# Jennifer Lopez Can't Dance **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 9, 2001, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez-cant-dance/49247 "2001-01-09T23:46:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez-cant-dance/49247/1 "2001-01-09T23:46:26Z")
At all. I mean at ALL. Somebody sit her in a chair while she sings (not that I enjoy that, but at it is what she does)! Sorry… SNL rerun and she was the guest… ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez-cant-dance/49247/2 "2001-01-10T00:19:32Z")
Jennifer Lopez should shoot all her videos in bikini, on the beach, like that last song of her, whatsitcalled. How would I know, I’ve got the TV on mute and I’m playing Pink Floyd at full volume over the stereo. Still, that girl has a great pair of buttocks, to put it mildly. ---
**Author:** ![Spiritus\_Mundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Spiritus\_Mundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiritus_Mundi)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez-cant-dance/49247/3 "2001-01-10T00:37:20Z")
Can’t stand her “music”, but her groove gets a standing ovation. Didn’t she dance professionally, though? I think she was a Fly Girl on _In Living Color_. That said, I like watching her dance for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with artistic merit. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez-cant-dance/49247/4 "2001-01-10T01:04:50Z")
Yeah, she _was_ a Fly Girl, and I totally disagree with the OP- she _can_ dance, and dance well. She must have had a bad night on SNL or something. Her singing…now _theres_ another matter. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez-cant-dance/49247/5 "2001-01-10T01:28:42Z")
Yeah she can… but she has an uncannily amazing ability to pick horrible choreographers. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez-cant-dance/49247/6 "2001-01-10T01:33:34Z")
Coldfire - “Love Don’t Cost a Thing” And I’ll agree with amarinth and say that _she_ is good. It’s just that her choreographers don’t know what they’re doing. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez-cant-dance/49247/7 "2001-01-10T01:43:40Z")
Well on her SNL spot she didn’t do anything that looked like choreography to me… she just sort of chicken-walked around a bit, and did this sort of squat-and-bob thing, and generally looked lost about how to move. And when she did move she looked ridiculous. I think maybe a choreographer can make her look like she can dance, but when left on her own, she ain’t got it. ---
**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez-cant-dance/49247/8 "2001-01-10T01:49:44Z")
Well, the only song I like of her’s is “Feel so Good”, but only because it features Big Pun and Fat Joe. It has a good hook, too, so that helps. In any case, the club mix of that song is good, because the “remixedness” drowns out her vocals and all you can really hear, or more feel, is the “oomph-bumpa-oomph, oomph-bumpa-oomph” that makes the grinding you’re doing with the club kid you met who has a Jennifer Lopez booty that much more enjoyable. ---
**Author:** ![Upham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Upham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Upham)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez-cant-dance/49247/9 "2001-01-10T02:09:11Z")
I recall bitching about a bass player having too much volume in the mix at a concert to a friend once. He turned to me and said “man, when you sell as many records as those guys, THEN you can bitch” My point? **Maybe you dance like shit too!** And when you get payed as much change as she does you can bitch about it. Untill then sit back, relax, and know that the only good thing about American Music is the song by the Violent Femmes. Upham ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez-cant-dance/49247/10 "2001-01-10T02:13:14Z")
I don’t dance like shit. I used to get paid to dance my own self. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez-cant-dance/49247/11 "2001-01-10T02:20:23Z")
> [@](#): > > Maybe you dance like shit too! So, you’re saying, the only way a person is allowed to critique (or criticize) someone else is if they can do it better? Bullshit. I sure do dance like shit. Which is why I don’t dance. Just because I can’t dance, that doesn’t mean I’m unable to recognize good (or bad) dancing when I see it. ---
**Author:** ![Upham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Upham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Upham)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez-cant-dance/49247/12 "2001-01-10T02:41:31Z")
> [@](#): > > So, you’re saying, the only way a person is allowed to critique (or criticize) someone else is if they can do it better? > > Bullshit. No, i’m saying you’re in no position to be a critic until you’ve done what the person you’re making the criticisem of has. Critics are bullshit. Upham ---
**Author:** ![Upham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Upham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Upham)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez-cant-dance/49247/13 "2001-01-10T02:45:37Z")
**OpalCat** Sorry, i wasn’t saying that you DO dance like shit, i was using an example. If it makes you feel any better, the last time i danced i had to drink for 2 days after. I don’t remember why and i’ll never know because while i was out of it i made everyone i know swear not to tell me. I assume this is because i dance _that_ bad. Upham ---
**Author:** ![Nacho4Sara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Nacho4Sara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nacho4Sara)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez-cant-dance/49247/14 "2001-01-10T06:17:48Z")
I like her dancing, it’s her voice I can’t stand. I hated it in “Selena” - does anyone else notice how high-strung and whiny it is? Her and Demi, man - I’m always afraid they’re gonna burst into tears and collapse. On a lighter note, I was flipping through the channels a week or so ago and noticed some show on MTV that featured (and I can’t preclude this with anything, cause I immediatly changed the channel) her running in the sand and then falling on her ass. They even did a three-screen shot of it. Glorious, beautiful. Made my day. And yes, she has a fabulous ass. I’d love to trade her some of my tits for some of her ass. I’m mentally composing my fifth letter to her about this as we speak. ---
**Author:** ![City\_Gent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a87d85/32.png) [@City\_Gent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/City_Gent)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez-cant-dance/49247/15 "2001-01-10T06:36:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Upham \* > \*\* > No, i’m saying you’re in no position to be a critic until you’ve done what the person you’re making the criticisem of has. > > Critics are bullshit. > Upham \*\* You forgot to capitalize “I”, you misspelled “criticism”, and your sentence is awkwardly structured. Also, your choice of the word “bullshit” is questionable; perhaps a better word would have been “shitheads”. _runs_ ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez-cant-dance/49247/16 "2001-01-10T07:34:40Z")
Never mind her dancing, has anyone _ever_ seen an uglier pair of sunglasses than the one she’s wearing in that video? ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez-cant-dance/49247/17 "2001-01-10T08:20:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nacho4Sara \* > \*\*I like her dancing, it’s her voice I can’t stand. I hated it in “Selena” - does anyone else notice how high-strung and whiny it is? \*\* Actually, the singing in “Selena” the movie was Lopez lip-synching to Selena’s original vocals. So it’s Selena’s own voice you don’t like. Read about it [here](http://www.suntimes.com/ebert/ebert_reviews/1997/03/032103.html). It’s quite a ways down. ---
**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez-cant-dance/49247/18 "2001-01-10T08:55:51Z")
Yeah, and??? Oh, wait, is this news? Should I post a big OMG! (Oh, my, Goddess!) Sorry, don’t mean to be flippant and all but… I saw the SNL of which Opal speaks and to me she looked like one of the chicks in the MST3K movie “The Girl in the Gold Boots”. If you haven’t seen it you should; you’d totally get what Opal is talking about. She might be able to dance but she sure as shit couldn’t that night. She looked like spaghetti waving around in a pasta pot without enough water. Frankly, even drunk off my ass _I_ could dance better than that… and that ain’t saying MUCH… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![stofsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@stofsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stofsky)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez-cant-dance/49247/19 "2001-01-10T12:39:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Upham \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > So, you’re saying, the only way a person is allowed to critique (or criticize) someone else is if they can do it better? > > > > Bullshit. > > No, i’m saying you’re in no position to be a critic until you’ve done what the person you’re making the criticisem of has. > > Critics are bullshit. > Upham \*\* Until you become a better critic, you have no right to criticize critics. Stof (Damn that double-edged sword) ---
**Author:** ![Upham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Upham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Upham)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez-cant-dance/49247/20 "2001-01-10T17:04:03Z")
**CityGent** Thanks man, but my Mum is an English teacher so if i (lower case i) really need my posts gone over i (lower case i) have some where else to take them. Also, i (lower case i) typically don’t capitalize my i (again, lower case i), it’s an e. e. cummings sort of thing. **stofsky** If it wasn’t for double edged swords things would be so much less interesting… Upham [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez-cant-dance/49247.md?page=2)