# Jeebus! How Fucking Dumb Are You? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 28, 2005, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014 "2005-11-28T04:25:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/21 "2005-11-28T15:03:44Z")
> [@don't ask](#): > > Unless he strikes out…then he’s gay. Hey, you can’t strike out if you don’t step up to the plate. Can’t hit a home run, either. He may be a genius, but if so, he’s a genius water boy. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/22 "2005-11-28T15:27:22Z")
Hre’s another vote for “He’s gay.” I’m bi tending to lesbian but didn’t come out to myself until my late thirties. During the hetero years I was lousy at reading hetero signals. Dunno if that’s how it is for other women who are closeted, but the OP nailed it for how I was. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/23 "2005-11-28T15:32:28Z")
I’m lousy at reading hetero signals too, but I’m far from gay. I’m just lousy at reading signals, period. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/24 "2005-11-28T15:42:32Z")
Try to get over the shock of this next statement: I agree with **Lissener**. :eek: 😉 Really, this whole scene just screams closeted to his own homosexuality. Perhaps he’s not totaly gay, ever seen that scale? But his leanings may trouble him on a subliminal level just enough to keep him out of the pajama game. Another possibility: asexuality. I’ve seen it! Once. The guy had no desire for anything other than friends. Not a glimmer of desire for either team. Just not wired up for the physical, I guess. Or, he’s the commitaphobe mentioned earlier up thread. For the other part of my point, let me ask you something. Why does it bother _ **you**?_ ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/25 "2005-11-28T15:53:14Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > I’ve even tried explaining to him that if a woman comes to her door **naked** , that she , in fact, wants you to bone the hell out of her,… And they say romance is dead. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/26 "2005-11-28T15:57:37Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > he was helping her with her website and he pointed out to her that there was a lot of personal info on her site and that an unsavory character wouldn’t have too much trouble tracking her down. Her response? “You can’t rape the willing.” What did he do? _He went home!_ So would I! Maybe instead of an inability to read “come hither, my pet.” signals, this guy has a good “Bunny Boiler” alarm. ---
**Author:** ![BMax](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bmax/32/4267_2.png) [@BMax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMax)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/27 "2005-11-28T15:57:48Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > I’m lousy at reading hetero signals too, but I’m far from gay. I’m just lousy at reading signals, period. Me too, but I would have caught the invitation to NYC. He _could_ be that clueless. I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt but I wouldn’t be surprised if he comes out in his late 30s. ---
**Author:** ![mack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mack)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/28 "2005-11-28T16:01:05Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > I was absolutely terrible at reading signals, and I’m probably not much better now. This guy could be the same, but probably worse. Girls whom I finally dated told me they practically wrote “Revtim, ask me out!” on their forehead with a Sharpie, and I was oblivious. Maybe you seemed oblivious because “tuo em ksa ,mitveR” didn’t make a lot of sense at the time. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/29 "2005-11-28T16:05:06Z")
> [@mack](#): > > Maybe you seemed oblivious because “tuo em ksa ,mitveR” didn’t make a lot of sense at the time. That’s why Catholic boys have mirror-like polishes on their shoes, so they can read messages like that. Unless they’re gay, of course. heh. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/30 "2005-11-28T16:05:22Z")
Gay? Possibly. Just plain clueless? Very possibly. I once went an entire decade without a date, much less a game of Hide the Salami. And I complained endlessly about my sad situation to anyone I didn’t drive off with my patheticism. And now, thinking back, I can remember a bunch of cute women who did everything short of skywriting to get my attention. “Excuse me, ma’am, you accidently dropped your panties on my face” was my mantra. My straightdar was not only broken, it was practiacally missing. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/31 "2005-11-28T16:22:39Z")
> [@mack](#): > > Maybe you seemed oblivious because “tuo em ksa ,mitveR” didn’t make a lot of sense at the time. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/32 "2005-11-28T16:58:39Z")
There are completely clueless people out there. I was one of them, and I may still be. The gentleman I’m dating kids me about an incident back in the 1980’s when I actually went on a date with a fellow and didn’t realize I was on a date, even when we went up to a local lover’s lane with a spectacular view of the city. :wally He wants to know how many other dates I went on without realizing it and I, of course, can’t answer. The gentleman’s no better, by the way. When I gave him my phone number, he called his sister and asked her, “What does this mean?” Both of us, by the way, are straight as a couple of plumb lines. I’m afraid that’s all I’ve got to offer. If I had anything resembling good advice, I’d give it. CJ ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/33 "2005-11-28T17:43:14Z")
While it does sound like your friend is a little clueless, I would not be rushing into bed with anyone who said this: > [@](#): > > “You can’t rape the willing.” in all seriousness. Gives me the heebie jeebies. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/34 "2005-11-28T17:59:29Z")
He is playing the rich chick. Beneath the dorky exterior lies a Hungarian lothario, who realizes the key to winning women over is to keep yourself at arm’s distance. That way, after one passionate night, they’ll continue to want you. Nah, that’s full of shit. He’s shy and commitaphobic. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/35 "2005-11-28T18:00:56Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > He lacks the fundamental understanding of what it takes to be in a relationship, and he _always_ whines about not having a girlfriend. If he’s gay, he’s a repressed homosexual. **Tuck** stop talking about me![sup]1[/sup] 😉 And I’m not gay![sup]2[/sup] I’m just…clueless. Well, that, and I can’t stand high maintenance Barbie dolls. Give me an easy going, active, average-looking, can-dress-down-as-well-as-she-dresses-up befreckled lass who’d rather spend the evening reading on the couch at Insomnia rather than electro-hideous-dance clubbing and I’d be a clam. Ah, heck, give me a warm body at this point. A warm _female_ body, damnit. A warm _human female_ body of legal and appropriate age, you sickos. Stranger [sup]1[/sup]Okay, so I just wish I had hot babes falling at my feet and making **Tuckerfan** jealous. A man has to dream, doesn’t he? [sup]2[/sup]Yeah, I read poetry, but it’s Blake and Poe. That’s not gay, damnit! ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/36 "2005-11-28T18:12:54Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Really, this whole scene just screams closeted to his own homosexuality. Perhaps he’s not totaly gay, ever seen that scale? But his leanings may trouble him on a subliminal level just enough to keep him out of the pajama game. > > Another possibility: asexuality. I’ve seen it! Once. The guy had no desire for anything other than friends. Not a glimmer of desire for either team. Just not wired up for the physical, I guess. Well, I suppose the third possibility is that the guy has (admittedly old-fashioned) scruples and doesn’t want to jump into bed with a woman unless he has some feelings for her. Despite the woman’s apparent charms (and how can the OP know she’s hot if he hasn’t met her?), sometimes you just don’t click. And it can be \* really \* uncomfortable to be in a relationship where one person feels much more strongly than the other. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/37 "2005-11-28T18:29:51Z")
> [@mack](#): > > Maybe you seemed oblivious because “tuo em ksa ,mitveR” didn’t make a lot of sense at the time. Funniest thing I’ve seen all day. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/38 "2005-11-28T20:35:43Z")
Life would be so much easier if the women who are interested in me (assuming any are, which is not a safe assumption) would just ask me out instead of dropping hints. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/39 "2005-11-28T20:47:26Z")
I know a few guys that are this oblivious to the opportunities available to them. OK, I’m one of them. I guess women could be like cats and give unmistakable clues to the fact that they want to mate but that could be kind of annoying. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/40 "2005-11-28T21:13:48Z")
Women should just get dots tattoed on their foreheads, like Indian women. The tattoo can change color depending on whether she shows interest in you. Green for go, red for stop. If she’s playing hard to get, she can turn it gray. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014.md?page=3)