# Jennifer Wilbanks, you've got A LOT of apologies to start making **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 30, 2005, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852 "2005-04-30T11:46:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/21 "2005-04-30T15:20:02Z")
[Carrot Top] DIAL C-A-L-L-A-T-T FOR COLLECT CALLS!!![/Carrot Top] Bleh. I need a shower now. ---
**Author:** ![MizQuirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/94ad74/32.png) [@MizQuirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MizQuirk)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/22 "2005-04-30T15:27:44Z")
> [@Marlitharn](#): > > [Carrot Top] DIAL C-A-L-L-A-T-T FOR COLLECT CALLS!!![/Carrot Top] > > Bleh. I need a shower now. Oh m’god. So sorry. Double thanks for your response. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/23 "2005-04-30T15:42:18Z")
> [@Marlitharn](#): > > [Carrot Top] DIAL C-A-L-L-A-T-T FOR COLLECT CALLS!!![/Carrot Top] > > Bleh. I need a shower now. Not only a shower, but according to my SDMB-Reputation-o-Meter, your charisma has dropped by two levels. ---
**Author:** ![Hodge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Hodge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hodge)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/24 "2005-04-30T15:55:46Z")
> [@ccwaterback](#): > > She saw no media coverage while on the road? This lying cunt needs a good bitch slap. What she needs is to be charged. What she did was criminal and a horrific waste of public resources. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/25 "2005-04-30T15:57:32Z")
The story is still very, very fresh. Media reports of police being interviewed in Albuquerque state she called 911, as well as other numbers (plural). Obviously, this woman comes from a very well-off family and well-connected family to be a part of such a huge wedding. I will also assume she probably had a better than average education. I do not believe for a second that she did not know her own disappearance would raise such a ruckus. From all indications so far, he knew what she was doing, and yes, she probably got cold feet. Clearly, she has serious issues. Whether or not she should be charged I will hold on that. But if she is not charged, she needs help. She should not get off scot-free. ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/26 "2005-04-30T16:10:35Z")
A police chief said she wouldn’t be charged. Why would that be? I certainly hope the man does Not marry her, who knows what she will do then if anything stressful comes up? Poor guy. ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/27 "2005-04-30T16:37:42Z")
Finally a missing persons case where the person wasn’t murdered. ‘Cuz that shit’s gettin’ old. ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/28 "2005-04-30T16:38:22Z")
I feel so bad for her fiance. She whips up a frenzy of national media coverage, then basically says, “So sorry, after all I just didn’t want to marry YOU.” ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/29 "2005-04-30T16:43:10Z")
So, how soon before the dopey cow (and maybe her family) starts profiting from this little stunt? ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/30 "2005-04-30T16:52:51Z")
> [@ParentalAdvisory](#): > > Finally a missing persons case where the person wasn’t murdered. ‘Cuz that shit’s gettin’ old. There was another one of those a while back. Shortly after Dru Sjodin disappeared, another college student faked her own abduction. And there was that woman who claimed she’d been abducted by her ex-boyfriend who dragged her all around the South in his truck, and that turned out to be fake. I think that woman was charged with something. To paraphrase another poster’s comment (under different circumstances), it’s not a matter of being upset because it turned out to be nothing, it’s a matter of being upset because it had to “turn out” at all. This has to be against some law—fraud, maybe? Wasting the taxpayers’ money? **ccwaterback** , is that her claim, that she saw no media coverage? ---
**Author:** ![Zulema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/db5fbb/32.png) [@Zulema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zulema)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/31 "2005-04-30T17:02:17Z")
Well, I think we could all have a little sympathy. I wouldn’t think that anyone who pulls this kind of stunt is mentally stable. The only thing I fault her for is crying “kidnapping” once she came to her senses. Sure she worried her family by disappearing but I think, at that time, she probably wasn’t able to make rational decisions. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/32 "2005-04-30T17:07:16Z")
About the whole " At least blame someone of your own ethnicity if you’re going to create an imaginary abduction story" thing: is this racism, or ethnocentrism? Not that I want to take her side on any part of this story, but isn’t it just good sense to blame an abduction that never happened on someone way out of your ethicnity? I mean, if a white girl says that “some white guys” abducted her, it would make sense if she were able to supply a lot more details, but if some Asian-looking guys did it, or some black guys, it might be more plausible if her details were fuzzier. Wouldn’t the police expect more detailed descriptions the closer she got to her own ethnicity? Not that I think she’s smart enough to think this through anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/33 "2005-04-30T17:15:33Z")
She needs to spend some time in jail and pay back the taxpayers for the unneeded expenses she caused law enforcement agencies to occure. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/34 "2005-04-30T17:20:46Z")
I can’t help but be reminded of [Dar Heatherington](http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20030514/heatherington_pleabargain_20030514/Canada?s_name=&no_ads=), the Lethbridge, Alberta alderman who concocted an abduction story after _she_ fucked off to Vegas. I hope that Ms. Wilbanks faces charges. I’m gobsmacked that so far all the authorities are saying that they aren’t considering charges. WTF? “Oh, well that’s all right, then.” Fuck that. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/35 "2005-04-30T17:28:22Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > _You know, I have a great idea. Let’s abduct someone in Georgia, drive her to New Mexico, and release her unharmed_. > > Who on earth would believe that story? And yet it happened… Oh, wait… Here’s the crazy thing: I was in Albuquerque this week (this is true) and a young semi-attractive but obviously crazed woman came up to me in Old Town telling me the usual panhandler stuff about “getting abandoned by my ride here…” and asking for money. I pulled a Dion Warwick and walked on by, but I’m obsessing over whether it was her, because it looked like her. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/36 "2005-04-30T17:33:05Z")
Either way I want my fucking toaster oven _BACK_… and it better be in the sealed box. So think the wedding’s gonna happen? When I was watching the news at 3 a.m. and this was breaking (the “She’s alive… in Albuquerque… the kidnappers have hearts of gold!” part), her stepfather said he might perform the wedding on the way back in the plane (he’s either ordained or a JP- I haven’t kept up enough to know which- either way would a minister’s credentials be valid on an interstate flight?). I wonder if it’ll happen now and how long she’s hosting a “Choose a mate” reality show. ---
**Author:** ![Flyhalf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ea5d25/32.png) [@Flyhalf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flyhalf)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/37 "2005-04-30T17:40:36Z")
Why shouldn’t she be charged? Aren’t some hikers, campers, etc. charged when they got lost, trapped in a known dangerous situation, etc. and cause the authorities to come rescue them? ---
**Author:** ![Flyhalf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ea5d25/32.png) [@Flyhalf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flyhalf)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/38 "2005-04-30T17:43:00Z")
When they gEt lost… ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/39 "2005-04-30T17:43:29Z")
> [@Flyhalf](#): > > Aren’t some hikers, campers, etc. charged when they got lost, trapped in a known dangerous situation, etc. and cause the authorities to come rescue them? Charged? For getting lost? Aren’t the rescue people already getting paid to do that? ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/40 "2005-04-30T17:45:55Z")
Georgia has already announced that they have no plans to file charges, so it’s totally up to NM. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852.md?page=3)