# JamieMcGarry - Wheel yourself on down here

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jamiemcgarry-wheel-yourself-on-down-here/594050>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [August 25, 2011, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jamiemcgarry-wheel-yourself-on-down-here/594050 "2011-08-25T16:11:49Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 43

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**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\
**Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jamiemcgarry-wheel-yourself-on-down-here/594050/841 "2012-02-15T15:38:26Z")

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> [@Ambivalid](#):
>
> [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=14771868&postcount=143](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=14771868&postcount=143)

> [@Guinastasia](#):
>
> _sigh_ No, I mean what you said before you decided to pull your little passive-aggressive, “thought better of returning to this thread” bullshit. Jesus.

In his defense (I know, I know), I think \*\*Amby \*\* was trying to show that despite the conventional wisdom of this thread, he didn’t actually ever tell \*\*Frank \*\*that his sister was “in a better place” in a biblical sense, but rather “no longer living the hell on earth that has been her addiction for so many years” which really doesn’t imply “she’s up in heaven now” unless you’re really stretching to find that kind of meaning.

I think the real problem w/ the way he phrased his condolences was the first part of his post when he said “Hey man, at least you know…”. It comes off as a bit flippant and condescending.

I think Jamie’s post was a sincere and kind gesture of comfort, even if it came off poorly.

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**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\
**Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jamiemcgarry-wheel-yourself-on-down-here/594050/842 "2012-02-15T15:49:33Z")

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> [@Ambivalid](#):
>
> [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=14770988&postcount=106](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=14770988&postcount=106)
> 
> [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=14771868&postcount=143](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=14771868&postcount=143)
> 
> This poster echoed the exact same sentiments as I did yet not a single person seemed to take issue with her post. Why is this?

Because the bereaved person didn’t take issue with **PunditLisa** ’s post. If he’s not pissed, we have no right to be. And if he is pissed, then the only thing you should do is apologize, and let it drop.

Here’s the quote that really made you out to be an insensitive moron:

> [@My sister has been murdered](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-sister-has-been-murdered/612731/157):
>
> All I was going to say was of course I don’t think murder is better than being an addict. Good grief no. Just that she is no longer in pain. **I’m not sure why you are acting like I’ve done something wrong here.** I’m just offering my condolences like everyone else. I really didn’t mean to further upset you.

(My bolding) THAT’S a completely horrible thing to say to someone who just lost his sister.

Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone shows bad judgement sometime. Figuring out what to say to someone who has suffered a loss isn’t easy. But if you fuck up and the person comes back at you, the only thing to say is “I’m very sorry” and let it drop. NOT toss it back at him as his problem that he didn’t take it the way you thought you meant it.

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