# Jason Alexander and other black holes of entertainment **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 9, 2005, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-alexander-and-other-black-holes-of-entertainment/316217 "2005-08-09T00:46:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-alexander-and-other-black-holes-of-entertainment/316217/21 "2005-08-09T02:34:44Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Stalin was one of the best dictators out there, I still wouldn’t sing his praises in public… That is not a fair comparison. Stalin’s prop comedy was second-rate at best. And that cheesy moustache? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-alexander-and-other-black-holes-of-entertainment/316217/22 "2005-08-09T02:36:32Z")
Rob Schneider SUCKS. How does that guy have a career? I can’t believe enough people went to that Deuce Gigolo thing to justify a sequal. I’ve also never understood the appeal of Julia Roberts. She’s can’t act at all and I don’t think she has better than average looks. Yet she’s one of the biggest names in Hollywood. I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-alexander-and-other-black-holes-of-entertainment/316217/23 "2005-08-09T02:47:54Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > Lots of interesting entries. Carrot Top certainly gives Alexander a run for his money. > > Put them both in a movie together and people will lose the will to live. Hell, put Carrot Top alone in a [movie](http://imdb.com/title/tt0118836/) and he even manages to make Larry Miller incapable of effectively projecting his trademark cynicism. ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-alexander-and-other-black-holes-of-entertainment/316217/24 "2005-08-09T03:23:59Z")
I’ve heard tell he’s good in theatre. I have no desire to find this out for myself. Even if he’s actually brilliant, he’s still _Jason Alexander_. That voice! It’s like a scalpel repeatedly being jabbed in my ears. The way he moves, those short twitchy movements, just grate on my nerves and instantly suck the patience and tolerance right out of me. I don’t even like how he _breathes_ and, frankly, would be glad if he’d stop. On talk shows he seems like a nice guy but George Costanza is still in there somewhere and I detest him for that abomination. Oh sure, it’s the writers who came up with the character. But I find it very telling he did so well in the role. Once upon a time Carrot Top wasn’t quite so manic and he was almost tolerable. ---
**Author:** ![Shalmanese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shalmanese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shalmanese)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-alexander-and-other-black-holes-of-entertainment/316217/25 "2005-08-09T04:26:50Z")
Anyone who got to bang Britney Spears is okay in my book. ---
**Author:** ![BMax](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bmax/32/4267_2.png) [@BMax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMax)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-alexander-and-other-black-holes-of-entertainment/316217/26 "2005-08-09T04:58:08Z")
> [@Shalmanese](#): > > Anyone who got to bang Britney Spears is okay in my book. Bang her? Hell, he _married_ her. For 55 hours. Oh, you meant the famous Jason Alexander. Actually, I can’t believe it took a whole 5 posts for Martin Lawrence to be mentioned. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-alexander-and-other-black-holes-of-entertainment/316217/27 "2005-08-09T06:24:14Z")
The one I always add to any “totally worthless celebrity” thread is _Carson Daly_ (delendo est). Another vote for Ray Romano (the only member of his sitcom cast I couldn’t stand) Every single cast member of _Road Rules_ or _Real World_ who 1) seems to confuse themself with an “earned” celebrity and 2) is still pathetically showing up on “challenges” a decade after their 15 minutes ended John Davidson (though I have to admit his version of _Cats in the Cradle_ makes me double over laughing- he _acts_ it {we’re talking LIFETIME MOVIE overacting here} and I’d literally recommend it to a community theater acting student who was going to be portraying a lounge singer) Kathy Lee Gifford (fake, stupid and dangerous) Shelley Long (who I think was good as Diane Chambers strictly because she was playing herself, and by most accounts a horror to work with) Jerry Lewis (I can only assume that the perfection of the polio vaccine put everybody in such a good mood that _everything_ was funny) Andy Dick (his success is yet more proof that there is no God) Burt Reynolds (he’s had a couple of moments, but he’s such a bitter old fart that I can’t stand looking at him) ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-alexander-and-other-black-holes-of-entertainment/316217/28 "2005-08-09T06:35:05Z")
Shirley MacLaine (I know she won an Oscar, but does she play any character other than a pissed off middle-aged/old woman? And so full of herself she’s proclaimed her dog a reincarnation of Anubis [in her book _Out on a Leash_]) Victoria Jackson- if she weren’t in show business she’d be trying to sell Tupperware in your office and telling you stories about the dog she had as a child who still makes her cry when she thinks about him- the type who invites herself to lunch with you then bitches about the restaurant Both Coreys (you’re washed up- sucks, happens- go to college, go to truck-driving school, open a laundrymat- you’ll find a lot more dignity than whoring yourself to any camera in view and bitching about your parents) LaToya Jackson Michael Jackson (yes, he was a god once, but he’s fallen from Olympus, hit Hades, and begun digging) Anna Nicole Smith (she amused me for a few minutes— now give her to my troops [though I do think her husband’s family should throw some money at her- Great-Grandpa wasn’t a fool- he wanted a big pair of yabos to play with and he got them, she wanted a sugar daddy and she got one, give her a couple of million and her kid a trust fund and send her away- it might be fun to see how many hours it’ll take her to blow it) Howard Stern (not the talk show host but Anna Nicole Smith’s attorney and the only lawyer to make Geraldo look ethical) Geraldo Rivera- is to journalism what streroid abuse is to baseball (and the only member of the media to be called “a complete sleaze” by Kurt Vonnegut)- his lending exposure and credence of the Satanic Panic destroyed many innocent lives ---
**Author:** ![rorty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b2d939/32.png) [@rorty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rorty)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-alexander-and-other-black-holes-of-entertainment/316217/29 "2005-08-09T06:35:35Z")
I’ve seen Carrot Top. I _paid_ to see Carrot Top. I saw him while I was in Las Vegas. It was enjoyable… far more enjoyable than Tony Danza’s stage show would have been. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-alexander-and-other-black-holes-of-entertainment/316217/30 "2005-08-09T06:44:41Z")
(Tony Danza has a stage show?) Melanie Griffith singlehandedly ruined at least three movies I can think of. Jessica Lange has done likewise (her “I’m gonna talk in a raspy voice AND NOW TALK IN A DIFFERENT PITCH AND TEMPO and now go back to a raspy voice AND THEN RECYCLE” spiel has saved her from having to act in several movies). Good call on all the SNL crowd (especially Ferrell, Fallon [who if he weren’t cute would be sharing a place with Hutsell by now] and Schneider [who in addition to being talentless comes across as one of the stupidest celebrities out there in interviews]). David Spade- he’s made millions by perfecting a bitchy smirk. How? ---
**Author:** ![rorty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b2d939/32.png) [@rorty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rorty)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-alexander-and-other-black-holes-of-entertainment/316217/31 "2005-08-09T07:58:31Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > (Tony Danza has a stage show?) That’s exactly what I said when I first become aware of it. Although I recall saying it with a bit more exclamation and confusion with dizziness ensuing. Apparently it’s some sort of song and dance (possibly tap?) show. It was plastered all over the ads on the taxis in Vegas when I last visited (probably 8-10 years ago). I looked online and he’s still doing it so maybe it’s not too bad. ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-alexander-and-other-black-holes-of-entertainment/316217/32 "2005-08-09T08:07:07Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#): > > Rob Zombie Huh? Did you think he pulled Pee-Wee’s Playhouse down? Or the other members of White Zombie who’ve gone on to…obscurity? Or he misdirected the actors of House of 1000 Corpses who we’re famous for…being unknown? Hey, if you don’t like him, fine, but how is he sucking the talent from anyone? ---
**Author:** ![mrunlucky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7993a0/32.png) [@mrunlucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrunlucky)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-alexander-and-other-black-holes-of-entertainment/316217/33 "2005-08-09T08:46:09Z")
I can’t stand Jason Alexander either. I would tend to think of him as more of a sinkhole than a black hole. I find the grating, annoying, whining-means-I-am-now-acting dirty glare of Nicholas Cage to be impossible to endure. To me his whining obscures any other positive element of a film he is in, including other actors. He didn’t used to be this way, so I don’t know what happened. I don’t know why people keep putting Travolta in films. I thought he had turned into a blight after _Battlefield Earth_. And thinking about Travolta always makes me think of Kirstie Alley, who, like Cage, is never quite in her stride until her shrill whining-means-I-am-now-acting is at fever pitch. It would be fun to say her whining obscures everyone else, much like her weight, but that would be mean spirited, so I won’t say it. Often I find never-weres and “reality stars” and musicians can completely suck anything good out of something they’re put in the middle of. “The Surreal Life”, as a prime example, is like a collection of black holes orbiting each other, with a few actual planets thrown in. Or, witness Madonna in any movie. And I believe Jennifer Lopez has taken up the mantle of confused star who should stop acting, but has yet to learn Madonna’s lesson. It’s like, put a musician in a movie to draw in the kids, and the entire production has to hold them up and manouver them like a giant muppet, especially in buddy movies and romantic comedies. This is just a big list of black holes. I don’t know where to begin. ---
**Author:** ![SenorBeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senorbeef/32/2220_2.png) [@SenorBeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SenorBeef)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-alexander-and-other-black-holes-of-entertainment/316217/34 "2005-08-09T10:01:21Z")
> [@Ashes](#): > > On talk shows he seems like a nice guy but George Costanza is still in there somewhere and I detest him for that abomination. Oh sure, it’s the writers who came up with the character. But I find it very telling he did so well in the role. That’s the thing - the characters on seinfeld were really detestable people, except perhaps for Kramer, who was just odd. Jason Alexander really defines George quite well, and George is supposed to be unlikable… ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-alexander-and-other-black-holes-of-entertainment/316217/35 "2005-08-09T11:15:20Z")
I know he’s been said, but I don’t think Joel Schumacher can be listed enough in a thread like this. He nearly killed the Batman franchise. He put nipples on the batsuit. Even batman wasn’t prepared for his terrible filmmaking. Colin Quinn also deserves another mention. His show Tough Crowd regularly made comedians into humorless piles of nothing simply by Colins presence. ---
**Author:** ![Large\_Marge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/50afbb/32.png) [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-alexander-and-other-black-holes-of-entertainment/316217/36 "2005-08-09T11:53:05Z")
Wow, I think all the “entertainers” I hate have already been named, except one: **Donald Trump.** What an arrogant, ugly, asshole. I liked Alexander in Seinfeld, but I don’t care for him otherwise, and those commercials are _awful_. It’s too bad, because Dodge has some beautiful vehicles out this year, and I don’t even like Dodge. I pity Howard Stern more than I hate him. I just want Gerry Rivers to dig a hole in the ground and bury himself in it. And someone please tell me, why does Carson Daly have a show? ---
**Author:** ![rorty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b2d939/32.png) [@rorty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rorty)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-alexander-and-other-black-holes-of-entertainment/316217/37 "2005-08-09T11:57:58Z")
I think I was one of the few people that enjoyed Colin Quinn’s _Tough Crowd_. I don’t laugh out loud at Colin Quinn, but at some level I find him funny. I liked his weekend updates on _SNL_ as well. I think it’s his terrible delivery. He has a lot of trouble spitting out the words in his mind. I must find the ‘tried, but failed’ approach to be more funny than it is. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-alexander-and-other-black-holes-of-entertainment/316217/38 "2005-08-09T12:14:07Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > 've also never understood the appeal of Julia Roberts. She’s can’t act at all and I don’t think she has better than average looks. Yet she’s one of the biggest names in Hollywood. I don’t get it. I think Julia’s past her peak box office appeal, actually. She has even less personality than her B-grade psycho-heavy brother, Eric, which I guess was a nice blank slate to project Everywoman on. But I aagree, she’s not really a capital-A Actress. I think her best physical features were her big wriggly mouth and absolutely exquisite feet (see the bathtub scene in _Pretty Woman_). ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-alexander-and-other-black-holes-of-entertainment/316217/39 "2005-08-09T12:17:40Z")
_It came to me in a dream!!!_ No, really. Jason Alexander as zany, sexually conflicted, self-destructive lyricist Lorenz Hart. His serious, polished songwriter pal, Richard Rodgers, to be played by Rob Morrow. I think it could work! ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2005, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-alexander-and-other-black-holes-of-entertainment/316217/40 "2005-08-09T12:44:17Z")
What’s troubling even more than the list I could make of people in various branches of “entertainment” who should try to find work in the services (hotels, banks, car washes, fast food windows, etc.) industry a.s.a.p. so as not to defile the legitimate entertainment field any further, what’s more troubling than that, is the audiences for such tripe. Can we start an additional list of venues for such lack-witted “entertainment”? Can we isolate the segments of society that underwrite these schlock shops by paying to see/hear these abominations? After all, these folks wouldn’t be stars if a huge number of the public didn’t accept their efforts as valuable. One man’s solution: use of the “Comments” button on my remote. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-alexander-and-other-black-holes-of-entertainment/316217.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-alexander-and-other-black-holes-of-entertainment/316217.md?page=3)