# Jacques Cousteau and French Kill Ocean, Destroy World **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 15, 2004, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909 "2004-12-15T02:29:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/21 "2004-12-15T03:27:16Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > **Scylla** , please do me a favor and don’t watch Nova any more. I was sailing along just fine in life not knowing about this shit. Now you can just come over and rock me to sleep tonight. To think about all the time and effort we wasted arguing politics when in fact our doom was sealed by a German aquatic horticultural concern and some careless French Icthyologists. I should have known. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/22 "2004-12-15T03:29:27Z")
> [@Q.E.D.](#): > > It’s not quite _that_ bad: Yeah, it is. That’s what I said, a tarp and chlorine. That works when they find and catch it early, but you can hardly put a tarp over the Meditaraneum and smother all of Europe to death with chlorine… Hey, wait a minute! ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/23 "2004-12-15T04:14:26Z")
Meh. They said the same thing about the africanized honeybees. “Killer bees! Killer bees are coming!!” So, where are they now? Huh? ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/24 "2004-12-15T04:19:38Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > I’m more surprised to learn that Jacques was personally mucking out fish tanks. > > It was Jacques who mucked this particular tank, right? Nah, it was George Bush. I’m sure the libs will wind up blaming him for this, too. ---
**Author:** ![lizardling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f4b2a3/32.png) [@lizardling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lizardling)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/25 "2004-12-15T04:34:36Z")
Nuthin’ to say, ‘ceptin’ I haven’t eaten all day due to insanity at work (ceptin’ a couple sodas and a couple mini-hershey-bite bars) and I am now struck with a right powerful hankerin’ for some nori. You know, the kind that looks like green wet confetti, and comes with sesame seeds on top. _drool_ Unfortunately, turning this plant stuff into sushi fixin’s won’t work, I see… _le sigh_ (yes, I get odd when I haven’t eaten. Odder, anyway.) ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/26 "2004-12-15T05:05:08Z")
> [@](#): > > Meh. They said the same thing about the africanized honeybees. “Killer bees! Killer bees are coming!!” So, where are they now? Huh? They just called on their cell phone. They got off the Interstate to gas up, and to buy a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and a Mountain Dew. They’ll be along presently. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/27 "2004-12-15T05:31:00Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > They just called on their cell phone. They got off the Interstate to gas up, and to buy a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and a Mountain Dew. They’ll be along presently. They must have used [expedia.com](http://expedia.com). Stupid bees. ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/28 "2004-12-15T05:33:54Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > They just called on their cell phone. They got off the Interstate to gas up, and to buy a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and a Mountain Dew. They’ll be along presently. And that’s what became of the threat. They all choked to death on Doritos because, being bees, they _couldn’t read the warning on the package_. Killer Kudzu of the Deep? A chance to bash the French makes environmentalists of us all, unless the environmental issue is deforestation or global warming or CFC emissions or factory fishing or acid rain or strip mining or mercury pollution or oil exploration or high-level nuclear waste or phosphates or midnight dumping of hazardous waste or even the sheer volume of garbage we generate. ---
**Author:** ![Chairman\_Pow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/838e76/32.png) [@Chairman\_Pow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chairman_Pow)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/29 "2004-12-15T05:44:06Z")
I’m confused by this: > [@](#): > > The fact that researchers have found C.taxifolia off the coast of California (USA) and along the south coast of South Australia by vectors such as ballast water of container ships (although less likely) or the drainage of home salt-water aquaria must have contributed to the spread of this algae into these parts of the world. From part VI Do people buy special salt water from different parts of the world for their aquariums? Are people bringing their fish with them on intercontinental moves? Also, > [@](#): > > Report any suspected sightings of Caulerpa to the nearest authorities! Am I supposed to call the Cook County Sheriff’s office? That does suck about the ocean dying and everything. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/30 "2004-12-15T05:54:09Z")
> [@Chairman Pow](#): > > Do people buy special salt water from different parts of the world for their aquariums? Are people bringing their fish with them on intercontinental moves? No, you misunderstand. This particular strain of _C. taxifolia_ is, or at least was, sold as a decorative plant for saltwater aqariums. Presumably when cleaning the aquariums, some people would discharge the water, containing bits and pieces of _C. taxilfolia_, into the oceans since it was apparently convenient for them. ---
**Author:** ![Chairman\_Pow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/838e76/32.png) [@Chairman\_Pow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chairman_Pow)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/31 "2004-12-15T06:01:09Z")
> [@Q.E.D.](#): > > No, you misunderstand. This particular strain of _C. taxifolia_ is, or at least was, sold as a decorative plant for saltwater aqariums. Presumably when cleaning the aquariums, some people would discharge the water, containing bits and pieces of _C. taxilfolia_, into the oceans since it was apparently convenient for them. D’oh! When I read \*\*Scylla’s \*\* recap, I figured “aquarium community” meant big museums, not people looking for for their clown fish to hide in. That’ll teach me to skip to the end of huge scholarly works. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/32 "2004-12-15T06:50:56Z")
Don’t worry! Lloyd Bridges will save us! he’s what? … okay, we’re screwed ---
**Author:** ![Grey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Grey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/33 "2004-12-15T11:40:51Z")
I thought it was zebra mussels that were the future scourge of the world? Is there a distribution list I can get on to keep up? ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/34 "2004-12-15T11:52:50Z")
> [@Grey](#): > > I thought it was zebra mussels that were the future scourge of the world? Is there a distribution list I can get on to keep up? Have you ever seen a zebra mussel and this killer weed stuff in the same room? ---
**Author:** ![Mycroft\_Holmes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a5b964/32.png) [@Mycroft\_Holmes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mycroft_Holmes)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/35 "2004-12-15T12:18:41Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > To think about all the time and effort we wasted arguing politics when in fact our doom was sealed by a **German aquatic horticultural concern** … Kind of a funny way to describe a zoo. I mean, not for nothing is it called the _Wilhelmina Zoo_. Wilhelmina (named after some long-dead princess of Wuertemberg) is the name of the park where the zoo is. Then again, Stuttgart is the home of Daimler-Benz (now part of Daimler-Chrysler). Maybe they have some kind of secret deal with ELF-Aquitaine (thus the connection to France) to use Caulerpa Taxifolia as an energy source once the oil has run out? ---
**Author:** ![Grey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Grey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/36 "2004-12-15T12:28:33Z")
> [@Michael Ellis](#): > > Have you ever seen a zebra mussel and this killer weed stuff in the same room? Maybe they’ve already come to an understanding. Whose sphere do you want to be in? ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Boods](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5e9695/32.png) [@Ms\_Boods](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Boods)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/37 "2004-12-15T13:24:35Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > German aquatic horticultural concern a Do they have any moistened bints on the payroll? ---
**Author:** ![RTA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b4bc9f/32.png) [@RTA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTA)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/38 "2004-12-15T13:59:34Z")
Isn’t that episode of NOVA like two or three years old already? My goodness, but we are certainly stretching for new things to blame hate and fear the French for. (Are you sure it wasn’t Clinton in that aquarium store?) Good thing the majority of Francophobes don’t watch PBS because if they did there would be a guillotine in Texas. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/39 "2004-12-15T14:04:26Z")
When there is no more room in Monaco…the Caulerpa will walk the Oceans. :eek: Ranchoth (Great…the one time we _need_ Aquaman, the lousy bastard doesn’t exist.) ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/40 "2004-12-15T14:30:08Z")
Hey, that reminds me, the Christmas dinner of the French company I work for is tonight. I’ll be sure to stand up at some point and loudly remind everyone that buying us a nice meal is the least they can do, seeing as how Jacques Cousteau is killing the oceans and all. That should liven things up a bit. Thanks! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909.md?page=3)