# jarbabyj can Eat My Poo **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 1, 2001, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarbabyj-can-eat-my-poo/74511 "2001-08-01T18:43:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarbabyj-can-eat-my-poo/74511/1 "2001-08-01T18:43:20Z")
I made the mistake, after jarbabyj [complained](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=1477576#post1477576) about continuous back problems and her frustration at getting proper care, of suggesting a course of action which might result in a positive resolution. You can see for yourself how that was received. Fine, don’t take my advice, bitch. Why should my years of experience working for insurance companies, solving problems JUST LIKE YOURS, matter? I don’t know what you’ve been doing for the past three years, besides pissing and moaning about your fucking bad back. And I don’t care any more what you’ve been doing for the last three years either. Suffer with your bad back instead of using the brains God gave a rat and find yourself another doctor, dumbass. I talk with 60 or 70 people every day who are too stupid to figure out how their insurance works; I sure as hell don’t need to waste my time trying to help you figure it out. Anybody who can’t figure out after three years how to GET A SECOND OPINION isn’t worth my time anyway. ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarbabyj-can-eat-my-poo/74511/2 "2001-08-01T19:18:23Z")
Holy crap, My overreact-o-meter is about to explode! Damn you Otto, I just had this thing tuned and along you come… ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarbabyj-can-eat-my-poo/74511/3 "2001-08-01T19:21:26Z")
Holy mother of Christ. This is going to be GOOD. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarbabyj-can-eat-my-poo/74511/4 "2001-08-01T19:21:39Z")
Take three seconds out of your day. Research the fifty thousand threads I’ve started on this subject which included finding a new doctor and getting a second opinion. I’ve been to…five doctors regarding my slipped discs. After you read those threads, come over to my house and suck my clit. It’s the only thing that makes it feel better. ta. ---
**Author:** ![Simetra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Simetra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simetra)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarbabyj-can-eat-my-poo/74511/5 "2001-08-01T19:26:42Z")
And here I was expecting something funny… 😛 FWIW **Otto** , both your OP and this post are pretty poorly written. Maybe you should try doing a little research first before you write. That whole, “Look before you leap” thing. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarbabyj-can-eat-my-poo/74511/6 "2001-08-01T19:26:51Z")
Otto: I think your overpressure release valve is jammed. try gently tapping it with a screwdriver. If that doesn’t work, I think you’ll have to scram the reactor core or risk meltdown. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarbabyj-can-eat-my-poo/74511/7 "2001-08-01T19:31:41Z")
I disagree. Sounded to me like you were quick to jump anyone’s shit if they didn’t agree with you. You may work in the insurance field, and I myself have done so in the past. It doesn’t make you a fucking doctor. Personally, I think I’d trust Qadop or whatever the hell he calls himself (:)). Call it a quirk, but when it comes to medical procedures, I’d trust a doctor before I trusted an employee of an insurance company. I don’t know you, nor do I know jarbaby, but I do know that she’s not normally one to cry “wolf.” I suggest that you go back and re-read that post from an objective point of view. Maybe you’ll see that you were trolling for a fight rather than start slamming jarbaby for listening to physicians. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarbabyj-can-eat-my-poo/74511/8 "2001-08-01T19:32:24Z")
I think a Full SCRAM is called for here. Shut 'er down quick, or you’ll pop the safety valves… ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarbabyj-can-eat-my-poo/74511/9 "2001-08-01T19:33:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\* > After you read those threads, come over to my house and suck my clit. > > It’s the only thing that makes it feel better. > > ta. \*\* Ooh! Ooh! Can I? ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarbabyj-can-eat-my-poo/74511/10 "2001-08-01T19:38:40Z")
Jarbabyj, you know you only have Agamemmnon and the unfortunately unseen “pillaging scenes” to blame for your back problems. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarbabyj-can-eat-my-poo/74511/11 "2001-08-01T19:40:26Z")
Tut mir leid. One more thing Otto: > [@](#): > > I can’t say as I understand why you’d beg for back surgery with one breath then praise your chiropractor with the other. :: cough :: I’M TRYING TO CURE MY FUCKING BACK PAIN APETIT, I’m begging for anything that will do that…if a fucking witch doctor said I had to go felate a grey whale, I’d do it to make my back feel better. They doctor concluded I don’t need surgery because it’s too ‘drastic’, which is fine I suppose, even though three years of pain should call for drastic action, and now they’ve given me more and various pills instead of sending me to a chiropractor which has helped me in the past. I’ll be going to the sixth doctor on September 5th, which I can’t see until September 5th because the almighty insurance Gods, of which you are apparently one, need thirty one days alone with their brains to confirm a doctor change! GOOD THING I DON’T HAVE AN INOPERABLE BRAIN TUMOR, EH? Red Tape! It keeps the world together, right? jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![OxyMoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9a140/32.png) [@OxyMoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OxyMoron)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarbabyj-can-eat-my-poo/74511/12 "2001-08-01T19:49:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > > **…FUCKING BACK PAIN APETIT…** Y’know, Jarbaby, at first I thought this was something the hostess of a French BDSM whorehouse might say to a client… as in, “Fucking Back Pain Ap-peh-TEET!” I’ll be quiet now. Which, incidently, would be wise course of action for Otto, too… ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarbabyj-can-eat-my-poo/74511/13 "2001-08-01T20:01:01Z")
Oh, yeah. When I’m injured, the first person I run to isn’t my doctor – it’s the janitor at the local health insurance company. He’s worked there for several years, so his opinion HAS to be the correct one, right? ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarbabyj-can-eat-my-poo/74511/14 "2001-08-01T20:02:02Z")
```auto package Otto; sub new { bless $self = { HEAD => [], BRAIN => undef, FACE => 'big fuckin zits', ASS => 'too fuckin hairy' }; return $self; } $dork = new Otto; push @{$dork->{'HEAD'}, $dork->{'ASS'}; ``` Sorry…posting from work, ya know. Have to look like I’m writing _useful_ code. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarbabyj-can-eat-my-poo/74511/15 "2001-08-01T20:05:45Z")
Goddamn this board! (crowd: “Too late!”) I had a great retort to the OP typed up and the board ate it. Suffice to say, I think that Otto is a douchebag and I don’t see why his “debate” even was allowed to stay in GD. It was clearly written just to get a rise out of people. > [@](#): > > if a fucking witch doctor said I had to go felate a grey whale, I’d do it to make my back feel better. You know what, it works for like an hour, then you’re right back to where you started. Bummer. Zette ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarbabyj-can-eat-my-poo/74511/16 "2001-08-01T20:09:24Z")
Oh, I forgot: > [@](#): > > After you read those threads, come over to my house and suck my clit. > > It’s the only thing that makes it feel better. **THAT** part you got exactly correct. Smart girl! Maybe we need to form a back pain support group. Hmmmmm…Oh, the possibilities! ::Zette wanders away with a devilish look on her face:: ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarbabyj-can-eat-my-poo/74511/17 "2001-08-01T20:14:08Z")
I’d just like to chime in and say that I’m newly available, and have a deep-seated desire to help women with their back pain. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarbabyj-can-eat-my-poo/74511/18 "2001-08-01T20:21:14Z")
Hell, I’m a chick, and _I_ wanna suck jarbaby’s clit! So to get an invitation, it takes a rant? I’m sure your clit is so bootielicious it more than makes up for your back problems. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarbabyj-can-eat-my-poo/74511/19 "2001-08-01T20:27:08Z")
Good lord! Sometimes it’s the cause! 😃 jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarbabyj-can-eat-my-poo/74511/20 "2001-08-01T20:35:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*if a fucking witch doctor said I had to go felate a grey whale, I’d do it to make my back feel better. \*\* Part XII, in which jarbabyj accidentally invents a newage therapy. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarbabyj-can-eat-my-poo/74511.md?page=2)