Jeez! Is this what black people go through all the time?

[TokyoBayer]

To me? Na, never had the experience. Maybe I should move to foreign country.

[FluffyBob]

@Cat_Whisperer

We had that kind of experience at a new Chinese restaurant that opened up near us - the same lousy service, why don’t you people take your business somewhere else kind of feeling. It looked like it was more authentic Chinese food than most Chinese restaurants here, but we won’t be going back to try any more of it.

My Dad and I used to frequent a small Chinese restaurant on center street. They were super friendly and the English menu had all the good stuff from the Cantonese menu. It was great. One day we go in and apparently it is under new ownership. Lots of tables with Chinese diners eating interesting dishes and the English menu is all chicken balls and almond gai ding. Not that we were not served well, and I understand that the majority of white diners want ginger beef and sweet and sour pork, but it makes things clear that you are an outsider.

[Pazu]

@pbbth

I live in a predominantly black neighborhood and while most of the time it isn’t an issue it does occasionally feel weird. The worst is when I’m walking to the train or to dinner or something when I can hear snippets of conversation from people who don’t know I’m behind them and I hear things like, “White folks are so stupid” or “White people are all evil” or, the most horrifying one, “If I could kill all white people I would because they should all die.” :eek:

I had a similar experience when I went to medical school on Chicago’s South Side. Due to the vagaries of university housing, I ended up spending a lot of time along the “boundary areas” of Hyde Park (63rd St and 53rd St) and got to hear a lot of choice comments (not exactly the same as yours, naturally, because I’m of Asian descent). Two incidents in particular stick out in my memory:

1. A couple of sweet grandmotherly-looking types chatting on a bench, one of whom said loudly “The problem is all these Asians movin’ into our neighborhood.”

2. A little kid (probably 6 or 7) running up to me one day and saying “Hey, chink! Ching-chong chong ching!” while the (presumed) mom looked on approvingly.

Fun times.

[Blaster_Master]

@Shakes

Still tho’, whenever I leave there, I always get this feeling in the back of mind that these guys don’t particularly appreciate my patronage too much. I always just shrug the feeling off because I figure it’s just my mind f’n with me.

To be perfectly honest, I don’t think it reflects on them, or on how minorities are treated as much as it does on you. That’s not to say that you’re a latent racist or anything, just that you felt like an odd one out. I’ve had this sort of feeling before, in other sorts of situations as well, for instance, when I’ve gone into really upscale businesses or when I’ve gone businesses in really poor areas.

That is, I think its just a measure of feeling self-conscious because of theory of mind, because you’re intimately aware of how different you think you are, so you seem to think others are as aware of it as you are, when they probably aren’t, and even if they are, probably don’t care as much as you do.

That said, I do think minorities feel this way to some extent, as they’re aware that they look different, but I also think this applies equally to anything that might stand out, like disabilities, clothing, excessively fat/skinny, and whatnot. It’s probably pretty jarring for one who is accustomed to blending into a crowd. For one who’s not, I don’t think the feeling gets shrugged away as much as much as it just isn’t there because the self-consciousness isn’t there in the first place.

[shiftless]

In one middle eastern store near me I used to get that feeling, years ago. I could never get anyone to get me anything from behind the counter so I stuck with what was on the shelves. These days I go in there and feel out of place in the aisles because I have a tan. Ah, capitalism.

Any time I’m in the north I expect someone to make a crack about my accent (pure, sweet Virginian) when I leave a room, since they do it to my face. In fact, when I go into a store I expect to be worked over by “Yankee traders” who think they’ve found a hick to take advantage of. Probably just in my mind.

[Balthisar]

@Blaster_Master

To be perfectly honest, I don’t think it reflects on them, or on how minorities are treated as much as it does on you. That’s not to say that you’re a latent racist or anything, just that you felt like an odd one out. I’ve had this sort of feeling before, in other sorts of situations as well, for instance, when I’ve gone into really upscale businesses or when I’ve gone businesses in really poor areas.

I get that kind of feeling every time I go to the local Mexican store. It’s just around the corner, and it’s a tiny, cramped place with limited selection, just like thousands of such stores in Mexico. Never mind that I can speak Spanish, am married to a Mexican, and have lived in Mexico for years (cumulatively) – I’m a big, white, gringo dude, and it’s quite obvious they’re surprised to see me the first time. Am I ICE? It’s a family run operation, and lots of them know me now, but it’s a big family, and I’m always worrying someone new.

[SecretaryofEvil]

Prejudice can take all sorts of different forms. My old apartment complex had a little grocery/restaurant on the ground floor owned and operated by a Korean family. My friend Jay, who was born in Korea but adopted by white American folks, and I went there to get lunch one day with a couple of other white friends. Jay ordered first, but got served last. Everyone else got big smiles and “Enjoys!” and “Have a good days!” Jay got stony silence and the stink eye. We all noticed it. Jay said that wasn’t the first time something like that had happened to him. Apparently, he looks more stereotypically Japanese than stereotypically Korean, and since he can’t speak Korean Koreans occasionally assume he’s Japanese and sort of give him shit for it.

[Shodan]

@Snickers

This makes me go :dubious:. I want to know why there’s a problem finding a barber shop that would shave you. I’m imagining any number of unfortunates: Your beard is steel wool? You have two heads? You’re leprous? Mark of Cain? It’s all matted up like a rhino horn?

What is it? I must know.

Because no barber shops in my area do shaves.

Regards,
Shodan