# Jarheads! Dog Faces! Squids! Zoomies! (Coasties too, what the hell) FALL IN! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 26, 2005, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarheads-dog-faces-squids-zoomies-coasties-too-what-the-hell-fall-in/286665 "2005-01-26T00:05:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarheads-dog-faces-squids-zoomies-coasties-too-what-the-hell-fall-in/286665/1 "2005-01-26T00:05:04Z")
Ladies, Gentlemen and Marines, WELCOME to the SDMB Unit Run! We will be taking a short morale run around the post (heh) in celebration of January 25th! :: pretends to ignore several “UUuuurps!” and “'oooo-Rahs!” from among the formation :: For the next three minutes you will stretch your military muscles in preperation of this run. Ready STRETCH :: tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock … :: FALL IN! Riiiiiiiiiiiiight FACE Forward MARCH Left . . . Left . . . Left Right . . . . . . DOUBLE TIME . . MARCH! Left . . . Left . . . Left Right **Sgt Inigo:** Son got hit by a mortar round **Joint Forces:** Dooh Dah, Dooh Dah **SI:** There’s pieces of him that’ll never be found **JF:** Oh Dooh Dah Day, Mama don’t you stress, your son’s a bloody mess, we’ll send him home in a body bag, Oh Dooh Dah Day **SI:** Son got fried by Willie Pete\* **Joint Forces:** Dooh Dah, Dooh Dah **SI:** Now he smells like burger meat **JF:** Oh Dooh Dah Day, Mama don’t you stress, your son’s a bloody mess, we’ll send him home in a body bag, Oh Dooh Dah Day **SI:** Son got hit by a frag grenade **Joint Forces:** Dooh Dah, Dooh Dah **SI:** Now he looks like marmelade **JF:** Oh Dooh Dah Day, Mama don’t you stress, your son’s a bloody mess, we’ll send him home in a body bag, Oh Dooh Dah Day That’s all I got right now folks. If any former/current military types care to call some cadence please help us out. If you’re really good I’ll do my “Cocoa Butter” double time song for you! \*“Willie Pete” = charming nickname for white phosphorous incendiary weaponry ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarheads-dog-faces-squids-zoomies-coasties-too-what-the-hell-fall-in/286665/2 "2005-01-26T00:40:55Z")
Some of my more favorite ones: I wanna be a Grill Instructor, I wanna wear a paper hat! Flippin’ burgers, cookin’ hot dogs, makin’ French Fries is where it’s at! Secretary is runnin’ her lip, Chairborne Ranger gonna take a little trip. Stand up, shuffle, run out the door, Look at the clock it’s a-ten to four. PowerPoint Ranger saves the day, when the Colonel asks about the “MPA”. Tripler CHAIRBORNE! ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarheads-dog-faces-squids-zoomies-coasties-too-what-the-hell-fall-in/286665/3 "2005-01-26T00:45:14Z")
Aw shit, forgot the last two lines to PowerPoint Ranger: The projector’s down, but the server’s okay, 12-megabyte e-mail is on it’s way. . . Tripler A true, real-life PowerPoint Ranger. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarheads-dog-faces-squids-zoomies-coasties-too-what-the-hell-fall-in/286665/4 "2005-01-26T01:23:54Z")
A little bird With a yellow bill, He sat upon, My windowsill. I coaxed him in With a piece of bread, And then I stomped his little head. _When They Tried to Make a WAC Outta Me_ To the tune of Battle Hymn They took away my freedom and they made me wear a bra They took away my freedom and they made me wear a bra They took away my freedom and they made me wear a bra When they tried to make a WAC outta me They took away my beercan and they gave me my canteen… They took away my boyfriend and they made me sleep alone… ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Rhosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@Sir\_Rhosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Rhosis)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarheads-dog-faces-squids-zoomies-coasties-too-what-the-hell-fall-in/286665/5 "2005-01-26T01:48:28Z")
Jeez, I’m entering my third decade since my Marine Corps days, so I forget most of them. One really dirge-like one went: Mamma, mama, can’t you see What the Marine Corps has done to me Shaved my head and shaved my face Made me part of the human race and of course the one even more civilian scum knows: I know a girl who lives on a hill She won’t do it, but her sister will Lo-right-left Lefty-right-left Lo-right-left Love to doubletime Cpl. Rhosis, USMC ---
**Author:** ![Volta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ce73a5/32.png) [@Volta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Volta)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarheads-dog-faces-squids-zoomies-coasties-too-what-the-hell-fall-in/286665/6 "2005-01-26T02:23:37Z")
Aaaaaaaone! Went to Vietnam Two! Dropped a lot of bombs Three! Smoked a lot of grass Four! Kicked a lot of ass One, Kill, Two, Kill, Three, Kill, Four, Kill One, Two, Three, Four United States Marine Corps I got a kick out of that one at boot camp. PFC Volta, USMC ---
**Author:** ![Bluesman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/97f17d/32.png) [@Bluesman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluesman)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarheads-dog-faces-squids-zoomies-coasties-too-what-the-hell-fall-in/286665/7 "2005-01-26T02:42:18Z")
If I die in San Antone Make them send my body home In the coffin I will lie Grounded to inspection side ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarheads-dog-faces-squids-zoomies-coasties-too-what-the-hell-fall-in/286665/8 "2005-01-26T02:45:24Z")
#58 - The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence: budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we’ve all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid. (From The 213 Things Skippy Is No Longer Allowed To Do In The U.S. Army) ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarheads-dog-faces-squids-zoomies-coasties-too-what-the-hell-fall-in/286665/9 "2005-01-26T02:45:39Z")
Well, it’s the only I remember. Don’t hold it against me: Model A Ford and a tank full o gas… Mouthful o pussy and a handful of ass. I’m a cum-quat baby And I’m comin’ down the line Oh, you better get out of my way now. Or I’ll cum all over you! SrA Jim, United States Chair Force 😃 ---
**Author:** ![unclviny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e274bd/32.png) [@unclviny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/unclviny)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarheads-dog-faces-squids-zoomies-coasties-too-what-the-hell-fall-in/286665/10 "2005-01-26T04:10:15Z")
Used when a group of Femes marched by: Put her right leg over my shoulder! Put her left leg over my shoulder! Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm! Unclviny, U.S. Army (kicked out after 5 weeks, “did not meet procurement requirements for enlistment”) ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarheads-dog-faces-squids-zoomies-coasties-too-what-the-hell-fall-in/286665/11 "2005-01-26T04:24:20Z")
Then there was the day a young lady put an end to dirty cadence: ‘I wish all the men, were ships on the sea, and I were the north wind, I would blow them all for free.’ And the formation got real, real quiet. Priceless memories. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarheads-dog-faces-squids-zoomies-coasties-too-what-the-hell-fall-in/286665/12 "2005-01-26T06:05:02Z")
When my dad had to go on walks to convelesce after his bypass, he asked me to find some marching cadences on this newfangled internet. Searching yeilded a scary-ass load of Nazi CD’s for your marching pleasure. Seeing the sheer volume of it all, it makes ones scared to be circumcized. Anyway, I also stumbled across some charming marching songs, if you don’t mind slowing down to 80 paces per minute: [http://voltigeur1.net/](http://voltigeur1.net/) (click on “songs” in the menu bar at left) ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarheads-dog-faces-squids-zoomies-coasties-too-what-the-hell-fall-in/286665/13 "2005-01-26T12:14:14Z")
> [@Paul in Saudi](#): > > ‘I wish all the men, > were ships on the sea, > and I were the north wind, > I would blow them all for free.’ These were my favorites, but we had to be careful where we did them. A couple more: I wish all the ladies were holes in the road and I was a dump truck I’d fill them with my load. I wish all the ladies were pies on a shelf and I was a baker I’d eat them all myself I can’t imagine why ANYONE would stereotyp the military as sexist, homophobic & mysogonistic! It’s all about love. Civilians just don’t get it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Goob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c77e96/32.png) [@Mr.Goob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Goob)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarheads-dog-faces-squids-zoomies-coasties-too-what-the-hell-fall-in/286665/14 "2005-01-26T15:30:35Z")
Marching? Running? What are you guys talking about? I have a vague memory of 8 weeks doing that stuff. Then 3 years and 10 months of no chickenshit. Mr. Goob- Petty Officer 2nd Class USN ---
**Author:** ![Booker57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Booker57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Booker57)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarheads-dog-faces-squids-zoomies-coasties-too-what-the-hell-fall-in/286665/15 "2005-01-26T16:00:18Z")
Parris Island 1975. I know a girl that lives on a hill. She won’t do it but her sister will. I know a girl with a fourty inch bust. Love to see her bend and thrust. I know a girl all dressed in pink. She’s the one that made my finger stink. Running? Not even for a bus. ---
**Author:** ![Kyyrewyyoae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Kyyrewyyoae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyyrewyyoae)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarheads-dog-faces-squids-zoomies-coasties-too-what-the-hell-fall-in/286665/16 "2005-01-26T18:03:12Z")
A few that the officers wouldn’t let us sing: Burn the town and kill the people throw some napalm in the square do it on a sunday morning kill them on their way to prayer. throw some candy in the schoolyard watch those kiddies gather round lock and load my 50 caliber mow those little fuckers down. And: napalm sticks to little children all the children of the world red and yellow, black and white, they’re the same when they ignite napalm sticks to all the children of the world. A tamer one: My girl’s a vegetable she lives in a hospital and i’d do most anything to keep her alive, yeah she’s got her own tv they call it an EKG and i’d do most anything to keep her alive, yeah she’s got no arms and legs she has only hooks and pegs and i’d do most anything to keep her alive, yeah one day i played a joke pulled the plug and watched her choke and i’d do most anything to keep her alive, yeah Sgt Kyyrewyyoae, USMC ---
**Author:** ![Scruloose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e68b1a/32.png) [@Scruloose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scruloose)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarheads-dog-faces-squids-zoomies-coasties-too-what-the-hell-fall-in/286665/17 "2005-01-26T20:31:26Z")
Well since you’re including Coasties… it’s been 14 years since boot, and the only one I remember: \*SP, SP - Don’t arrest me! Arrest my CC behind that tree… He’s got whiskey, I’ve got wine… …And now he’s making me double time!!\* It’s a shame I can’t remember more; we had some cool ones. Figures I just remeber the one with alcohol in it. Typical of us Hooligan Navy types! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarheads-dog-faces-squids-zoomies-coasties-too-what-the-hell-fall-in/286665/18 "2005-01-26T20:51:42Z")
Ain’t no use in lookin’ down Ain’t no discharge on the ground Mama mama can’t you see What the Army’s done to me See the lady in red She makes her living in the bed (alt: She makes her living giving head) See the lady in black She makes her living on her back See the lady in blue She’ll make a man out of you The “I wish all the ladies” cadence had these lines added: Hey Hey, Babu Riba (hey hey, pass the reefer) I could use some PT now… Ex-Weekend Warrior, sergeant in the PA Army National Guard “infantry leads the way” ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarheads-dog-faces-squids-zoomies-coasties-too-what-the-hell-fall-in/286665/19 "2005-01-26T22:54:01Z")
> [@Tripler](#): > > Some of my more favorite ones: > > I wanna be a Grill Instructor, > I wanna wear a paper hat! > Flippin’ burgers, cookin’ hot dogs, > makin’ French Fries is where it’s at! > > Secretary is runnin’ her lip, > Chairborne Ranger gonna take a little trip. > Stand up, shuffle, run out the door, > Look at the clock it’s a-ten to four. > PowerPoint Ranger saves the day, > when the Colonel asks about the “MPA”. > > Tripler > CHAIRBORNE! Hey **Trip** Here’s another version of that one… It’s one thirty now on the strip Chairborne daddy gonna take a little trip Stand up, lock up, shuffle to the door The club for lunch and home by four If there’s something to decide Close your door and try to hide Every time you get a call You’re out playing racquetball First revise the SOP Make a change in policy Ours is not to wonder why It’s written down in the LOI God forbid we should go to war All that paperwork would be a bore Let me stay behind my desk Anything is better than the leaning rest Chairborne Ranger, that’s what I am One of a kind, I’m an AG man ---
**Author:** ![Spavined\_Gelding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Spavined\_Gelding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spavined_Gelding)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarheads-dog-faces-squids-zoomies-coasties-too-what-the-hell-fall-in/286665/20 "2005-01-27T00:12:02Z")
Not a Jody Cadence but these two commands put some 35 lean, green infantry types into giggling hysterics at Fort Riley in 1965: Second platoon! High diddle-diddle Files from the middle Forward – Harch! and Second Platoon! Put your rifles in neat little piles – Put! Since in six months a fair number of those guys were dead you need to allow them a little grab-ass levity. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jarheads-dog-faces-squids-zoomies-coasties-too-what-the-hell-fall-in/286665.md?page=2)