# Jennifer Wilbanks, you've got A LOT of apologies to start making **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 30, 2005, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852 "2005-04-30T11:46:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/1 "2005-04-30T11:46:07Z")
Jennifer Wilbanks, you’ve got A LOT of apologies to start making to family. friends, authorities, volunteers, investigated suspects. **everybody**. To make it worse, you initially concocted a cock-a-mamie kidnap story blaming a Latino male and a his girlfriend. At least blame someone of your own ethnicity if you’re going to create an imaginary abduction story because you’re a stupid lying fickle bitch. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/2 "2005-04-30T11:59:19Z")
Link? ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/3 "2005-04-30T12:01:20Z")
I was thinking runaway bride soon after seeing all those deer-in-the-headlights pictures of her. Every picture has the exact same pop-eyed expression, the girl clearly has issues. ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/4 "2005-04-30T12:07:12Z")
[http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/04/30/wilbanks.found/index.html](http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/04/30/wilbanks.found/index.html) And because her first call was to her fiance where she first told her lies, the whole family was outside celebrating with the media and saying how the wedding (which was supposed to be today) is only postponed not cancelled, as it has been since the disappearance. And how her return would now lead to an even bigger and happier wedding. Needless to say, shortly after the truth emerged, they asked the media to leave and retreated indoors. Lying cunt. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/5 "2005-04-30T12:10:36Z")
I’m stunned. To put her parents and fiancee through that? All her friends and family said she was excited about the wedding. Do they not know her at all? I would submit the wedding is officially off. Poor dude. Talk about a Runaway Bride! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/6 "2005-04-30T12:13:57Z")
_You know, I have a great idea. Let’s abduct someone in Georgia, drive her to New Mexico, and release her unharmed_. Who on earth would believe that story? ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/7 "2005-04-30T12:20:09Z")
Frankly I was ready to suspect the groom. I am glad to have been taught a lesson about jumping to conclusions. In any case, a great ending. She is a little embarrassed, but not hurt. Good news. We can only hope she gets some sort of mental health help and gets some new pictures taken without that wild-eyed look right into the camera. She is unstable. She runs marathons. Unrelated? Perhaps. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/8 "2005-04-30T12:20:42Z")
I’m wondering if this didn’t get away from her. She decided to take off to think, her fiance calls the police, a nationwide search starts because she is young and beautiful, about to be married and it’s a slow news cycle. She panics, realizing she’s started something she can’t finish, and tries to come up with a story to explain her disappearance. The police, not being idiots, quickly unravel her story and she’s exposed. I can’t believe someone would sit down and plan to terrify their loved ones a few days before their wedding. And if she didn’t have her purse with her, how did she get all the way to New Mexico? ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/9 "2005-04-30T12:51:37Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > I’m wondering if this didn’t get away from her. > > She decided to take off to think, her fiance calls the police, a nationwide search starts because she is young and beautiful, about to be married and it’s a slow news cycle. Doesn’t explain why she cut off a hunk of her hair and left it by the jogging track. Cold feet, sure, but the appearance of something sinister causing her disappearance seem deliberately engineered. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/10 "2005-04-30T13:05:40Z")
> [@](#): > > To make it worse, you initially concocted a cock-a-mamie kidnap story blaming a Latino male and a his girlfriend. And here I was figuring it was the same people that killed Butters. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/11 "2005-04-30T13:08:52Z")
> [@cazzle](#): > > Doesn’t explain why she cut off a hunk of her hair and left it by the jogging track. Maybe she was channeling Julia Roberts in _Sleeping with the Enemy_? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/12 "2005-04-30T13:21:48Z")
Her fiance should now do the disappearing act. But he’s probably dumb enough to marry this flake. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/13 "2005-04-30T13:29:28Z")
When I first read her story my first thought was that she made it up and we would soon see it exposed. People are weird! ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/14 "2005-04-30T13:39:16Z")
She had **8** bridal showers! 8! There were 14 bridesmaids and 600 guests! Is it any wonder she got overwhelmed? No, I’m not excusing her. But for crying out loud, why were they concentrating so much on the wedding and not on the bride to be? ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/15 "2005-04-30T14:24:16Z")
Tell me that 600 people are showing up at the wedding and I’d panic and run for New Mexico too. Following this story overnight, as soon as they reported that she called her fiancé FIRST, I knew she was a runaway, because who the hell makes a collect call immediately after being kidnapped. I hope she at least remembered to dial down the middle to save cash. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/16 "2005-04-30T14:28:08Z")
> [@Barbarian](#): > > Following this story overnight, as soon as they reported that she called her fiancé FIRST, I knew she was a runaway, because who the hell makes a collect call immediately after being kidnapped. I don’t get it. You mean, she should have called 911 first? ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/17 "2005-04-30T14:38:45Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > I don’t get it. You mean, she should have called 911 first? Absolutely. You’ve been kidnapped and dropped off in the middle of you-don’t-know-where. You don’t know if the kidnappers are just toying with you, or if they’re going to change their minds and come back for you. I think the logical thing to do would _not_ be make a collect call to my fiance who is halfway across the country and unable to do much of anything. Call 911, which is free from any payphone, stay on the line with the operator in case the kidnappers come back, and demand to call fiance from the police station as soon as you walk in the door. At least that would save on the collect call changes. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/18 "2005-04-30T14:41:12Z")
She saw no media coverage while on the road? This lying cunt needs a good bitch slap. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/19 "2005-04-30T14:45:49Z")
I see. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![MizQuirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/94ad74/32.png) [@MizQuirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MizQuirk)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/20 "2005-04-30T15:09:00Z")
> [@Barbarian](#): > > I hope she at least remembered to dial down the middle to save cash. How does one do this, please? Miz, always lookin’ to save some cash [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852.md?page=2)