# Jeez, when are you old enough to say "no, I really DON'T want to try that food?" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 28, 2013, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139 "2013-06-28T16:42:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![eenerms](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@eenerms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eenerms)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/81 "2013-06-29T14:48:37Z")
When I was young, my grandmother made rabbit . We ate it and enjoyed it until my father commented , “just think this bunny was hopping around this morning”,never ate rabbit again. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/82 "2013-06-29T15:44:13Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Have you considered that your insistence on FAIR! IT MUST BE FAIR! NO, YOU CAN’T HAVE JUST BREAD OR JUST THE VEGETABLES! might make a guest MORE uncomfortable than simply not eating an entree? Sometimes you need to opt for the lesser evil. Perhaps I should have made it clear that I don’t ACT on the crazy. But it definitely happens in my brain. I’ve been on the guest end of the equation and try hard to treat guests how I’d like to be treated, which more than anything is not fussed over. I would not put you on the spot. I would however, try and find out some things you do like before inviting you again. And because it’s my hope that everyone will find something he likes I tend to serve a lot of separate items rather than something like a stew. Your camp experience is going to give me bad dreams. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/83 "2013-06-29T16:28:33Z")
> [@Hokkaido\_Brit](#): > > Then we get to my 13 year old who is picky to the point of madness over food. I have to say that since this spring I have given up arguing. He knows the reasons why his diet is not good enough. He suffers the fallout with weakness, underweight, bad skin etc and there is NOTHING I can do about it. I serve dinner and he eats or doesn’t. I am learning to keep my mouth shut. Because we can either ruin every mealtime with a fight but he won’t actually eat, or we can all sit companionably and enjoy each other’s company and he won’t eat. But that’s pretty much it. Have you considered that he may be a “resistant eater?” It’s more than just picky eating. It’s a kind of eating disorder. I know a kid who is a resistant eater, and his parents have been able to adopt strategies that have greatly improved the situation. Eating is still an issue, but the kid is healthy. ---
**Author:** ![Pinmin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@Pinmin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pinmin)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/84 "2013-06-29T17:41:52Z")
Yes, I’ve tried it fresh/cooked differently/better quality, and I don’t care. And asking why I don’t like something is obnoxious. I have my reasons and it’s none of your business. I’m very stubborn and you’re not going to convince me. Most of my dislikes are a visceral repulsion; I can’t make myself like it any more than I can make myself like smelling a skunk. Others have an emotional aspect I don’t want to dredge up and explain. ---
**Author:** ![aNewLeaf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@aNewLeaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aNewLeaf)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/85 "2013-06-29T17:46:28Z")
> [@gwendee](#): > > … try hard to treat guests how I’d like to be treated, which more than anything is not fussed over. I would not put you on the spot. I would however, try and find out some things you do like before inviting you again. I do like to nibble on some bread and enjoy the pleasant company of fellow diners. I do like to see the foods, and smell them. I do like to learn about the foods, where they come from and their history. I do like to help with the preparation, and the cleanup too. I just don’t want to put that nasty crap in my mouth and eat it. So if my eating is important to you, just don’t invite me. ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/86 "2013-06-29T19:18:03Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I’m somewhat of a super-taster. I can’t eat bitter vegetables like cress, and beets make me gag. My wife is forever trying to get me to eat beets, even though I tell her “no, not now, not ever, never.” I think I’ve finally gotten through to her not to put jagged-leaf greens on my salads, and to go easy on the spinach, though. But it’s taken 20 years. I also do better with mixed fruit, so a bowlful of just raspberries is over-tart to me. So what did I get this morning? Right. Given that this seems to be happening mainly or entirely at home, why don’t you just make your own salads and fruit bowls with things you like, then? Seems a lot simpler than getting annoyed at something your wife seems unlikely to remember all the details of. I mean, I try to be a good host when making food for my friends, especially since I’m vegetarian and know how it sucks to end up someplace where the only things available to eat are lettuce and bread. But frankly I don’t know how to cook an entire meal that’s vegan and gluten-free, which is the only thing that could possibly encompass all the various dietary restrictions within my group of friends. Thank god for potlucks, so I can bring the one of the maybe 2 or 3 vegan-GF recipes I have, and those who need to can bring dishes of their own that they know how to cook and can accommodate their restrictions. I’ve tried to make GF bread – it was a complete disaster, and I still don’t know where I went wrong. So I’ll leave that to folks who know what they’re doing. > [@Broomstick](#): > > Quite an exciting night. **The hostess never did forgive me for what I did to her guest “powder room”** but I honestly couldn’t help it. Then there was the ambulance ride, the ER in Rockford, Illinois… Not the best end to an evening. Oh, that’s priceless. She feeds you something that can **KILL you,** but _she’s_ pissed at _you?_ Glad she has her priorities straight, there… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/87 "2013-06-29T19:24:00Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > When I was in first grade, and eating lunch in the school cafeteria, I refused to eat the wax beans that were on my tray. One of the teachers stood over me and insisted I eat at least three bites before deciding I didn’t like them. I took a forkful and shoved them in my mouth and then blew chunks all over the table. They didn’t make me eat anything I didn’t like ever again. In my defense, I was only six years old. Man, I SAW this. Only I could have sworn we were in fifth grade. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/88 "2013-06-29T20:04:02Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > Don’t like the taste or idea of something? Own it. Don’t spread falsehoods and wild ass guesses in order to justify your reluctance to eat something. I don’t like meat at all so you know what I do when someone is a little to persuasive? I say no thank you, I don’t make baseless claims to justify my personal prejudices and hang-ups. Isn’t that what this entire thread is about, though? Owning it, then having host after host after host refuse to acknowledge or respect it? ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/89 "2013-06-29T20:21:16Z")
> [@Leaper](#): > > Isn’t that what this entire thread is about, though? Owning it, then having host after host after host refuse to acknowledge or respect it? Yeah, except for two things. The exact opposite of BigT’s post is true, and people need to learn to flat leave. Someone continues to be pushy and rude after you’ve declined, just smile wryly and walk away. Eventually pushy types will get the hint or stop inviting finicky eaters. No need to invent food allergies unless you’ve been diagnosed, no need to recount a 2nd grade barfing incident or relive nasty memories of when some adult was an asshole this one time. I’d like to return to a time when sharing a meal was a lovely, relaxing event for pleasant company and polite conversation. I’d still like to throttle my ex’s family for teasing him mercilessly through every single meal about his picky tastes and loudly recounting the day’s worst news stories at the table. Food is cheap, food is plentiful and nearly all of us have the luxury of sitting idly by the while someone waits on us hand and foot. We’ve removed the hunt, the kill, and the butchering from nearly every meal yet we’re closer to barbarians than we ever were. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/90 "2013-06-29T21:06:16Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > Yeah, except for two things. The exact opposite of BigT’s post is true, and people need to learn to flat leave. Someone continues to be pushy and rude after you’ve declined, just smile wryly and walk away. It would be nice if we all could feel free to blithely snub everyone who treats us in a way that makes us uncomfortable, but don’t you think there might be situations in which that isn’t really a viable option? Thanksgiving? Business lunches? Hell, a straight-up walk-out is going to cause some degree of social disruption at nearly any meal that involves more people at the table than just you and the offender. God bless the made-up allergy excuse. > [@](#): > > I’d like to return to a time when sharing a meal was a lovely, relaxing event for pleasant company and polite conversation. I , too, curse Monsanto for inventing rude dinner hosts in 2003. When will we humans ever learn to stop playing God. > [@](#): > > Food is cheap, food is plentiful and nearly all of us have the luxury of sitting idly by the while someone waits on us hand and foot. We’ve removed the hunt, the kill, and the butchering from nearly every meal yet we’re closer to barbarians than we ever were. If I didn’t know better, I’d have thought that whole paragraph written by **BigT**. ---
**Author:** ![aNewLeaf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@aNewLeaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aNewLeaf)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/91 "2013-06-29T21:15:06Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > people need to learn to flat leave. Someone continues to be pushy and rude after you’ve declined, just smile wryly and walk away. Eventually pushy types will get the hint or stop inviting finicky eaters. :foreveralone: ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/92 "2013-06-29T21:15:46Z")
> [@colander](#): > > It would be nice if we all could feel free to blithely snub everyone who treats us in a way that makes us uncomfortable, but don’t you think there might be situations in which that isn’t really a viable option? Thanksgiving? Business lunches? Hell, a straight-up walk-out is going to cause some degree of social disruption at nearly any meal that involves more people at the table than just you and the offender. God bless the made-up allergy excuse. Yeah, cause it’s better to have the host roll his/her eyes and make fun of your delicate constitution and hypochondria behind your back rather than to simply excuse yourself and find someone better to converse with. > [@colander](#): > > If I didn’t know better, I’d have thought that whole paragraph written by **BigT**. Nah, \*\*BigT \*\*is busy finding evidence that his lunchmeat is knitted neatly into square, paper-thin slices by Jainish elves after it falls naturally from the trees. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/93 "2013-06-29T21:17:08Z")
But you can’t even taste the pickled yak spleen! Then why did you even put in in there? ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/94 "2013-06-29T21:29:50Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > Yeah, cause it’s better to have the host roll his/her eyes and make fun of your delicate constitution and hypochondria behind your back rather than to simply excuse yourself and find someone better to converse with. So do you usually stand up and ask if anybody wants to switch seats with you because damn it, your godson’s stupid bitch of an aunt is getting on your last nerve? Or do you just leave the table and lock yourself in the bathroom until you stop hearing silverware noises from the dining room? ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/95 "2013-06-29T21:34:04Z")
> [@colander](#): > > So do you usually stand up and ask if anybody wants to switch seats with you because damn it, your godson’s stupid bitch of an aunt is getting on your last nerve? Or do you just leave the table and lock yourself in the bathroom until you stop hearing silverware noises from the dining room? Oh…her. Her I stab in the collarbone with a sterling silver pickle fork, just below her ivory cameo brooch. You should have been more specific. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/96 "2013-06-29T22:30:23Z")
> [@gwendee](#): > > First of all, I want to state clearly that I support the OP’s right not to be made to taste food, and also not to have to defend his decision. > > As a hostess I agonize over what’s appropriate to serve, and whether there will be enough. If I’ve gambled on lamb stew and you’re not eating it you might leave my table hungry and that simply will not do. Personally I wouldn’t insist that you had to eat the stew. I’d try and figure out what else I could fix for you. No you can’t just have the bread. Everybody’s having bread. But they’re all having stew, too. So that’s not fair. It has to be fair!!! (I’m not saying it isn’t crazy, just trying to explain the thought process) honestly, I wouldn’t obsess over it _that_ much. As a host, I’d submit that the most that should be expected of you is to try to find out any restrictions ahead of time (vegetarian/vegan, food allergies, etc.) and go from there. you can’t be expected to cater to everyone’s particular idiosyncracies. > [@BigT](#): > > Sorry. I thought I was in the Pit. I had the Pit open at the same time, and the OP is more a rant than a poll. And the post I was responding to seemed more like a Pit post than an IMHO one, due to the person doing exactly what the OP asked them not to. > > Thanks for only giving me one Warning when I could have had more. I’m glad I didn’t go with my first instincts and use even worse language. PROTIP: the Pit _allows_ you to insult other posters; it does not _compel_ you to. I’ve put a number of people on ignore because they apparently felt that they were required to insult me just because they could. ---
**Author:** ![LeeshaJoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@LeeshaJoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LeeshaJoy)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/97 "2013-06-29T22:49:25Z")
> [@wolfman](#): > > wolfman: When I was 5! and those were the nasty slimy old tomatoes grandma got cheap at the used grocery store. Wait, the _used_ grocery store? Aren’t used groceries more commonly known as “human feces”? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2013, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/98 "2013-06-30T00:26:37Z")
> [@Kaio](#): > > Given that this seems to be happening mainly or entirely at home, why don’t you just make your own salads and fruit bowls with things you like, then? Seems a lot simpler than getting annoyed at something your wife seems unlikely to remember all the details of. Because I cook everything else. While I’m preparing dinner, she makes the salad. When I’m preparing breakfast, she makes the fruit bowl. It’s not too much to ask that there not be things in there that I won’t eat and that will be thrown away. Also, since I was responding to the OP and not starting a thread with my own complaints, your opinion in the matter is irrelevant and unwelcome. ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2013, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/99 "2013-06-30T05:09:40Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Because I cook everything else. While I’m preparing dinner, she makes the salad. When I’m preparing breakfast, she makes the fruit bowl. It’s not too much to ask that there not be things in there that I won’t eat and that will be thrown away. Also, since I was responding to the OP and not starting a thread with my own complaints, your opinion in the matter is irrelevant and unwelcome. …and your bizarre defensiveness is WAAAYYY over the top in response to a simple question. I have no opinion on your dynamic with your wife, I just wondered why you weren’t taking (what appeared to be) the easiest road to deal with it. Whatever your issue is, don’t take it out on a stranger, dude. I have nothing to do with it. On a more general note, I honestly find it strange that so many of you seem to have such problems as this all the time. The only time dietary restrictions ever come up in my circles is when we’re trying to accommodate them. Other than that, no one’s tried to push food on me or on anyone in my presence. No one really cares. It hasn’t happened with co-workers, it hasn’t happened with family, it sure doesn’t happen with friends… so who are you all hanging out with? I can’t imagine caring that much about what someone else is eating. Unless it looks really good and I want to run up to the buffet to try some for myself. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2013, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139/100 "2013-06-30T12:02:35Z")
Oh, it doesn’t happen _often_, but after nearly 50 years of existing in this country it has come up a few times. I’ve had to deal with it maybe twice in the past 10 years. One instance was an Indian co-worker who had brought some confection or other in celebration of a Hindu holiday (Diwali? Can’t remember exactly). He was urging every one to try it. Well, when he came to me I asked my standard question: “What’s in it?” He said don’t worry, just try it, it’s good. This devolved into a problem because, for whatever reason he _would not tell me_ what was in it, just kept saying it was good. Granted, there could have been some cultural/language barrier there although his English, though accented, was impecable and he seemed to have flung himself head long into embracing American life (this is a guy who got excited not only experience snow for the first time in his life, but eagerly awaited the worst forms of Chicago winter weather and then plunged into them to experience the howling winds and biting cold, to return exhilarated to the rest of the work day). He just couldn’t get it through his head that I _do not_ eat unidentified food. For me, doing that is quite dangerous. Another instance was at a cook-out where a husband and wife were doing deep fried turkey with a “secret family recipe” of rub and breading. Again, I asked what was in it. Was told it was a “secret family recipe” not to be indulged. I said OK, I respect your secret. I’ll have something else to eat. The party with the secret got miffed and someone else at the gathering mentioned I had food allergies and that was my concern. They said oh, so tell us what you’re allergic to and we’ll let you know if it’s in there. I said no, briefly recounted the issue of the lady who didn’t understand “no tomatoes” included ketchup, said I’m sorry but I’m not taking a chance of that sort of misunderstanding again, but no thank you on the turkey. I finally got them to back off when I said that having an allergic reaction that put me in the hospital would lose me my FAA medical clearance to fly, at which point they, also being pilots, backed down. As it was a large potluck there was LOTS of other stuff to eat, so no problem there. And really, in the past 10 years, that’s been it. I had more problems as a kid because of adults who will not take no for an answer from a kid, even a kid that’s been trained to say “no” due to medical reasons. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeez-when-are-you-old-enough-to-say-no-i-really-dont-want-to-try-that-food/662139.md?page=6)