# Jarbaby's Want Ad **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 3, 2001, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarbabys-want-ad/96627 "2001-12-03T15:14:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarbabys-want-ad/96627/21 "2001-12-04T00:10:44Z")
**1. What do YOU bring to the table in terms of assets, gifts, talents?** Well, I just got a big raise. And as a good American, I am going to follow President Bush’s instructions and spend every freaking dime of it. Preferably on gifts and expensive dinners and travel. You like foie gras, yes? Would you like it better in Paris? Also, I’m boatloads of fun, having been described as a “walking party” by no less than **TubaDiva**. I possess other talents which we can discuss as we move along in the process. **2. What is your experience in breaking up marriages and sending women into a spiral of sin?** In a million years, I could never cause the breakup of a marriage. Nope, after that year, you will go back to the Jarhusband without a scintilla of guilt about leaving me. Well, you go back as soon as the marks heal, anyway. **3. Do you fit Jarbaby’s criteria in any way (i.e. German, smoker, green eyes, muscular, dominant, swimmer…welder…mod)** My last name is vaguely Germanic. I smoke Camel non-filters. I’m more muscular now than I was a month ago. By February, I might even be reasonably buff. All my stuff was recently left in a cab, but I am an experienced dominant and will be fully re-equipped with toys by the New Year. I am a mod. **4. And what do you expect of JARBABY in the relationship. (and it better not be much)** An open mind and a sense of adventure. Some other stuff, but again, we’ll discuss those as the things move forward. ---
**Author:** ![Osip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4491bb/32.png) [@Osip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osip)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarbabys-want-ad/96627/22 "2001-12-04T03:29:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\* > > 1. What do YOU bring to the table in terms of assets, gifts, talents.\*\* > All that is Osip > \*\* > 2. What is your experience in breaking up marriages and sending women into a spiral of sin? > \*\* Multiple referances can be supplied upon request. > Although I will deny in public any such knowledge or ability.\*\* > 3. Do you fit Jarbaby’s criteria in any way: \*\* > **a)German:** Nope I am Dutch > **b)smoker:** Yep Pack a day > **c)green eyes:** Well they are hazel, they turn green when I am sleepy or very horney. > **d)muscular:** Yep I reckon I would be considered good eating by many cannibal tribes. > \*\*e)dominant:\*\*I know how to take charge and have no problems with it. > **f)swimmer:** Yes,as though I have fins. > **g)welder** Not proffesionally but do own my own Mig welder for the times I do need to weld with my occupation > **h)mod)** Thankfully no. > \*\* > 4. And what do you expect of JARBABY in the relationship. (and it better not be much) \*\* > Well, I could always use my very own SDMB stalker. Little effort indeed since your prowling the boards anyhow. > Also, I have a National Convention I have to attend in Chicago in July 2002 and having a local tour guild would be handy. > \*\* > You must understand that I will continue to be married to Mr. Jar and we are a delightfully happy and stable couple with a lovely, satisfying love life. And once I hit the eighth anniversary, pal, you’re outta here.\*\* > > No Problem. > \*\* > Thank you. > > jarbaby \*\* ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarbabys-want-ad/96627/23 "2001-12-04T14:55:47Z")
And now the applications are rolling in. Thank you, and let me say, certainly, women may apply to be my mistress. jar ---
**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarbabys-want-ad/96627/24 "2001-12-04T15:37:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > > 1. What do YOU bring to the table in terms of assets, gifts, talents. > > 2. What is your experience in breaking up marriages and sending women into a spiral of sin? > > 3. Do you fit Jarbaby’s criteria in any way (i.e. German, smoker, green eyes, muscular, dominant, swimmer…welder…mod) > > 4. And what do you expect of JARBABY in the relationship. (and it better not be much) 1. Assets, what you want to know how much I’m worth? Well I have a good job. Oh wait I get it you wanna know about other things huh? Well I’m averaged sized so I’ve been told but I’ve been learning a lot of control so I can last for quite awhile, usually anyway. I guess that falls under talents too huh? if you wanna gift you’ll have to tell me what and I’ll bring it. 1. I’ve broken up one marriage and shown her all sorts of strange sexual things, bondage, anal sex you know the good stuff. 2. I’m European, I have all sorts in me and can pass for damn near any European Nationality. Plus I can speak a little German. I don’t mind smoking, I don’t but I can, hell I can even blow it out my nose without a problem. I sometimes smoke cigars and a pipe too. Sorry I have brown eyes, damn. I’m a swimmer though, usually swim 2-3 times a week, and sometimes compeate too. Not a mod or a welder though, but I am very dominate, at least in bed. 1. I don’t want a damn thing and don’t have a problem with you going right back to your husband. A little more about me, I’m 6’2", around 200 pounds, ride a motorcycle, love heavy metal music, have long brown wavey hair that the women love. This is one of the few pics of me [in the middle of nowhere](http://www.sampson-sporttouring.com/gerlach/DSCN0030-2-r.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarbabys-want-ad/96627/25 "2001-12-04T16:25:56Z")
I shouldn’t have to apply. After all, I made _ **THE LIST** _ after the first ChiDope. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarbabys-want-ad/96627.md?page=1)