# Jennifer Lopez **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 13, 2002, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617 "2002-12-13T21:45:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/81 "2002-12-16T06:22:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nutty Bunny \* > \*\ ***Smeghead** , Don’t you get any oral pleasure from brushing your teeth? I mean, the toothpaste I use is so tingly and refreshing–very pleasurable indeed. 😃 \*\* Hey baby, I brush, floss, bleach, and use three kinds of mouthwash. 😉 😃 And I wear full makeup on the beach (and pretty much everywhere). I only wish I had a fur coat. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Kyomara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8edcca/32.png) [@Kyomara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyomara)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/82 "2002-12-16T08:07:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Neurotik \* > \*\*It’s when you wait for your soon to be ex-SO to fall asleep after sex and then take a crap on his/her chest. Frankly, I don’t think J-Lo would put up with that more than once. \*\* No, no, no! That’s the HOT LUNCH. A Cleveland Steamer is when you wrap your partner in celophane before you poop on them. That’s how I learned it, anyway. My new fave is “Putting the Dog in the Bathtub.” Can anyone guess what this one is? Gwan, guess… ---
**Author:** ![NightRabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbce88/32.png) [@NightRabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NightRabbit)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/83 "2002-12-16T08:14:43Z")
I can guess, but I don’t want to… … …would the girl need her mouthwash afterwards? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Reuben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/54ee81/32.png) [@Reuben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reuben)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/84 "2002-12-16T10:46:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Witch \* > \*\*They really should make an English/Pervertese dictionary. > \*\* The online version is not updated anything like enough, but [Viz Comic’s “Roger’s Profanisaurus”](http://www.viz.co.uk/profanisaurus/profanis.htm) is worth a browse. In the magazine, two recent additions were worthy of committing to memory : _ **Dirty Bristow** _. Sexual act performed by a woman on a standing man. She’s kneeling behind him, er, orally pleasuring his… y’know… and at the same time using one hand to manually stimulating his … um … whatnot. All will become clear if you remember that Eric Bristow was and is a very famous darts player. _ **Ant & Dec** _. A pornographic picture, generally a from behind close-up of shaven female genitals, ie you can plainly see a _bald twat_ and a _little arsehole_. You won’t get this if you don’t know who Ant McPartlin and Declan Donelly are. ---
**Author:** ![ninevah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/46a35a/32.png) [@ninevah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ninevah)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/85 "2002-12-16T11:21:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Badtz Maru \* > \*\*‘Out of Sight’ was the movie. It’s a very brief scene, a quick cut of Ms. Lopez bouncing across a bed, she may have been nude but I am not sure, it was less than a second but I did see nipples. > \*\* I think Ms Lopez was also showing a bit of tit in _Money Train_ too… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Philosopher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3ec8ea/32.png) [@The\_Great\_Philosopher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Philosopher)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/86 "2002-12-16T12:14:18Z")
I always wonder why she constantly talks about how ‘real’ she is, when she only ever sings about love, or how ‘real’ she is. Can you be ‘real’ about how ‘real’ you are? It’s also kind of funny how she never said a word about the Bronx, or the block, until it became popular, in the Hip Hop culture, to do so. Being from the Bronx doesn’t make you a tough ghetto queen, honey. I doubt her upbringing was all too arduous either. ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/87 "2002-12-16T15:01:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NightRabbit \* > \*\*I can guess, but I don’t want to… > > … > > …would the girl need her mouthwash afterwards? :eek: \*\* Well, if she wants a more tingly sensation, then sure. [sub]I really hope no one is buying this.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/88 "2002-12-16T15:46:27Z")
For those who cant picture what a Dirty Bristow is, it is also known as a Dirty Trombone. ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/89 "2002-12-16T16:42:55Z")
Oh, that’s MUCH clearer. Wha? Wait, scratch that, I probably don’t want to know anyway. :o ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/90 "2002-12-16T16:46:42Z")
ok, mime playing a trombone. ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/91 "2002-12-16T17:22:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TwistofFate \* > \*\*ok, mime playing a trombone. \*\* Then is that just a fancy term for ‘fisting’? 😕 Note to self: Enter these in Palm pilot for future reference. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/92 "2002-12-16T17:24:31Z")
your hand isnt entering anything. ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/93 "2002-12-16T17:59:18Z")
Oooooooh. Okay. Well, that’s already in my repertoire. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![KarmaComa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e36b37/32.png) [@KarmaComa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarmaComa)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/94 "2002-12-16T18:13:02Z")
Try “Rusty Trombone”… the mouthpiece is rusty, i.e. encrusted with brown stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/95 "2002-12-16T18:20:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TwistofFate \* > \*\*For those who cant picture what a Dirty Bristow is, it is also known as a Dirty Trombone. \*\* Goddamnit I play the trombone, well I might have to quit now. I can’t believe it, I thought I knew a thing or two about sex, after reading this thread I now know I know nothing. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/96 "2002-12-16T19:07:29Z")
Since you are now giving all these phrases, here’s a place where you can find more (or the meaning of them): [Adult material (not pornographic, though)](http://www.dirty-proverbs.com/) ---
**Author:** ![dalovindj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/65b543/32.png) [@dalovindj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalovindj)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/97 "2002-12-16T19:43:59Z")
I’d like to give her a nice rodeo. That’s where you invite a bunch of friends over who go and hide in the closet. You then bring the person you intend to ride over. You turn the lights off, get all romantic, and when things heat up and get going nice, your friends jump out of the closet, turn on the lights, and start hollerin’ and Yee-Hawin’ and cheering you on, while someone records how long you can stay on . . . The record is 28 sec. I’ think I could get 3 minutes on J-Lo. . . DaLovin’ Dj ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/98 "2002-12-16T20:03:58Z")
It wouldn’t have to be all of Hawaii, would it? Seems like just Pearl Harbor would do. ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/99 "2002-12-16T20:15:09Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Nutty Bunny_ > \*\*Well, that’s already in my repertoire. 😉 \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KarmaComa \* > \*\*Try “Rusty Trombone”… the mouthpiece is rusty, i.e. encrusted with brown stuff. \*\* Never mind! Never mind! I thought we were talking about a BJ with some stroking involved! ---
**Author:** ![Kyomara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8edcca/32.png) [@Kyomara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyomara)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617/100 "2002-12-17T00:41:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Great Philosopher \* > **It’s also kind of funny how she never said a word about the Bronx, or the block, until it became popular, in the Hip Hop culture, to do so.** You mean, like, 1983? **Reuben,** it interested me that the most comprehensive listing of odd sexual maneuvers I have seen was in a British magazine, and you are in Britain as well. Can we assume that the market has been cornered? By the way, “putting the dog in the bath” means to insert your testicle into your partner’s chocolate starfish. The maneuver is so named as a metaphor for how difficult and slippery the whole operation is. The payoff is great, though. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-lopez/142617.md?page=6)