# Jack's Back: The latest Chick Tract **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 11, 2005, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacks-back-the-latest-chick-tract/312010 "2005-07-11T16:29:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacks-back-the-latest-chick-tract/312010/21 "2005-07-11T18:03:18Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > . . . But what did the evil little boy do with the old man’s hair? Why would he _want_ old-man hair? For some devil-worship ceremony? Will all this be answered in the next tract? > > (" . . . and what of Mother Marcus? Will she tell Marion about Noah and the Ark?") All this and more in the next episode of _As the Cookie Crumbles_! ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacks-back-the-latest-chick-tract/312010/22 "2005-07-11T18:13:25Z")
> [@fubbleskag](#): > > my favourite part is how in the first 6 frames all the reasons given for why worshipping an idol is stupid can easily be applied to worshipping god. It really threw me for the first 6 frames. I kept thinking, “Jeez, is he talking about his own religion? Because lots of Christians use crosses. Rosary beads are Catholic, sure, but what about the huge idols in the churches?” ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacks-back-the-latest-chick-tract/312010/23 "2005-07-11T18:16:34Z")
I don’t expect Jack Chick’s tracts to make sense 100%, but I thought this was somewhat hypocritical. The tract features the following line: > [@The Museum Curator](#): > > They’re bound by religious rituals, desperately hoping to _earn_ their way to heaven…[the reason for this is] to get them to miss God’s gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ…Bible Christianity is _not_ a religion- it’s a living relationship with Jesus Christ…Nothing but faith in Jesus Christ will get you into Heaven. This is perhaps the most intelligent thing Jack Chick has ever written! But then the tract ends with the usual “Do this to increase your relationship with Jesus” list. One of the items is: > [@](#): > > Worship…and serve with other Christians in a church where Christ is preached and the Bible is the final authority. I’m not a Protestant, but are there _any_ churches like this? Don’t even Protestant churches have large crosses and images of Christ on the cross, which Jack Chick claims break the First Commandment? (“I am the Lord your God. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.”) ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacks-back-the-latest-chick-tract/312010/24 "2005-07-11T18:29:04Z")
> [@mobo85](#): > > I’m not a Protestant, but are there _any_ churches like this? Don’t even Protestant churches have large crosses and images of Christ on the cross, which Jack Chick claims break the First Commandment? (“I am the Lord your God. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.”) The highly conservative Protestant church that I was raised in did have a large (plain) cross, but absolutely no statues, no stained glass that showed people (the two stained glass windows were, IIRC, just abstract mosaics of color with a couple crosses worked into the design), nothing like that. I suspect that Chick’s response would be something to the effect that one was not to pray to the cross, but just for it to be there to remind yourself of Christ’s suffering - and your requisite guilt over your sinfulness. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacks-back-the-latest-chick-tract/312010/25 "2005-07-11T18:31:56Z")
What’s with the guy with the strap-on dildo on his head? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacks-back-the-latest-chick-tract/312010/26 "2005-07-11T18:31:58Z")
What’s going on with the artwork in this comic? Looks like Chick is subcontracting his doodles these days - that is a major stylistic shift from his earlier work. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacks-back-the-latest-chick-tract/312010/27 "2005-07-11T18:33:52Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > What’s with the guy with the strap-on dildo on his head? :dubious: Haw haw haw! What a _Nimrod!!_ Someone’s been fucking with his head. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacks-back-the-latest-chick-tract/312010/28 "2005-07-11T19:13:35Z")
Call me wacky, but is this tract an aimed response to this SDMB thread? [Jack Chick…now in 666 technicolor!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=303148&highlight=Jack+Chick+technicolor) Are we of the SDMB the symbolic evil boy in the old man’s hair? I really did like your images of Buddha, Jack! I use them to remind me of what the Buddha taught and the love and promise of that path, but I don’t pray to the image. Sorry to disappoint, Jack. Buddha isn’t a mediator…just a teacher and an accidental holyman. ---
**Author:** ![Pullet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Pullet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pullet)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacks-back-the-latest-chick-tract/312010/29 "2005-07-11T19:32:02Z")
I like how all the non-Christian religions evolved after the crucifiction. Hinduism, Ancient Egyptian practices, Zen. Let’s rewrite history, children! That, and the idea that Satan conspires to force people into doing good works. That one’s going in the vault. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacks-back-the-latest-chick-tract/312010/30 "2005-07-11T19:32:53Z")
Wow - Jack really phoned this one in. Not a single “HAW!”, no demons dragging the damned down to hell - nothing that makes this anything but pedestrian. One hook-nosed caricature of a person looking at the painting with menorah in it that was straight out of _Der Volkische Beobachter_, a quick dig at the Papists and their rosary-worship, and that was that. Where’s the spark? Where’s the freshness? Where’s the bug-eyed, sanctimonious little piss-hats saving their school mates from being sexually molested by Satanic cult-worshippers? I know you can’t hit the fences every time, but still… Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacks-back-the-latest-chick-tract/312010/31 "2005-07-11T19:42:39Z")
> [@kingpengvin](#): > > “Religions of the world” would mean the dog had to go. No, that’s the god of dyslexics! I am so going to hell… ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacks-back-the-latest-chick-tract/312010/32 "2005-07-11T19:59:53Z")
> [@Ferret Herder](#): > > I am so going to hell… Be sure to say hello to Jack when you get there. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacks-back-the-latest-chick-tract/312010/33 "2005-07-11T20:08:42Z")
You don’t say hello - you say HAW! HAW! HAW! Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacks-back-the-latest-chick-tract/312010/34 "2005-07-11T20:24:19Z")
> [@](#): > > . . . But what did the evil little boy do with the old man’s hair? Why would he _want_ old-man hair? For some devil-worship ceremony? Will all this be answered in the next tract? Mr Savage: [I](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=323946) was hoping you could provide some insight as to whether my behavior is normal. At museums I can clearly see who is going in and out of the exhibit rooms. When I go into the museum and no one is around, I pluck hairs off old men’s heads. In particular, if this one guy I like enters and leaves the African Art wing, I go in, sneak up behind him and sometimes pluck two or three of his hairs. I collect his hairs, take them home and sterilize them. I store them in a plastic sandwich bag [no - I’m not making this up, though I can’t vouch for it], which I bring out when I masturbate. Imagining that I have just orally serviced him, I place his hairs in my mouth and let them rest on my tongue. Then I climax. Is this healthy? Should I stop behaving this way? Can I be saved? ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/47e85d/32.png) [@Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Lance_Murdoch)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacks-back-the-latest-chick-tract/312010/35 "2005-07-11T20:39:24Z")
Is it just me or did anyone else guess the woman was a Catholic in frame #2? ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacks-back-the-latest-chick-tract/312010/36 "2005-07-11T20:48:37Z")
> [@Uvula Donor](#): > > What’s going on with the artwork in this comic? Looks like Chick is subcontracting his doodles these days - that is a major stylistic shift from his earlier work. Chick’s been doing that for years, now. Supposedly, he’s got a stable of really low-paid artists that he uses for his tracts. I gotta say that this new, kinder, gentler Chick sucks hard. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacks-back-the-latest-chick-tract/312010/37 "2005-07-11T20:53:04Z")
> [@Captain Lance Murdoch](#): > > Is it just me or did anyone else guess the woman was a Catholic in frame #2? Ooooh. So _that_’s what’s going on. Yea, Chick’s really losing it when you can’t even tell who he’s hating. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacks-back-the-latest-chick-tract/312010/38 "2005-07-11T21:10:54Z")
Why do I read something that makes me feel queasy? Yet I cannot turn away. I miss the 400-foot-tall Jesus sitting on the giant throne. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacks-back-the-latest-chick-tract/312010/39 "2005-07-11T21:15:54Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > . . . But what did the evil little boy do with the old man’s hair? Why would he _want_ old-man hair? For some devil-worship ceremony? Will all this be answered in the next tract? Sure 'nuff! It’s an obvious setup for an _Evils Of Cloning_ tract… Imagine, little troublemaker boy leading his army of old men, wielding magnifying glasses and disregarding velvet ropes at every turn…no nightclub doorman will be safe! ---
**Author:** ![Futile\_Gesture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f05b48/32.png) [@Futile\_Gesture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Futile_Gesture)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2005, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacks-back-the-latest-chick-tract/312010/40 "2005-07-11T22:29:00Z")
Boy, talk about a long, dull sermon! Which is why, I suppose, the daft goings on in the background were put in to lighten it up. But overall I finished it unclear on who I should be hating and who was going to hell. So a bit confusing all round. 2/10. Very poor effort. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacks-back-the-latest-chick-tract/312010.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacks-back-the-latest-chick-tract/312010.md?page=3)