# Jan 6 NYC Dopefest: Official Countdown(Linked! Don't Delete!) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 16, 2000, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jan-6-nyc-dopefest-official-countdown-linked-dont-delete/45929 "2000-12-16T19:37:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jan-6-nyc-dopefest-official-countdown-linked-dont-delete/45929/81 "2000-12-22T14:46:08Z")
**Green Bean** > [@](#): > > Billdo’s my brother, man! Would you want your sister to call herself Jilldo? If she really wants to, sure! Then again, my sister is 15 years old. 😉 MR ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jan-6-nyc-dopefest-official-countdown-linked-dont-delete/45929/82 "2000-12-22T15:00:32Z")
“Posses will be forming soon, so it would be best for them to appear voluntarily before they are dragged in.” Oh, for goodness sake, put away the tar and feathers . . . I have been keeping a ladylike silent because I shan’t be able to attend, but do “drink some gin or miff some snow” in my memory. —“Little Charley Ross” ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jan-6-nyc-dopefest-official-countdown-linked-dont-delete/45929/83 "2000-12-22T15:02:17Z")
Not thinking about the goat but I do have the bull whip you requested. I am married but am leaving the wife at home. You think I am going to expose her to this bunch?!?!! HA! PS Bull whips make great cat toys. ---
**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jan-6-nyc-dopefest-official-countdown-linked-dont-delete/45929/84 "2000-12-22T15:21:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Billdo \* > Wonko the Sane > [sup]but crazy about SwimmingRiddles[/sup] > \*\* Umm… ---
**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jan-6-nyc-dopefest-official-countdown-linked-dont-delete/45929/85 "2000-12-22T15:38:30Z")
Swiddles is bringing a /guest/ so I am assuming that it’s an S.O. I’m afraid my craziness/sanity ratio will be quite irrelavant. ---
**Author:** ![SaxFace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@SaxFace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaxFace)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jan-6-nyc-dopefest-official-countdown-linked-dont-delete/45929/86 "2000-12-22T15:41:55Z")
Ok, I’ll be there. I was supposed to be in Atlantic City that weekend, but will come back Saturday afternoon to attend the party. I’m working on Alphagene - place your bets on him attending. People can stay at my house if need be. It’s not luxury and it’s in Brooklyn, but I have two saxophones and lots of floor space. See you all next year. ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jan-6-nyc-dopefest-official-countdown-linked-dont-delete/45929/87 "2000-12-22T15:54:21Z")
Maybe we can visit **Biggirl** s place and see this [Ingot of gold](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=52216) she’s got, and check out her missing limb the Gold Fairy took as well! ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jan-6-nyc-dopefest-official-countdown-linked-dont-delete/45929/88 "2000-12-22T16:10:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by soulsling \* > \*\*😃 > > Have I mentioned the things I can do with my tongue **Falcon**? > 😉 > Man is my bed comfortable!\*\* Oh. My. But would the girlfriend MIND you showing me what you can do with that tongue? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jan-6-nyc-dopefest-official-countdown-linked-dont-delete/45929/89 "2000-12-22T18:19:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > **I shan’t be able to attend** Come on, Eve. You can do better than that. We won’t let you get away without at some witty and creative excuse (and maybe not even then). Anyway, this dopefest is your best chance to make a grand entrance among your adoring fans. And we promise to seat you in the most smoke-free part of the resturant. Besides, how could you resist a speakeasy with such a literary history. Biggirl and Eve both remaining quiet. What is this board coming to. Sheesh! (By the way, I am in the middle of reading _Vamp_. Another compelling story about a little-known actress. You really should do a book on early movie/film publicity stunts. I loved the teaser in the prologue and the explanation in the text of the book. The photos are great particularly the cover shot.) ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jan-6-nyc-dopefest-official-countdown-linked-dont-delete/45929/90 "2000-12-22T18:23:00Z")
**Tripler** , Since you wanted to know where I was coming from, I live in southern Rockland County, and would be getting on the PIP at around Exit 6 and taking the GWB and on down the west side of Manhattan (the island, not the moderator). Not that I have to if someone needs a ride, but that’s the most direct way for me. Are you aware of anyone in this vicinity who could use a ride? Lemme know, I can fit at least 3, maybe 4 others in my Corsica. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jan-6-nyc-dopefest-official-countdown-linked-dont-delete/45929/91 "2000-12-22T19:00:08Z")
OK, Billdo. I can’t make it because Jan. 6 is when I make my debut as a “Girl Hero” at Tony Pastor’s Music Hall on 14th Street. I wear a tweed suit, straw boater and poncy little moustache, and I sing “I’m Gilbert the Filbert, the Colonel of the Knuts.” You’re all welcome to come see me, if you promise not to throw rotten fuit. [Glad you’re enjoying “Vamp!”] ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jan-6-nyc-dopefest-official-countdown-linked-dont-delete/45929/92 "2000-12-22T20:08:33Z")
Hey, Soul: I went from futon to Swiddlebed. Have you experianced the “I’m more then three inches off the ground” vertigo yet? I swear to God it’s a miracle I didn’t fall out of bed that first two weeks. Congrats. I’ll never go back to futoning. And FWIW, the guest will not be an S.O. Partly because I’m pining after just announced that he “really, really” likes this girl he started seeing, and partly because I think you’d be mad to bring an SO whom you’re not comitted to life to a Dopefest. Anyone with a survival instinct and without a ring on their finger would take one look at the group and run for higher ground. Besides which, I still don’t know if I’ll be bringing a guest. (I fear what Bill will do with this post) But I got the weekend off work. So granted that I can get a hold of my godfather, I’m a definate! ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jan-6-nyc-dopefest-official-countdown-linked-dont-delete/45929/93 "2000-12-22T20:12:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SwimmingRiddles \* > Partly because \*\* the guy \*\* I need a nap. And a noun. ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jan-6-nyc-dopefest-official-countdown-linked-dont-delete/45929/94 "2000-12-23T06:40:53Z")
**OFFICIAL COUNTDOWN TO NYC DOPEFEST VI: GIDDINESS WITH THE GOAT** **Two Weeks, One Day and counting** As we begin today’s episode of _As the Dopefest Turns_, Nacho4Sara is at work at her giant Swedish housewares emporium, wishing she could take her [customers](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=31969) and force their heads into the automatic drawer closing machine and dreaming of being chained by the ankles and bearing bells in interesting places. Lurkernomore soon arrives bearing suggestions of where she can indulge her fantasies (perhaps with OpalCat’s [waiter](http://fathom.org/opalcat/diary/waiter2.jpg)). Zebra joins in, boasting of his proficiency with the bullwhip, but his explanation of how he uses it with his cat when his wife is away leaves them a tad perturbed. :eek: Elsewhere, Tripler and DAVEW0071 are trying to arrange an assignation on the highways of Northern New Jersey. At the same time, SaxFace is plotting her return from Southern Jersey and “working on Alphagene.” Falcon, meanwhile, is coyly winking at Billdo, causing soulsling to come raging back, boasting of his triple-tufted mattress and making claims about his lingual proficiency. Hoping to distract Billdo, he chides him for his failure to provide details on the museum tour. Falcon, however, throws back in soulsling’s face his “bisexual” girlfriend, who has now joined a convent in Michigan. Wonko the Sane, initially struck dumb with thoughts of SwimmingRiddles, is brought back to earth by the thought that the guest Swiddles is bringing is probably more than a guest. Swiddles, however, has just had her heart crushed by the object of her desires, who has run off with some cheap floozy. Nonetheless, despite her despair, she still taunts Wonko, by sharing with soulsling her stories of “breaking in” her new bed (and the multiple times her nocturnal activities almost sent her flying out of it). Eve, trying to elude her pursuers, and cornered after her first feeble dash to escape, attempts to throw them off by pointing them to a music hall on 14th Street. However, her pursuers are not so easily fooled, having been previously been informed (through some trashy theater [bio](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0813121531/o/qid=977551993) with a garish pink cover) that the theater she’s trying to send them to is actually the 1881 birthplace of New York vaudeville, and not her current nighttime hangout. They realize that the song and dance routine she’s trying to feed them has been around since at least [1914](http://www.musicalheaven.com/g/girl_from_utah.shtml). Will Eve escape from the villains trying to drag her to the dopefest? Will Wonko still be sane when Swiddles gets through with him? Will Falcon uncover the joys of soulsling’s triple-tufting? Will Nacho4Sara break out from under her sofa covers? Find out next time on _As the Dopefest Turns_. ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jan-6-nyc-dopefest-official-countdown-linked-dont-delete/45929/95 "2000-12-23T16:14:54Z")
> [@](#): > > **Wonko the Sane, initially struck dumb with thoughts of SwimmingRiddles, is brought back to earth by the thought that the guest Swiddles is bringing is probably more than a guest. Swiddles, however, has just had her heart crushed by the object of her desires, who has run off with some cheap floozy. Nonetheless, despite her despair, she still taunts Wonko, by sharing with soulsling her stories of “breaking in” her new bed (and the multiple times her nocturnal activities almost sent her flying out of it).** So… **Falcon** and **Swiddles** can both stay in my bed if that pleases them, and Wonko, if your’e nice, maybe you as well… We can all _break it in_ together. [sub]_hint_[/sub] …after the Museum tour is of course planned?!? [sup]_winks at **Billdo** _[/sup] ---
**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2000, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jan-6-nyc-dopefest-official-countdown-linked-dont-delete/45929/96 "2000-12-24T04:08:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by soulsling \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > **Wonko the Sane, initially struck dumb with thoughts of SwimmingRiddles, is brought back to earth by the thought that the guest Swiddles is bringing is probably more than a guest. Swiddles, however, has just had her heart crushed by the object of her desires, who has run off with some cheap floozy. Nonetheless, despite her despair, she still taunts Wonko, by sharing with soulsling her stories of “breaking in” her new bed (and the multiple times her nocturnal activities almost sent her flying out of it).** > > So… **Falcon** and **Swiddles** can both stay in my bed if that pleases them, and Wonko, if your’e nice, maybe you as well… We can all _break it in_ together. > > [sub]_hint_[/sub] > …after the Museum tour is of course planned?!? > [sup]_winks at **Billdo** _[/sup] \*\* eeerrrrmmmmmnnn. I have no clever comments. I seem to have no comments at all. Tune in next time, when Wonko says something clever and funny. ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2000, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jan-6-nyc-dopefest-official-countdown-linked-dont-delete/45929/97 "2000-12-24T05:45:11Z")
**OFFICIAL COUNTDOWN TO NYC DOPEFEST VI: BOOZING NEAR BARROW ST.** **Two Weeks and counting** In today’s news update, Wonko the Sane has no clever comments, and neither does your faithful editor. G’nite all. ---
**Author:** ![Nacho4Sara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Nacho4Sara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nacho4Sara)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2000, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jan-6-nyc-dopefest-official-countdown-linked-dont-delete/45929/98 "2000-12-24T21:09:53Z")
Is it okay if I bring my best friend? Her name is Gladys, she’s very laidback and adaptable. I asked her if she wanted to come and this was the conversation: Gladys: When is it? Sarah: Januray 6th and 7th. Gladys: Do I have to dress up? Sarah: No. Gladys: Okay! I warned her about you guys but she’s not scared, so I think she will fare well. Our plan is to take the bus at 9pm, arrive around 12, chill for a few hours, then make our way downtown. We could get a hotel or sleep on someone’s floor - no big deal. If she doesn’t come, I’ll be wandering around the Big Bad Scary City all alone. See you there! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2000, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jan-6-nyc-dopefest-official-countdown-linked-dont-delete/45929/99 "2000-12-24T22:37:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nacho4Sara \* > \*\*Is it okay if I bring my best friend? Her name is Gladys, > I warned her about you guys but she’s not scared > \*\* \ She should be. \ ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2000, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jan-6-nyc-dopefest-official-countdown-linked-dont-delete/45929/100 "2000-12-25T00:20:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DAVEW0071 \* > \*\ ***Tripler** , > > Are you aware of anyone in this vicinity who could use a ride? Lemme know, I can fit at least 3, maybe 4 others in my Corsica. \*\* Hmm, I’m not aware of anyone. I live in Northwest Bergen County (Ramsey), so I’d shepherd anyone along via NJ Transit. I personally think the train is easier, and it lets me drink heavily and still get home. Lemme know if you need help with anything. . . Tripler One nut short of a bolt. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jan-6-nyc-dopefest-official-countdown-linked-dont-delete/45929.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jan-6-nyc-dopefest-official-countdown-linked-dont-delete/45929.md?page=6)