# Jeezus H. Christmas - "Spider-modified goats"??!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 23, 2003, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeezus-h-christmas-spider-modified-goats/214793 "2003-11-23T03:51:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeezus-h-christmas-spider-modified-goats/214793/21 "2003-11-23T13:55:48Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by jjimm \* \*\*No, it’s that the entire concept is FUCKING GROSS. \*\* [quote] ??? Gross? As in disgusting, Freddy Krueger slashing teens “gross”? It’s just science. Why is that “gross”? Is the skin that “they’re” managing to “grow” for helping burn patients “gross”? Different, at odds (spider? goat?), Sure. But “gross” as in gag me with a spoon? I’m perplexed as to why people are so weirded out by this. > [@](#): > > C’mon now. You have to agree with me here: aaaaaaaaaaaagh. Bleaugh. \*\* Ummm, well, I don’t. Sorry 😉 It’s a bit odd, but they have been tossing this and other ideas about for some time now Hey, it’s a brave new world. I’m stunned that here I am, an old fuddy duddy, and I think that it’s pretty interesting, and yet there are youngsters prissing about with “eeeuuuuwwww grody” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeezus-h-christmas-spider-modified-goats/214793/22 "2003-11-23T14:09:49Z")
OK, would you have sex with a human that had been modified to produce, say, cockroach sperm out of his/her nipples? ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeezus-h-christmas-spider-modified-goats/214793/23 "2003-11-23T14:17:11Z")
Why on earth would anyone modify genes for THAT? Only if she were cute. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeezus-h-christmas-spider-modified-goats/214793/24 "2003-11-23T14:23:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mac Guffin \* > \*\*Why on earth would anyone modify genes for THAT? > > Only if she were cute. \*\* Ummm yeah, what **Mac** said. See, the difference is that the “spider/goats” were modified for a useful purpose. Not for sexual ones. Your reasoning doesn’t make sense. No one’s talking about gene modification for sexual gratification purposes here. Especially not for ones which would be completely useless. Where the hell is a “perplexed smilie” when you need one? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Menocchio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Menocchio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Menocchio)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeezus-h-christmas-spider-modified-goats/214793/25 "2003-11-23T14:25:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jjimm \* > \*\*OK, would you have sex with a human that had been modified to produce, say, cockroach sperm out of his/her nipples? \*\* Are you suggesting that you’d have sex with a wild-type goat? Anyway, put me down in the “no big deal” camp. You’d never know the goats were transgenic from looking at them (I’d bet). There are good reasons to harvest spider fibers in quantities not availiable from simple spiders. I bet these fellows lived as good a life as normal milk goats (until they were euthanized of course, which is a shame but I see why it was done). Does anyone know how the fibers are taken from the milk? You’re also aware, **jjim** that no one asking you to drink this fibrous milk, right? And, in fact, the reason these goats were killed when they weren’t needed was so that they wouldn’t “pollute” the larger goat population. Anyway, would I have sex with a genetically modifed human? Yes. Cockroack sperm from nipples? Yes. I’d forgo the nipple sucking portions of foreplay, however. And I have no idea why someone would want to do that. However, a human, you realize, would most likely be treated to avoid some deadly ailment. So would I have sex with a woman who _doesn’t_ have cystic fibrosis? Of course! ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeezus-h-christmas-spider-modified-goats/214793/26 "2003-11-23T15:07:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CanvasShoes \* > \*\*Ummm yeah, what **Mac** said. See, the difference is that the “spider/goats” were modified for a useful purpose. Not for sexual ones. > > Your reasoning doesn’t make sense. No one’s talking about gene modification for sexual gratification purposes here. Especially not for ones which would be completely useless. > > Where the hell is a “perplexed smilie” when you need one? 😃 \*\* Perplexed smilie------------\>:confused: ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeezus-h-christmas-spider-modified-goats/214793/27 "2003-11-23T16:24:28Z")
I think you’re taking my comments a bit seriously, folks. Where’s the barf smiley when you need it?!? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeezus-h-christmas-spider-modified-goats/214793/28 "2003-11-23T16:28:54Z")
Spider Goats!? 🙂 Two great tastes that go great together! ---
**Author:** ![12hazel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/919ad9/32.png) [@12hazel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/12hazel)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeezus-h-christmas-spider-modified-goats/214793/29 "2003-11-23T17:20:19Z")
What’s bad about this… Lesseee: - Aside from killing off (living, breathing, sentient) 214 animals you purposely made, 'cause you later made “better” ones? - Aside from dicking around with DNA like it’s a toy (why NOT meat trees? why not ass-monkeys? why not armored, winged amphibian hominids\* with cockroach DNA mixed it to survive those nuclear attacks?) - Aside from lactating web silk? Imagine pulling dental floss out through yer nipples… or urethra, if your nipples aren’t sensitive enough for this image to make an impact. Got it now? - Aside from the fact that the purpose of this Dr. Moreau insanity is to feed the psycho war machine?\*\* : : : Well, gee… Nothing, I guess… Nothing at all. Sorry I mentioned it. * * * \*Gotta be hominids, 'cause **human** DNA experiments are **immoral,** you see. \*\*Well, yes, maybe I _would_ feel a little better if they knit warm clothes for the homeless out of that goat s/milk… ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeezus-h-christmas-spider-modified-goats/214793/30 "2003-11-23T17:44:07Z")
> [@](#): > > why NOT meat trees? Those are called soybeans. (On the other hand, growing plants that gave a fruit or bark that had the taste and texture of steak would (if they could be grown economically) reduce our dependence of feed-lot beef (reducing mad cow issues) while possibly reducing our cholestrol and fat intake. So why not?) > [@](#): > > Imagine pulling dental floss out through yer nipples… or urethra, . . . No. The “spider silk” is extracted from the liquid milk, so we are not pulling strings out of teats. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeezus-h-christmas-spider-modified-goats/214793/31 "2003-11-23T17:45:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Darkhold \* > \*\*I want them to make something useful like meat trees to make the vegans happy. \*\* You should play the [Sims](http://www.simslice.com/Objects-OutsideBuild.htm) where the pizza slice tree flourishes. * * * [Kent Brockman]I for one welcome our new spider goat overlords[/Kent Brockman] ---
**Author:** ![Spudo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@Spudo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spudo)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeezus-h-christmas-spider-modified-goats/214793/32 "2003-11-23T18:41:47Z")
They’ve been breeding these things for 10 years eh. This isn’t a new thing. It’s not a disgusting idea or anything, it’s rather clever really. Spider silk is very strong, and could be very useful if it could be collected in large amounts, and getting it through goat milk is potentially a useful resource. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeezus-h-christmas-spider-modified-goats/214793/33 "2003-11-23T18:47:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tomndebb \* > \*\* The “spider silk” is extracted from the liquid milk, so we are not pulling strings out of teats. \*\* Got silk? ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeezus-h-christmas-spider-modified-goats/214793/34 "2003-11-23T18:55:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > \*\*Spider Goats!? 🙂 > > Two great tastes that go great together! \*\* You got your spider in my goat! You got your goat in my spider! Hmm… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeezus-h-christmas-spider-modified-goats/214793/35 "2003-11-23T19:05:44Z")
**Aaaaiiiiiiyyyyyyeeeeee!!!** OK, look, Jack Russell Terriers were created by selecting animals with desirable traits that would normally and naturally be sexually attracted to each other and arranging for them to do the tube-snake boogie. Wheat and corn were created by selecting (gasp) wheat and corn plants with the largest seeds and using them as next years seed stock, with a bit of pollination help when it was discovered how wheat and corn plants make seeds. I’ll cease to be _ **COMPLETELY FREAKED OUT** _ by the idea of Spider Goats when I see a spider gazing tenderly into the eyes of a goat with smokey tenor sax music playing in the background. Spider Goats. **AAAAIIIIIIIIYYYYYYYEEEEEEEE** ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_B.Phart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc29f/32.png) [@Capt\_B.Phart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_B.Phart)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeezus-h-christmas-spider-modified-goats/214793/36 "2003-11-23T21:14:15Z")
Spider poultry would be a good idea - lots of drumsticks - and with a bit more modification perhaps they could be made to lay Fabergé eggs ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeezus-h-christmas-spider-modified-goats/214793/37 "2003-11-23T22:19:23Z")
> [@](#): > > I’ll cease to be _ **COMPLETELY FREAKED OUT** _ by the idea of Spider Goats when I see a spider gazing tenderly into the eyes of a goat with smokey tenor sax music playing in the background. Well, we had a jumping spider in the barn a couple of summers back that _insisted_ on making her nest just above one of our breeding does. Does that count? (Of course, since the spider and the goat were both female, I suppose that introduces a different level of complication into the equation: we’d have had Rev. Donald Wildmon joining Jeremy Rifkin to protest our operation.) ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeezus-h-christmas-spider-modified-goats/214793/38 "2003-11-23T22:36:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by 12hazel \* > \*\* > > - Aside from killing off (living, breathing, sentient) 214 animals you purposely made, 'cause you later made “better” ones? \*\* They’re just products to be used as we see fit. No different then any other goat, chicken, cow, or rat. > [@](#): > > \*\* > > - Aside from dicking around with DNA like it’s a toy (why NOT meat trees? why not ass-monkeys? why not armored, winged amphibian hominids\* with cockroach DNA mixed it to survive those nuclear attacks?) \*\* How about rice and potatos with more nutrients? Crops more resistant to insects and fungi? Marc ---
**Author:** ![Xploder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/a183cd/32.png) [@Xploder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xploder)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeezus-h-christmas-spider-modified-goats/214793/39 "2003-11-23T22:54:57Z")
I know I want a spider goat. With great big horns. And a lot of fangs. Then I’m gonna let it loose to take care of all these fucking skunks that seem to think that my garbage can is their dinner table. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeezus-h-christmas-spider-modified-goats/214793/40 "2003-11-23T23:43:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Thea Logica \* > **I’ll cease to be _COMPLETELY FREAKED OUT_ by the idea of Spider Goats when I see a spider gazing tenderly into the eyes of a goat with smokey tenor sax music playing in the background.** I think that is the point where I would _start_ to be completely freaked out. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeezus-h-christmas-spider-modified-goats/214793.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jeezus-h-christmas-spider-modified-goats/214793.md?page=3)