# Jeez, when are you old enough to say "no, I really DON'T want to try that food?" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 28, 2013, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139 "2013-06-28T16:42:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/21 "2013-06-28T21:26:51Z")
sounds like a Fear Factor weeny roast. ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/22 "2013-06-28T21:27:01Z")
First of all, I want to state clearly that I support the OP’s right not to be made to taste food, and also not to have to defend his decision. As a hostess I agonize over what’s appropriate to serve, and whether there will be enough. If I’ve gambled on lamb stew and you’re not eating it you might leave my table hungry and that simply will not do. Personally I wouldn’t insist that you had to eat the stew. I’d try and figure out what else I could fix for you. No you can’t just have the bread. Everybody’s having bread. But they’re all having stew, too. So that’s not fair. It has to be fair!!! (I’m not saying it isn’t crazy, just trying to explain the thought process) Everything I’ve been taught about manners and etiquette is that it’s my job to make other people comfortable, or at least not make anyone UNcomfortable so the insistence doesn’t make sense to me. Although I’m a good cook I have no delusions that my stew would be so transcendent that you should not be allowed to not try it. I have insisted that my son try some things and thought afterwards about why. What does it matter if he eats yams or doesn’t? I think part of it is that I’m responsible for getting nutrition into him. If I only fed him things he was already sure he liked I’d be sending him to high school with baggies of Cheerios. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/23 "2013-06-28T21:31:47Z")
It took Bush the Elder becoming President before people would listen to him about not liking Brussels sprouts. ---
**Author:** ![Jormungandr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@Jormungandr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jormungandr)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/24 "2013-06-28T21:37:05Z")
> [@pbbth](#): > > I get this a lot. “Just try it, you’ll like it!” And I will admit that I have tried some things that I have found I like cooked differently than the way my mother cooked it when I was growing up, but I am very firm in my response to food pushers. I get, “Oh, you haven’t had my (version of) whatever. You’ll love it” ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/25 "2013-06-28T21:42:17Z")
> [@drastic\_quench](#): > > It’s ridiculous to write off “game meat” because it encompasses everything from dove to elk. You cannot like duck and you cannot like venison and you cannot like pheasant, but those animals are so different in every culinary and biological way, it’s absurd to lump them together under a category as wide as “not domesticated.” Well I guess you are the expert on what **DummyGladHands** likes. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/26 "2013-06-28T21:47:13Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > \ Sometimes this kind of etiquette is frustrating and out-of-date, but sometimes it helps. > > Sort of like my mother herself. > \ You’ve just about perfectly described my mother, too. Nice. 🙂 > [@wolfman](#): > > There is the other side of the coin when you are in your late 30’s and when you go out to dinner with your mom she still tries to veto your order. > > wolfman: I would like the X please > wolfmom: No you wouldn’t like that. > wolfman: Umm, yeah I think I would. > wolfmom: no it has tomatoes, you don’t like tomatoes. > wolfman: I love tomatoes! > wolfmom: no you don’t you pick them off. > wolfman: When I was 5! and those were the nasty slimy old tomatoes grandma got cheap at the used grocery store. > > Waitress and rest of restaraunt: Snicker:Snicker:Snicker I’m not a picky eater so I don’t usually get the “Oh, you must try this!” (because frankly, I will try just about any food), but that drives me a little crazy - “Since when have you liked tomatoes?” “All my life. Is it perhaps one of my three sisters you’re thinking of?” Or as others have mentioned, you turn down a food once in your life for some reason, and for the rest of your life, you’re the person who can’t stand spaghetti! I don’t need other people to remember all my food likes and dislikes - just take each meal as it comes, how about that? ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/27 "2013-06-28T21:49:44Z")
“You do not like them, so you say. Try them! Try them! And you may!” I blame Dr. Suess. Seriously though, I have several friends who have resorted to claiming an allergy, just to be taken seriously. I also have an Aunt whose food preferences are limited to the likes of sausage and Hamburger Helper. After hearing the family assault her one too many times, I finally pointed out that, hey. She’s 50) years old and has chased her Army husband from Germany to Texas to Japan and back again. She’s earned the right to eat what she likes and stop trying new stuff. They left her alone after that. ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/28 "2013-06-28T22:00:48Z")
I’m a vegetarian. That’s not the most important thing about me, so not everyone I know is aware of it. This means that if I’m at a pot-luck and an acquaintance is trying to get me to have a heaping helping of her specialty meat-based dish on me, I’ll try to politely decline. If she continues to push, then I’ll say I don’t eat meat. Then, nine times out of ten, I have to explain **why** I’m a vegetarian. I vastly prefer that she just take no for an answer. It saves a lot of embarrassment on both sides. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Hamsandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4bbf92/32.png) [@Darth\_Hamsandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Hamsandwich)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/29 "2013-06-28T22:14:08Z")
Same in my family. My aunt would literally hover around the family with ladle or fork and food in hand. The rule was if you said you weren’t hungry you got a little on your plate. If you said you were, well paisan, prepare to loosen the belt. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/30 "2013-06-28T22:21:36Z")
I loathe turkey. It has too much bad association with Thanksgiving, a holiday I also loathe. Mr. Salinqmind loves turkey and is currently stuck on all turkey all the time, so I will cook him the stinking carcass. All his. And he’s always always ALWAYS surprised when we sit down to eat, and I don’t have any turkey on my plate. “Aren’t you having any turkey, Sal?” “Why, no, no I’m not. It’s all yours”. We go through this all the time. I just say no thanks, now, and don’t argue any more…Same with ice cream. I love ice cream, except chocolate chip mint, which I think tastes like mouthwash filled with gravel. So send him out for ice cream and guess what, at least half the time, he brings back? Always surprised that I don’t like it, always. So it sits in the freezer and if he doesn’t eat it, I don’t, and when it’s taken up space for a decent period, out it goes…This topic is closely related to the potluck luncheon we had once a year at work. “Try my baked beans/goopy casserole/pumpkin bars (that seriously looked exactly like something you’d find in the yard containing a Great Dane).” “No, thank you.” “Why not? Try just a bite…” ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/31 "2013-06-28T22:50:02Z")
Moved Cafe Society --\> IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/32 "2013-06-28T22:50:21Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > It took Bush the Elder becoming President before people would listen to him about not liking Brussels sprouts. Broccoli. ---
**Author:** ![vix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a88e4f/32.png) [@vix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vix)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/33 "2013-06-28T23:56:00Z")
Heartily agree with the OP. My parents recently hosted a dinner party for friends of theirs and the friends’ grown son and daughter-in-law. My parents went out of their way to ask their friends if any of the guests had any dietary restrictions. They were told that so-and-so didn’t eat veal or duck. So my father cooked a meal that didn’t include veal or duck. Instead he cooked quail (and a bunch of other courses). Then he was shocked, SHOCKED, when so-and-so politely refused the quail. Because he had ASKED what they wouldn’t eat. Ok, yes, you asked. But who the hell expects to be served quail?! And if someone politely declines, under any circumstances, you accept that and move on. To be honest, I don’t think my parents made a big deal about the quail at the dinner table (at least, I hope not), but later I got to hear all about the HORROR of so-and-so not eating the quail. Yeeeeah, ok. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/34 "2013-06-28T23:59:07Z")
> [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > Well I guess you are the expert on what **DummyGladHands** likes. :rolleyes: His reaction is clearly in his head. He states it locks up his throat. This is a psychological aversion, and I am pointing out how ludicrously wide of an aversion “game meat” is. To me, that is just as ridiculous as stating, "I can only breathe indoor air.’ But then, I guess you’re the expert on passive-aggressive and dismissive emoticons as a mode of expressing yourself. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/35 "2013-06-29T00:00:41Z")
> [@Jormungandr](#): > > I get, “Oh, you haven’t had my (version of) whatever. You’ll love it” I get that with zucchini, okra or eggplant all the freaking time. I detest both of them, and I am not a picky eater when it comes to veggies [actually I am close to adding kale to the damned list] I lived in the south, I have had okra more ways than I care to remember, and I have never found it edible. I have had it fried, baked, braised, in gumbo - yuck. Nasty slimy mucilaginous green crap. Nobodies mother’s secret recipe rendered it magically delicious. And eggplant has a wierd machine oil/bitter taste. Same with zucchini. Kale just has a seriously objectionable texture - it goes from tyvek to slime in a milisecond. I will take all your brussels sprouts, lima beans, spinach cooked or raw and broccoli … and tofu, just keep zucchini, okra and eggplant the fuck away from me! ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/36 "2013-06-29T00:01:52Z")
> [@drastic\_quench](#): > > It’s ridiculous to write off “game meat” because it encompasses everything from dove to elk. You cannot like duck and you cannot like venison and you cannot like pheasant, but those animals are so different in every culinary and biological way, it’s absurd to lump them together under a category as wide as “not domesticated.” You’re fucking stupid. All game meat has one thing in common–it is something that runs away from you while you try to hunt it. And that does produce a certain flavor that is present in EVERY SINGLE FORM of game meat. I don’t even dislike it. But if you can’t tell that there’s a common flavor in all of it, you don’t even have the right to tell a child to try it, since apparently you can’t taste anything. ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/37 "2013-06-29T00:06:42Z")
> [@DummyGladHands](#): > > Isn’t there some sort of moratorium on this wheedling, insisting crap? I don’t like game meat, I’ve tried it several times, and maybe it’s all in my head, but it locks my throat and turns my stomach. I’m not on Social Security yet, but it’s not that far away, and Christ, if I say politely, no thanks, and you’re gauche enough to say why and I say, I don’t care for game meat, then FCS, leave it!!! > > I can’t abide the smell of stewed lamb, although I love lamb, I am NOT going to try the lamb stew, it’s not going to happen! Leave it alone, dammit! > > Do we need a new law?? You’ve already got a handy tool available that I use for these situations: profanity. I’m all for a polite “No, thank you” at the outset. If that doesn’t work, a stern-faced “hell no, I don’t want any” with eye contact. If you’re a method actor, imagine you’re showering in prison and someone’s said “Hey buddy, I’ve dropped my soap- could you get it for me?” What Judith Martin would call a firm, polite refusal, indicating you’re on the verge of being offended. Further cajoling should be met with a tone that implies you’re asking what Marsellus Wallace looks like. “English, muthafucka, do you speak it? I said NO! Ask me again, ask me to try some again! I dare you! I _double_ dare you!” It’s the only way they’ll learn. I rarely get the chance anymore - previous victims tend to catch their eye and give them a head-shake. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/38 "2013-06-29T00:09:23Z")
> [@drastic\_quench](#): > > His reaction is clearly in his head. He states it locks up his throat. This is a psychological aversion, and I am pointing out how ludicrously wide of an aversion “game meat” is. To me, that is just as ridiculous as stating, "I can only breathe indoor air.’ > > But then, I guess you’re the expert on passive-aggressive and dismissive emoticons as a mode of expressing yourself. Okay, you’re even stupider than I thought! This whole fucking thread is about how you have to be fucking douchebag of epic proportions to tell someone what they should or shouldn’t like. She’s speaking for everyone in the thread. You are exactly the type of person who the OP is upset about. Go fuck a cactus, dickhole. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/39 "2013-06-29T00:10:25Z")
> [@epbrown01](#): > > It’s the only way they’ll learn. I rarely get the chance anymore - previous victims tend to catch their eye and give them a head-shake. Seeing as such actions will result in you not having any friends, I’m not surprised. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/40 "2013-06-29T00:14:56Z")
I make it a sort of hobby to try new foods and cuisines, my wife however is not adventurous at all. If we went to Japan she would be looking for a Subway ☹ But I know she is an adult but come on! You gotta try it, its amazing! The worst thing is sometimes after insisting and she tries it just to shut me up, she then goes OMG you’re right this is amazing and proceeds to eat it all. Which just makes the whole thing confusing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139.md?page=3)