# Jacques Cousteau and French Kill Ocean, Destroy World **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 15, 2004, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909 "2004-12-15T02:29:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Chairman\_Pow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/838e76/32.png) [@Chairman\_Pow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chairman_Pow)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/61 "2004-12-16T01:16:39Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > That does it. No more food of any sort! Except I hear those snakeheads are real tasty. Ah, snakeheads, the dinner that eats you. ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Boods](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5e9695/32.png) [@Ms\_Boods](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Boods)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/62 "2004-12-16T01:44:08Z")
> [@Eonwe](#): > > Yeah, but they were arrested for sword-throwing. Ah - -now we see the violence inherent in the system. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/63 "2004-12-16T01:55:57Z")
Jacques Cousteau and French Kill Ocean, Destroy World, Women and Minorities Hardest Hit. ---
**Author:** ![Gadfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/aeb1de/32.png) [@Gadfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadfly)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/64 "2004-12-16T02:35:13Z")
> [@Eonwe](#): > > Yeah, but they were arrested for sword-throwing. Once. In 1960. For 20 minutes. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/65 "2004-12-16T16:56:24Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > I stopped eating filter feeders when a buddy told of how he can now see 30 feet (9 meters) down in Lake Michigan thanks to them. I don’t want to eat what used to be murking up the world’s water. But all that muck sure made them damn tasty! Mmm … muck-fed lobster. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/66 "2004-12-17T07:04:50Z")
They make muck lobster? I’ve only seen muck crab for sale although I’ve heard about muck turtle soup. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/67 "2004-12-17T08:31:54Z")
Of course the seaweed stands no chance once Joe Stalin’s Communist Crabs get that far south. Already they are all up and down the North Sea. (Then you know about Goreing’s Nazi Raccoons?) ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/68 "2004-12-17T08:45:05Z")
> [@lizardling](#): > > Nuthin’ to say, ‘ceptin’ I haven’t eaten all day due to insanity at work (ceptin’ a couple sodas and a couple mini-hershey-bite bars) and I am now struck with a right powerful hankerin’ for some nori. You know, the kind that looks like green wet confetti, and comes with sesame seeds on top. _drool_ > > Unfortunately, turning this plant stuff into sushi fixin’s won’t work, I see… _le sigh_ Goes GREAT with fugu! ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/69 "2004-12-17T10:07:25Z")
We should probably genetically engineer a voracious toxin-immune herbivorous fish. When there are too many of those, we should engineer a voracious toxin-immune carnivorous fish with a taste for the first fish. Then we should engineer a voracious toxin-immune giant octopus to deal with all the carnivorous fish. Then we could engineer gigantic intelligent sharks with plutonium for blood and a hunger for octopi. Then we could create a race of killer robots to get rid of the sharks. Then we could create an army of autonomous nanites to rip the killer robots apart. Honestly, I don’t see how it could possibly go wrong. ---
**Author:** ![rivulus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/839c29/32.png) [@rivulus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rivulus)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909/70 "2004-12-17T20:24:43Z")
> [@Metacom](#): > > This is the wrong tact. It needs to be marketed as a hip, new-age treatment, not a Quicky-Mart confection. Instead, be the first to open to a Caulerpa Spa, where your customers can take a bath in warm caulerpa leaves, followed by a caulerpa facial wrap, then a caulerpa colon cleansing, and top it off with a delicious Grande Soy Caulerpacinno[sup]TM[/sup]. Charge enough, and pay some celibrities to conspicuously enter and exit the facility at appropriate times, and watch the dough come in. 😃 Not a bad idea, IMO. It could also be marketed as an “all natural” libido enhancer or a weight loss product. Heck, if sexual disfunction can send rhinos to the brink of extinction for the sake of some magical property in their horns, then maybe it will work for Caulerpa. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jacques-cousteau-and-french-kill-ocean-destroy-world/279909.md?page=3)