# Jehovah's Witnesses tell people to stop masturbating **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 22, 2012, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-witnesses-tell-people-to-stop-masturbating/635546 "2012-09-22T22:45:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2012, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-witnesses-tell-people-to-stop-masturbating/635546/22 "2012-09-23T16:02:52Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > ASL incorporates facial expression as an element of both grammar and individual word meaning (I’ve heard it can be considered proper to sign BSL\* without much facial expression, that’s not the same in ASL), BUT yes, this is an over-the-top performance. I showed it to my ASL teacher (who is deaf) and he laughed his ass off. According to the Deaf teacher I had the pleasure to meet during a translation course, while the interpreters on British TV usually have the facial expression of planks, that’s not really what BSL should be. She also said that, in an effort to avoid dialectal signs, the BBC version ended up being “beige”. You know: not so much colorless as the most bleh color in the world. It’s the same with Spanish and Catalan SLs: most of the TV interpreters only make a facial gesture once or twice in a whole newscast, but when you see people talking on the street they talk with their whole bodies. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2012, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-witnesses-tell-people-to-stop-masturbating/635546/23 "2012-09-23T16:21:44Z")
I have heard that Italian sign language is not observably different from Italian vocal language. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2012, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-witnesses-tell-people-to-stop-masturbating/635546/24 "2012-09-23T16:55:35Z")
Misunderstood the OP. I thought this was about deaf people asking you to stop masturbating. I explained to Marlee Matlin it was just a sign of my admiration for her work. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2012, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-witnesses-tell-people-to-stop-masturbating/635546/25 "2012-09-23T17:24:41Z")
> [@Snerky\_Snerk](#): > > I would have thought that there’s a big epidemic of everyone masturbating. > > Or am I alone in that as well? Okay, true. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![scootergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@scootergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scootergirl)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2012, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-witnesses-tell-people-to-stop-masturbating/635546/26 "2012-09-23T17:33:32Z")
The ASL sign for “horny” and “understand” are somewhat similar, or at least when I took ASL it seemed to me that one of the ways of signing “horny” (there are a couple at least) are similar. I made the mistake in class of signing “I’m horny” instead of “I understand” more than once. The teacher and some of the other students would crack up when it happened. My friend that I took the class with would bang her head on the desk and just laugh. She knows me well and knew that my mistake was accurate ahem of how I’m usually feeling. Someone asked if ASL was that dramatic – yes it can be, as is masturbating :D. My cat is certainly entertained by watching … err…but that was another thread. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2012, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-witnesses-tell-people-to-stop-masturbating/635546/27 "2012-09-23T18:01:41Z")
> [@scootergirl](#): > > My cat is certainly entertained by watching … err…but that was another thread. Now I want to teach my cat to sign! ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2012, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-witnesses-tell-people-to-stop-masturbating/635546/28 "2012-09-23T21:33:58Z")
> [@Simple\_Linctus](#): > > Is this actually what American sign language looks like? It looks a bit.. dramatic > > Or does dramatising it add it more va va voom and it’s how you show inflection and stuff? I have no idea We saw the touring show of _Young Frankenstein_, and one of the funniest things was when the ASL interpreter signed “schwannstucker,” and the guy playing Igor stopped the whole show for several minutes of riffing on the sign (in a very complimentary way toward the interpreter). The actor playing Frederick could barely keep it together once the scene resumed. Anyway, the word was performed just as forcefully as you might imagine, to convey the proper meaning. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2012, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-witnesses-tell-people-to-stop-masturbating/635546/29 "2012-09-23T23:53:51Z")
2 thoughts - 1. not the kind of conversation you want to walk into the middle of 2. isn’t this the kind of material thats better left to the written word? after all, telling someone (thru sign) to stop masterbating looks an awful lot like telling a person to masterbate, and the wrong ideas might ensue ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-witnesses-tell-people-to-stop-masturbating/635546/30 "2012-09-24T00:19:07Z")
When I was in grade school, there was this girl who _I think_ was JW. She brought in these pamphlets, full of interracial people doing things, and telling you not to masturbate. We took one and giggled, because we had no idea what masturbation really was except for something to accuse your friends of doing. The school authorities quashed it pretty quick and confiscated them. I think I might remember one part showing a depressed girl and suggesting she would be driven to suicide by masturbation. ---
**Author:** ![Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/43a26b/32.png) [@Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pine_Fresh_Scent)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-witnesses-tell-people-to-stop-masturbating/635546/31 "2012-09-24T00:56:18Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-witnesses-tell-people-to-stop-masturbating/635546/32 "2012-09-24T16:29:17Z")
Yeah, the JWs tell me to stop masturbating every time I answer my door. Whatever, dudes! ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-witnesses-tell-people-to-stop-masturbating/635546/33 "2012-09-24T16:59:38Z")
> [@thelurkinghorror](#): > > I think I might remember one part showing a depressed girl and suggesting she would be driven to suicide by masturbation. What a way to go. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-witnesses-tell-people-to-stop-masturbating/635546/34 "2012-09-24T17:31:59Z")
> [@simster](#): > > 1. isn’t this the kind of material thats better left to the written word? after all, telling someone (thru sign) to stop masterbating looks an awful lot like telling a person to masterbate, and the wrong ideas might ensue Well, _something_’s gonna ensue… ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-witnesses-tell-people-to-stop-masturbating/635546/35 "2012-09-24T18:35:55Z")
> [@thelurkinghorror](#): > > When I was in grade school, there was this girl who _I think_ was JW. She brought in these pamphlets, full of interracial people doing things… One of the things that JW seem to do well, perhaps too well, is portray diversity. Not only do they show people of different races, they also show people wearing ethnic garb, implying that being one of them doesn’t require that one abandon their own culture to become a drone. Interestingly enough, the matter of uniformity of dress is very much [not](http://rorate-caeli.blogspot.com/2006/11/you-askin-your-simplicity.html) a new issue in Christianity. Apparently the Pope was asked in the 9th century whether women from a non-Christian background needed to stop wearing trousers in order to conform to proper Christian behavior, and the answer was of course not and that asking such a question was immature. It’s interesting that many Christian groups today do, in fact, require or encourage such. ---
**Author:** ![Kevbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e47774/32.png) [@Kevbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kevbo)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-witnesses-tell-people-to-stop-masturbating/635546/36 "2012-09-24T20:59:24Z")
Of course they need to stop that. They are already deaf, do they want to go blind as well? When a deaf person masturbates, does God have to find a deaf kitten to kill? ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-witnesses-tell-people-to-stop-masturbating/635546/37 "2012-09-24T22:16:58Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Well, yeah; that’s why Jehovah gives you a handjob like he said. Huh, I thought Jehovah was more of a fuck-you-in-the-ass-without-lube kinda god. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-witnesses-tell-people-to-stop-masturbating/635546/38 "2012-09-24T23:04:08Z")
> [@Quintas](#): > > This version is particularly moving: > > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaoZfzQYwao&feature=player\_embedded](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaoZfzQYwao&feature=player_embedded) It’s obvious why that guy looks so incredibly sad. Anyway . . . I worked with a JW lady for several years, and not once did she tell me to stop masturbating. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-witnesses-tell-people-to-stop-masturbating/635546/39 "2012-09-24T23:42:04Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Anyway . . . I worked with a JW lady for several years, and not once did she tell me to stop masturbating. Maybe you were doing it wrong. Should’ve done it at her desk. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-witnesses-tell-people-to-stop-masturbating/635546/40 "2012-09-24T23:55:44Z")
Was is an ex-JW who [inspired this famous thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=241922)? Did the OP hear the sound of newly found freedom? ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2012, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-witnesses-tell-people-to-stop-masturbating/635546/41 "2012-09-25T02:26:18Z")
> [@simster](#): > > 1. isn’t this the kind of material thats better left to the written word? after all, telling someone (thru sign) to stop masterbating looks an awful lot like telling a person to masterbate, and the wrong ideas might ensue Ay, there’s the rub… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jehovahs-witnesses-tell-people-to-stop-masturbating/635546.md?page=1)