# Jennifer Lopez **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 13, 2002, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617 "2002-12-13T21:45:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Omnipresent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8c91f0/32.png) [@Omnipresent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omnipresent)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/21 "2002-12-13T23:40:40Z")
And another thing… I’ve read recently at the checkout counter that she’s requiring sex “at least” four times a week from Afleck in the pre-nup. Always seeing things a bit different than others, what that tells me is that Afleck is NOT doing the job in the rack. If she needs it “at least” four times a week, he must not be “Hittin’ it”!! I, for one, would like to give her a Dirty Sanchez!!! ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/22 "2002-12-13T23:44:34Z")
Omni: Dude. Log off of the porn sites and get yourself a girlfriend. Stat. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/23 "2002-12-13T23:50:54Z")
Before anyone asks, I’ll just note that a dirty sanchez is when you are banging the chick up the backdoor and after it is all done, you draw a little mustache on her upper lip with your dirty member. ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/24 "2002-12-13T23:54:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Neurotik \* > \*\*Before anyone asks, I’ll just note that a dirty sanchez is when you are banging the chick up the backdoor and after it is all done, you draw a little mustache on her upper lip with your dirty member. \*\* Yeah, thanks. I’m no Alan-Alda-esque hypersensitive bleeding heart by a longshot, but the list of ‘sex acts’ this originated on has been bouncing around the internet for some time, and it’s some brutally misogynistic shit. I’d sincerely hope anyone who actually attempted anything in that list ended up with his testicles in his sinuses. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/25 "2002-12-13T23:55:17Z")
:eek: ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/26 "2002-12-13T23:59:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by apotheosis \* > \*\*I’d sincerely hope anyone who actually attempted anything in that list ended up with his testicles in his sinuses. \*\* My guess is you would be lucky to get your testicles back. But I don’t think anyone is stupid enough to actually try it. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/27 "2002-12-14T00:00:46Z")
My wife and I saw the “Jenny from the Block” video, or whatever the fuck it is, last night. There’s a shot of Aflac strokin’ his palms away on Jenny’s bikini’d ass. We both blinked and were struck open-mouthed. Oh, and the song itself is retarded. J-Lo was cool in _Selena_ and _Out of Sight._ Lately, though, she’s apparently trying to spend her celebrity capital as fast as she can. Anybody remember MC Hammer? That’s what I thought. ---
**Author:** ![Omnipresent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8c91f0/32.png) [@Omnipresent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omnipresent)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/28 "2002-12-14T00:18:33Z")
Well, all I know is, if I were Afleck I’d be giving her a Cleveland Steamer four times a week! Neurotik - if you please? ---
**Author:** ![Witch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Witch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Witch)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/29 "2002-12-14T00:31:27Z")
Wheeeeeee! We’re fighting ignorance AND slamming that one dimensional mega-bore J.Lo! ---
**Author:** ![japatlgt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df705f/32.png) [@japatlgt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/japatlgt)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/30 "2002-12-14T00:33:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Omnipresent \* > \*\*I’ve read recently at the checkout counter that she’s requiring sex “at least” four times a week from Afleck in the pre-nup. > > Always seeing things a bit different than others, what that tells me is that Afleck is NOT doing the job in the rack. \*\* Oh, no! Not at all! It’s instructions for the impregnation ceremony (honeymoon). Or worse yet! WAKE UP, BEN! IT’S A TRAP! ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/31 "2002-12-14T00:42:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Neurotik \* > \*\*Before anyone asks, I’ll just note that a dirty sanchez is when you are banging the chick up the backdoor and after it is all done, you draw a little mustache on her upper lip with your dirty member. \*\* Don’t forget to yell out “DIRTY SANCHEZ!!!”, while you doing that last part. This thread is by far the strangest quasi-hijack I’ve ever seen. ---
**Author:** ![pesch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pesch/32/4925_2.png) [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/32 "2002-12-14T00:43:17Z")
I can’t believe I’ve lived this long without ever hearing “putting a map of Hawaii on her back.” I can believe that I understood what you meant as soon as I read it. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/33 "2002-12-14T01:46:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Omnipresent \* > \*\*Well, all I know is, if I were Afleck I’d be giving her a Cleveland Steamer four times a week! > > Neurotik - if you please? \*\* I think I’d really rather not develop into the bizarre sex acts answer man of the SDMB so I think I’m going to leave this one alone. It’s when you wait for your soon to be ex-SO to fall asleep after sex and then take a crap on his/her chest. Frankly, I don’t think J-Lo would put up with that more than once. ---
**Author:** ![alibey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@alibey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alibey)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/34 "2002-12-14T02:35:39Z")
learning new words and phrases here 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/35 "2002-12-14T02:49:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MrMyth \* > \*\*How many other ‘Jennys from the block’ get to ride around on the sundeck of a yacht with Ben Affleck? If you’re going to try and keep your street cred, then at least show ‘the block’ in the fucking video… \*\* The above sentiment is what goes through my mind every single time I see that piece-of-crap video. Like, what, we’re supposed to take her word for it? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/36 "2002-12-14T02:53:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Neurotik \* > \*\*I think I’d really rather not develop into the bizarre sex acts answer man of the SDMB so I think I’m going to leave this one alone. > > It’s when you wait for your soon to be ex-SO to fall asleep after sex and then take a crap on his/her chest. Frankly, I don’t think J-Lo would put up with that more than once. \*\* I wonder if puffy tried that one on her. Btw feel free to relinquish your title to google. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/37 "2002-12-14T03:00:53Z")
That’s probably for the best. Although, sometimes people posting these definitions helps quite a bit. It took me quite a while to figure out what felching was. ---
**Author:** ![Witch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Witch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Witch)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/38 "2002-12-14T03:08:14Z")
I still don’t know. I’m such an innocent. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/39 "2002-12-14T03:41:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Witch \* > \*\*I still don’t know. I’m such an innocent. \*\* For the love of Cecil, NOBODY ENLIGHTEN **Witch** , PLEASE!! ---
**Author:** ![Witch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Witch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Witch)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/40 "2002-12-14T03:52:54Z")
I’m still reeling from everything else I’ve learned today. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617.md?page=3)