# Jehovah's just stopped by my house. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 22, 2010, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-just-stopped-by-my-house/544131 "2010-06-22T15:14:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-just-stopped-by-my-house/544131/21 "2010-06-22T17:14:48Z")
> [@control-z](#): > > I didn’t think we had Mormons around here but I could be wrong. Mormons go on missionary trips, and they don’t have to be in exotic countries or anything, just places where they can spread the word. Sounds like you’re in a great place for them to visit if there’s no LDS group established there. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-just-stopped-by-my-house/544131/22 "2010-06-22T17:16:12Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Alas, this is what I also did a couple of months back. I realize this is what their religion dictates to them: “Go forth and hand out pamphlets.” I figure they’re human beings too and really, being polite is more my style than being a prick. I think they are the ones being jerks first. Seriously, going to the homes of people you don’t know early in the morning interupting their sleep or other activities to force your religious views on them so you can earn one of a limited number of spaces in heaven? IMO, that’s being a jerk. I’d have a better opinion of them if they spent their Saturday mornings doing actual charitable works, like working in food kitchen, reading to the elderly, or picking up litter along the highway. If I were God, I’d give people more heaven points for that stuff than just annoying people in their homes. ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-just-stopped-by-my-house/544131/23 "2010-06-22T17:20:36Z")
A simple, “We have a church, Riverwood, that we attend regularly and are all non-denom Christians in this house.” has always worked. They leave and don’t come back often. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-just-stopped-by-my-house/544131/24 "2010-06-22T17:22:54Z")
Since Jehovah’s Witnesses beieve that the New World is going to happen any second now (they have believed this since 1914!), earth is considered irrelevant. They only good deed is getting converts, ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-just-stopped-by-my-house/544131/25 "2010-06-22T17:27:31Z")
The mindset of these folks is bewildering to the point that their visits can only be explained as part of doing penance, rather than realistically thinking they will convert anyone. Take the duo from the Church Of The Revealed Annoyance that rang my bell one Sunday morning, interrupting my breakfast and newspaper. I open the door (mistake) in full unshaven frowsiness wearing my ratty bathrobe. The normal reaction would be to say “Sorry to have disturbed you, sir” and leave. These two brightly start in on how they’ve come to rescue my poor lost soul. Their reward was a look of disgusted disbelief, a head shake and a slowly but emphatically closing door. I think that was good for another gold star in the logbook of See What We’ve Undergone For You Jesus. I keep thinking it would be nice to keep a loaded Flit gun by the door, but never get around to it. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-just-stopped-by-my-house/544131/26 "2010-06-22T17:45:15Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > I think that was good for another gold star in the logbook of See What We’ve Undergone For You Jesus. Nitpick: See What We’ve Done For You Jehovah. JW’s regard Jesus as _a_ god, not _THE_ God. There’ only one God Jehovah. Jesus is only a god. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-just-stopped-by-my-house/544131/27 "2010-06-22T18:02:54Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Nitpick: See What We’ve Done For You Jehovah. > > JW’s regard Jesus as _a_ god, not _THE_ God. There’ only one God Jehovah. Jesus is only a god. Otherwise they’d be Jesus’s Witnesses and that’s way too many esses. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-just-stopped-by-my-house/544131/28 "2010-06-22T18:06:29Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > Otherwise they’d be Jesus’s Witnesses and that’s way too many esses. And if they were founded by attorney author Andrew Vachss, they would be Vachss’s Jesus’s Witnesses. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-just-stopped-by-my-house/544131/29 "2010-06-22T18:24:08Z")
The last time that I had a proselytizer, I was running out the door. My wife thought I was being rude to interject in his spiel with “Look. I’m Buddhist, she’s Jewish, we’re happy, and frankly about to leave for a wedding so get off my porch.” I thought I was being rather demure, myself. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-just-stopped-by-my-house/544131/30 "2010-06-22T19:15:01Z")
My grandparents used to own this lake cottage. Onetime when I was about 2 or 3 I was up there with just my mom and our collie-mix, Gracie. These two missionaries (don’t remember which church they were from) came by. Both were young men in suits. Mom was polite and spoke to them a little bit, then told them she wasn’t interested and asked them to leave. Then one of them put his foor in the door so she couldn’t close it and kept talking. Gracie didn’t like this. She attacked him and he ended up going to the ER for stitches. He sued. The judge dismissed the suit and made him pay court costs because he was trespassing (he stuck his foot in the door _after_ being told to leave) and the dog was only doing it’s “duty by protecting it’s mistress”. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-just-stopped-by-my-house/544131/31 "2010-06-22T19:39:35Z")
Last time someone visited me to save me, I knew not to answer the door. My computer desk, where I happened to be sitting for their arrival, is beside a window that looks on the driveway. I saw the minivan pull up, ascertained that I didn’t know who was coming, and further determined what they’d come for. I knew they wouldn’t see me because they wouldn’t be passing the window, so I just stayed put. They rang the doorbell, and the dog barked like a maniac. They rang it again, she barked again, and they left. Easy-peasy. This morning as I was filling my car, a woman pulled up on the other side of the tank and offered me some tracts. I said “No, thanks” and she got back in her car and drove off. Truly an odd encounter - and she chose me from all the cars filling up that morning… ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-just-stopped-by-my-house/544131/32 "2010-06-22T19:48:58Z")
> [@Wheelz](#): > > My method, which works amazingly well, is very simple: “Sorry, I’m not interested.” _:close door and go back to whatever I was doing:_ > > I know it’s less entertaining than some of the OP’s ideas, but really, why do people feel the need to have a confrontation or make some sort of point when these folks show up? Not worth my time. This. When I lived in Urbana, the Witnesses would come by every six months or so. Courtesy usually did the trick. That said, I was always waiting for them to get into it with the LDS missionaries downstairs. No kidding. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-just-stopped-by-my-house/544131/33 "2010-06-22T20:22:56Z")
I gather that JHs don’t celebrate Halloween. Apparently they don’t like having strangers walk up to their houses and ring their doorbells. (Joke stolen from Jay Leno) ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-just-stopped-by-my-house/544131/34 "2010-06-22T20:49:35Z")
When I used to drink a lot, actively consuming alcohol in their presence really bugs the shit out of Mormons. I would invite them in and debate them about some of their religious views, particularly their belief about the tribes of Israel crossing the oceans in ancient times and living in North America amongst Native Americans, having metallurgy inexplicably before the rest of the developed ancient world, etc. I recall my wife asking them in once, she listened to them in gullibly dewy-eyed fashion and they asked if we could all pray. The “leader” guy asked me to please stop drinking my beer while the prayer was conducted. I refused, they wrapped it up and left. The look of consternation on dude’s face was priceless. He KNEW I was going to Hell. ---
**Author:** ![Canadjun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/76d3ee/32.png) [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-just-stopped-by-my-house/544131/35 "2010-06-22T21:05:14Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > I shaved everything from my toenails up and went whole hog. You shaved **everything**?:eek: ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-just-stopped-by-my-house/544131/36 "2010-06-22T21:09:33Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > I think they are the ones being jerks first. Seriously, going to the homes of people you don’t know early in the morning interupting their sleep or other activities to force your religious views on them so you can earn one of a limited number of spaces in heaven? IMO, that’s being a jerk. I’d have a better opinion of them if they spent their Saturday mornings doing actual charitable works, like working in food kitchen, reading to the elderly, or picking up litter along the highway. If I were God, I’d give people more heaven points for that stuff than just annoying people in their homes. Ya. I know. But on the other hand I don’t need to be a reciprocal jerk. I take their pamphlet, smile and nod and remain pleasant. They must get enough shit from people. Being polite for 5 minutes isn’t going to kill me. ---
**Author:** ![Rhodes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhodes/32/273_2.png) [@Rhodes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhodes)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-just-stopped-by-my-house/544131/37 "2010-06-22T21:59:34Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Ya. I know. But on the other hand I don’t need to be a reciprocal jerk. I take their pamphlet, smile and nod and remain pleasant. They must get enough shit from people. Being polite for 5 minutes isn’t going to kill me. I agree. I get frequent visits from Baha’i and JW missionaries at my door and in public places. No reason not to be polite. Although I doubt I’d let it go on anywhere near 5 minutes of wasting my time and theirs. But I have a soft spot for Mormons, and we’ll usually end up chatting for quite a while. As long as the banter doesn’t involve religion. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-just-stopped-by-my-house/544131/38 "2010-06-22T22:02:45Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Ya. I know. But on the other hand I don’t need to be a reciprocal jerk. I take their pamphlet, smile and nod and remain pleasant. They must get enough shit from people. Being polite for 5 minutes isn’t going to kill me. They wake me up and expect me to be pleasant before I’ve had my coffee, they’re the ones playing with fire. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-just-stopped-by-my-house/544131/39 "2010-06-22T22:13:30Z")
I’m generally a peaceable man. Live and let live and all that. Up until the point that somebody knocks on my door early on a weekend morning. That act of utter thoughtlessness is fair provocation for me to be less than pleasant. If I happen to be hungover, well, they’ll be hitting the bonus round for Jesus Points, because they are quite likely to get an epic cussing. I’d expect the same if I was to go knock on the door of their church and start passing out beers to the congregation. Believe whatever the fuck you want, but **THOU SHALT NOT DISTURBETH OAK ON WEEKENDS, OR HE MIGHT SMITETH THINE ASS**. ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-just-stopped-by-my-house/544131/40 "2010-06-23T00:48:24Z")
I remember about 35 years ago, I was watching Saturday morning cartoons. I happened to look out our picture window and saw my friend Aaron and his father walking up the drive, dressed in black slacks and white shirts. I called to my mom, “My friend Aaron’s coming to the door. And it looks like he’s with his dad.” “Which one’s Aaron?” my mom inquired. “He’s one of the kids that doesn’t stand during the Pledge of Allegiance.” My mom quickly peeked out the window, told me, “I’m not here,” and scooted out of the front rooms. So she left to address Aaron and his dad. At least they had the decency not to try to proselytize me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-just-stopped-by-my-house/544131.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-just-stopped-by-my-house/544131.md?page=3)