# Jeebus! How Fucking Dumb Are You? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 28, 2005, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014 "2005-11-28T04:25:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Translucent\_Daydream](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/translucent_daydream/32/16170_2.png) [@Translucent\_Daydream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Translucent_Daydream)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/41 "2005-11-28T22:16:13Z")
Do you remember those Duracell batteries that you would squeeze the dots on either end and the strength level indicator would shine up? HMMMMMMMMMMM I am thinking up a new practical application for these… Kick ass idea, **tdn**! ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_The\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba8739/32.png) [@Bill\_The\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_The_Cat)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/42 "2005-11-28T22:36:16Z")
Are you sure your friend isn’t just being a dick? In college, I knew (at different times) 3 girls who were available, attractive, smart, reasonably wealthy (in one case, very wealthy), and most importantly, interested in me … and I played dumb. I knew full well they liked me, and to varying degrees I enjoyed being in their company, but call it maturity beyond my years or gross adolescent immaturity, _I thought I could do better._ Being married now to someone I consider heads and shoulders above any of the three, I can say _now_ that I made the right choice, but in all honesty _at the time_ it was just a dumb, arrogant prick thing I did. I enjoyed the time I had by myself, and assumed they’d always be around when I wanted to reciprocate. Wannabe Girlfriend: “Why don’t you ever write back to me?” **Bill the Cat** : “Because I don’t really care.” ☹ (because there’s no I-was-such-a-fucking-asshole smiley) ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/43 "2005-11-28T23:26:33Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > For the other part of my point, let me ask you something. Why does it bother _ **you**?_ Because I _constantly_ get stuck listening to him whine about this crap. Not to mention, I’m jealous of the fact that I can’t get women fawning all over me like he does. We’ve been out at dinner and the waitress will be practically throwing herself at him, and he won’t pick up on it. I’ll _tell_ him that she’s doing it, and he’ll either disbelieve me or he’ll refuse to act on it, even though he says he finds the gal attractive. When he first told me about the gal asking him to go to NYC with her, he said, “I think she asked me because she knew I’d say ‘No.’” :dubious: The guy’s an atheist, so there’s no religion holding him back, if he is gay. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/44 "2005-11-29T00:37:52Z")
[Sounds a lot like me.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=200358) Thank God I decided to start dating guys. First guy I ever went out with said, “Is this like a date, or are we just hanging out?\*” How simple is that? I still like girls plenty, but guys are just awesome. Well, my guy is, anyway. [sub]\*I believe my answer was something like, “Yes! I mean, yes on the first one. The date. Thing. That was the first one, right? Because yes on that.” I am one smoooooooth motherfucker, aren’t I?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/45 "2005-11-29T02:42:21Z")
OK, I’m pretty high on the oblivio-meter myself but even I would have picked up on the weekend in NY thing. Y’see, the problem with **Tuck** ’s friend is that reportedly he whines about not having a girlfriend – if he were merely uninterested/asexual, or the Ultimate Evil Mastermind of the Sex War, toying with women, he wouldn’t, IMO. (unless that’s what he wants us to think…). So we are reduced to the possibility of profound emotional illiteracy, a truly worrisome psychological block, or the Deep Denial Closet. “I think she asked me because she knew I would say No” – Egads, if he’s serious he needs help badly. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/46 "2005-11-29T04:03:35Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > “I think she asked me because she knew I would say No” – Egads, if he’s serious he needs help badly. …or at least some noble men _cough_ to distract these women and give him the peace and quiet he so obviously wants. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/47 "2005-11-29T04:32:33Z")
Oh yeah, ages ago, when he figured out that a mutual friend of ours was gay, he looked at me and said, “Well I guess John actually. . . .” and he made exagerrated gestures of someone grabbing a dick and sucking on it. I burst out laughing and said, “Yeah and he took it up the ass, too! What the hell do you think gay guys do?” “I don’t know. I thought they just sat around and watched each other beat off.” He replied. This sent me into hysterics, and I think that he _still_ doesn’t believe it, because he periodically makes comments like, “Do you really think they like having a dick shoved up their ass?” ---
**Author:** ![John\_Stamos\_Left\_Ear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_stamos_left_ear/32/3198_2.png) [@John\_Stamos\_Left\_Ear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Stamos_Left_Ear)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/48 "2005-11-29T08:27:13Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > Start calling him Jughead, see if he picks up on it. I lol’ed. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/49 "2005-11-29T14:54:33Z")
See, some guys just need somebody like the lady behind the counter in the diner in _Rocketeer_ to smack us on the back of the head with a wooden spoon and say, “Go after her, ya dope!” ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/50 "2005-11-29T16:09:21Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > This sent me into hysterics, and I think that he _still_ doesn’t believe it, because he periodically makes comments like, “Do you really think they like having a dick shoved up their ass?” Oh yes. Closet case. He’s got an idea in his head of what gay men are and since he’s not that, he’s not gay. Just tell him some men are tops, some flame, some are bears and some you can’t tell from the average straight guy. He may not be religious now; but did he grow up that way. I did and it affected me for years after I quit church. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2005, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014/51 "2005-11-30T00:29:00Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > Hre’s another vote for “He’s gay.” I’m bi tending to lesbian but didn’t come out to myself until my late thirties. During the hetero years I was lousy at reading hetero signals. > > Dunno if that’s how it is for other women who are closeted, but the OP nailed it for how I was. I am relatively secure in my heterosexuality, but I have on occasion been oblivious to heterosexual signals. I don’t believe I’ve ever been oblivious to homosexual ones. Mostly just because when a guy says you’ve got nice eyes, it’s pretty fucking obvious that he’s hitting on you. But chicks say that kind of shit all the time. Who’s to know? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeebus-how-fucking-dumb-are-you/333014.md?page=2)