cape and the Lone Ranger’s mask alone, though, and spitting into the wind is always out. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-you-goddam-pig/592380.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jack-you-goddam-pig/592380.md?page=3)