# Jason Bourne vs. Steve Austin **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 16, 2011, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-bourne-vs-steve-austin/592867 "2011-08-16T04:25:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![mac\_bolan00](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b3f665/32.png) [@mac\_bolan00](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mac_bolan00)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2011, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-bourne-vs-steve-austin/592867/1 "2011-08-16T04:25:56Z")
man-stength: bourne- 1.5-2.0 (with proper conditioning and focus) austin- 50.0 (with unsettling sound effects) maximum running speed: bourne- 45kph austin- 96kph cost to replace: bourne- $34million (2002 value) austin- $6 million (1974 value) martial skills: bourne- various armed and unarmed techniques austin- mainly boxing and combative football main vocation: bourne- soldier/assasin austin- air force officer/astronaut bosses: bourne- alex conklin, devious irish CIA project head austin- oscar goldman, level-headed jewish adminstrator main weaknesses: bourne- lack of story line austin- character eclipsed by a professional wrestler of the same name, married farrah fawcett ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2011, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-bourne-vs-steve-austin/592867/2 "2011-08-16T04:47:34Z")
Heh, at first I did think you meant “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. Bourne might stand a chance if he has a book or a rolled-up magazine to use as a weapon. ---
**Author:** ![FordTaurusSHO94](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f07891/32.png) [@FordTaurusSHO94](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordTaurusSHO94)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2011, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-bourne-vs-steve-austin/592867/3 "2011-08-16T19:17:55Z")
Bourne would control most of the fight, but a sidden kick to the gut and a Stone Cold Stunner would end things. Much beer to be consumed afterward. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2011, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-bourne-vs-steve-austin/592867/4 "2011-08-16T19:23:12Z")
Bourne. Austin has two things going against him: a glass cranium and he is extremely unlikely\* to kill. \*I presume we’re talking about the Lee Majors version and not Martin Caidin’s original assassin. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2011, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-bourne-vs-steve-austin/592867/5 "2011-08-16T20:22:48Z")
> [@mac\_bolan00](#): > > man-stength: > maximum running speed: > bourne- 45kph > austin- 96kph 28 MPH for Bourne? Is that a World Record? > [@](#): > > cost to replace: > bourne- $34million (2002 value) > austin- $6 million (1974 value) NB: In 2011, those are: JB: $41.78m SA: $26.9m > [@](#): > > bosses: > bourne- alex conklin, devious irish CIA project head > austin- oscar goldman, level-headed jewish adminstrator Irish? We’re talking about the movies here, right, hence the 2002 date? Don’t remember an accent in there besides maybe Kansas City. > [@](#): > > main weaknesses: > bourne- lack of story line > austin- character eclipsed by a professional wrestler of the same name, married farrah fawcett Was the $6 Million Dollar Man known for its plot? I never watched it so I’m asking honestly. ---
**Author:** ![mac\_bolan00](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b3f665/32.png) [@mac\_bolan00](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mac_bolan00)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2011, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-bourne-vs-steve-austin/592867/6 "2011-08-16T23:44:04Z")
> [@thelurkinghorror](#): > > 28 MPH for Bourne? Is that a World Record? sorry, bit of a hyperbole. 100m in ten flat is 36kph. but that’s not the maximum speed the likes of carl lewis can run. somewhere along that 100m stretch, sprinters can go well past 40kph (so one nike ad claims.) > [@](#): > > NB: In 2011, those are: > JB: $41.78m > SA: $26.9m yeah, the jason bourne figure in the movie surprised me. 6 million for bionic man in 1974 already seemed far out. > [@](#): > > Irish? We’re talking about the movies here, right, hence the 2002 date? Don’t remember an accent in there besides maybe Kansas City. sounded to me. no slurring intended. > [@](#): > > Was the $6 Million Dollar Man known for its plot? I never watched it so I’m asking honestly. well, it was hokey but episodes for the most part were well-constructed. the series eventually became a maintream viewers’ choice. it had a christmas special starring ray walston, a lyndsey wagner offshoot, even a reunion movie sometime in the late 80s. more to the point, a tv series can easily pick up plots of interest lasting 45 minutes than most movie productions. the fact that lee majors and farrah fawcett were mega-tv stars at the time was a big boost, although richard anderson’s acting carried most of the show. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-bourne-vs-steve-austin/592867/7 "2011-08-17T01:28:02Z")
> [@mac\_bolan00](#): > > austin- $6 million (1974 value) “They spent six million dollars to give me all new bionic parts. Made me stronger, better, faster than I was. Then you know what they did? They put me to work! They expected me to pay it all back! Do you have any idea how long six million bucks takes to pay off on a government salary!?” Oh wait, that was [Steve Summers](http://www.venturefans.org/vbwiki/Steve_Summers). ---
**Author:** ![mac\_bolan00](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b3f665/32.png) [@mac\_bolan00](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mac_bolan00)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-bourne-vs-steve-austin/592867/8 "2011-08-17T04:11:32Z")
^ there’s mortgage redemption insurance. if you croak, the debt’s automatically paid. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-bourne-vs-steve-austin/592867/9 "2011-08-17T12:26:10Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > \*I presume we’re talking about the Lee Majors version and not Martin Caidin’s original assassin. Caidin’s version would snap Bourne like a twig. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-bourne-vs-steve-austin/592867/10 "2011-08-17T17:33:37Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Caidin’s version would snap Bourne like a twig. Concur, with malice aforethought. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2011, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jason-bourne-vs-steve-austin/592867/11 "2011-08-18T19:15:40Z")
This topic sucks\* and is now about Evan Bourne vs Stone Cold (lol, like that one would end with anything but a stunner and a beer) \*- no offense intended, it doesn’t really suck, but hey, that’s how the saying goes