# Jay Leno has a HUGE schlong! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 17, 2003, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jay-leno-has-a-huge-schlong/162092 "2003-03-17T20:57:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jay-leno-has-a-huge-schlong/162092/21 "2003-03-18T00:38:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by handy \* > \*\*Maybe Sandra Bernhard is a little bit too small? \*\* She is. Trust me. ---
**Author:** ![Jpeg\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/4bbf92/32.png) [@Jpeg\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jpeg_Jones)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jay-leno-has-a-huge-schlong/162092/22 "2003-03-18T00:49:52Z")
Mmmmmmmmm… Sandra Day O’Connor… What? ---
**Author:** ![Super\_Gnat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Super\_Gnat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Super_Gnat)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jay-leno-has-a-huge-schlong/162092/23 "2003-03-18T01:34:15Z")
I didn’t know who Sandra Bernhard was, so I looked her up. Thank you for contributing to my personal version of hell. ---
**Author:** ![DarkWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee59a6/32.png) [@DarkWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkWriter)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jay-leno-has-a-huge-schlong/162092/24 "2003-03-18T03:18:34Z")
I thought Leno was happily married, and had been for many years. (Isn’t his wife’s name Mavis?) I realize some people cheat on their spouses, of course, but I was under the impression they had a pretty tight marriage. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jay-leno-has-a-huge-schlong/162092/25 "2003-03-18T03:35:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Binarydrone \* > \*\*I guess that this would be the wrong time to admit that I secretly find Sandra Bernhardt attractive. \*\* Sandra Bernhard may have a “unique” face but she has a toned and womanly body that many women would kill for. Her near naked performance of “Little Red Corvette” in “Without You I’m Nothing” was one of the most erotic performances ever. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jay-leno-has-a-huge-schlong/162092/26 "2003-03-18T03:45:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DrDeth: > > * * * > > I am just glad they didn’t have a child by that union!\*\* Well, according to an authoritative source within my reach (“If They Mated” by Conan O’Brien), Sandra is the offspring of Lassie and the dog from Fraiser. This doesn’t tell me a whole lot, but I thought I’d toss it in for research purposes. ---
**Author:** ![Padeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jay-leno-has-a-huge-schlong/162092/27 "2003-03-18T03:55:00Z")
So then how does he compare to Forrest Tucker and Uncle Milty? ---
**Author:** ![OxyMoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9a140/32.png) [@OxyMoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OxyMoron)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jay-leno-has-a-huge-schlong/162092/28 "2003-03-18T04:11:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DrDeth \* > \*\*I am just glad they didn’t have a child by that union! \*\* Good god, with her nose and his chin, it’d be the second coming of the [Spanish Hapsburgs](http://www.kfki.hu/~arthp/html/c/carreno/charles2.html)! ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jay-leno-has-a-huge-schlong/162092/29 "2003-03-18T04:15:22Z")
Great. Just great. I liked women. Then I found out I like handcuffs. Then I found out I like men too. Then I read this post. Is it the Carthusians or the Cistercians where the monks spend all their time alone? I need to know where to pick up an application form. ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jay-leno-has-a-huge-schlong/162092/30 "2003-03-18T04:27:39Z")
I thought Bernhardt died, like, in the 1920s or so. Is Leno a necrophiliac? Seems like the handcuffs would be coals to Newcastle. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Mook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Mr.Mook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Mook)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jay-leno-has-a-huge-schlong/162092/31 "2003-03-18T05:10:38Z")
Okay that last post was funny. ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jay-leno-has-a-huge-schlong/162092/32 "2003-03-18T08:38:26Z")
Jay and Mavis married in 1980, when he was thirty years old. Jay knew Sandra back from the 1970s when they were both doing stand-up in clubs. ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jay-leno-has-a-huge-schlong/162092/33 "2003-03-18T09:06:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Walloon \* > \*\*Jay and Mavis married in 1980, when he was thirty years old. Jay knew Sandra back from the 1970s when they were both doing stand-up in clubs. \*\* Not always standing up perhaps. Although I though Bernhardt was into women. Then again, I saw Leno tonight on the Tonight Show in drag, so maybe he’s done it before. Hmmmmm. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jay-leno-has-a-huge-schlong/162092/34 "2003-03-18T12:41:43Z")
> [@](#): > > This is the wrong place for a poll, but are you all freaked out by: > > a) The mental image of Jay Leno naked; > b) The mental image of Sandra Bernhardt naked; > c) Both. > > For some odd reason, I can picture one or the other naked, but not both of them at the same time. Obviously we have here a manifestation of the Celebrity Nudity Uncertainty Theorem. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jay-leno-has-a-huge-schlong/162092/35 "2003-03-18T14:26:17Z")
Sadly, Sandra Bernhardt has appeared naked in Playboy. I have no defense against the memory. At least Leno hasn’t posed nude anywhere. I think I’d have to take my own life if I witnessed that. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jay-leno-has-a-huge-schlong/162092/36 "2003-03-18T14:34:44Z")
I don’t find either one of them even marginally repulsive! In fact, I kind of have a thing for Jay…must be all those Harleys, huh? And Sandy has a body to kill for! I’d do both of 'em. ---
**Author:** ![Moon\_Boots](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Moon\_Boots](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moon_Boots)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jay-leno-has-a-huge-schlong/162092/37 "2003-03-18T14:42:58Z")
I find Sandra a little ookey, Jay is okay, but for some reason the two of them together induce a giant cookie toss. ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jay-leno-has-a-huge-schlong/162092/38 "2003-03-18T14:49:26Z")
All right, I’ll proudly admit it. I find her attractive. Anyone wanna make somthing of it? ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jay-leno-has-a-huge-schlong/162092/39 "2003-03-18T14:50:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DarkWriter \* > **I thought Leno was happily married, and had been for many years. (Isn’t his wife’s name Mavis?)** Yup. I’ve read several lengthy magazine pieces on Leno over the years that examined his marriage in detail. By all accounts, the union is true love, and one of the most successful marriages in showbiz (as evidenced by it’s longevity). Mavis Leno is a fairly attractive person herself, and quite substantial intellectually as well. (Caveat: I don’t agree with some of her politics) Frankly, the ability to land someone like her and keep it going makes me respect Jay a little more. People of depth don’t stay in relationships with losers for 23 years. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jay-leno-has-a-huge-schlong/162092/40 "2003-03-18T14:54:20Z")
Leno wasn’t exactly a candidate for the priesthood before his marriage. In _Leading With My Chin_, he tells stories from the days in which he worked for a car dealer; he would often borrow the flashier cars to impress girls with the (non-existent) wealth; he would claim to be a Kennedy – Larry Kennedy, the brother no one discusses. On several occasions, he and a buddy would work a scam together. He says that with glasses and the long hair of the seventies, he looked a little like English pop star Donovan. Jay would borrow a Rolls from the dealership and have his friend drive him around. They’d simply pull up to girls and say, “Hey, do you want to meet Donovan?” If they were amenable, Jay was ready to go: “Hallo, luv!” He ends the story by wondering if Donovan ever knew how lucky he was getting in Boston in the early seventies. - Rick [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jay-leno-has-a-huge-schlong/162092.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jay-leno-has-a-huge-schlong/162092.md?page=3)