# Jennifer Wilbanks, you've got A LOT of apologies to start making **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 30, 2005, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852 "2005-04-30T11:46:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Flyhalf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ea5d25/32.png) [@Flyhalf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flyhalf)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/41 "2005-04-30T17:50:42Z")
It happens man. Sometimes folks get charged (and by charged, I understand it to mean a fine, or the costs involved in the rescue, etc.) due to the danger they place the rescuers in, or because they willingly did something they knew might cause harm to others. It seems to me that this would be a similar situation what with involving the police, volunteers, and others all to no avail. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/42 "2005-04-30T18:15:34Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > There was another one of those a while back. Shortly after Dru Sjodin disappeared, another college student faked her own abduction. That was Audrey Seiler in Madison, Wisconsin. Earlier this month there was [an update](http://wcco.com/localnews/local_story_093211927.html) on how she’s doing: > [@](#): > > Seiler, then 20, disappeared March 27, 2004, after she left her off-campus apartment. She was found four days later, about two miles away, after an extensive search that cost the Madison Police Department about $100,000. > > At first, she told police she had been kidnapped from her room at knifepoint. She later recanted. Police had found a convenience store videotape that showed her buying a knife, rope and duct tape – items she claimed her abductor had used. > > […] > > Every month since last August, Seiler has sent a $250 check to the city of Madison. So far, she has paid about $2,000 of the $9,000 restitution that was ordered as part of a July 1 plea bargain. She pleaded guilty to two misdemeanor counts of obstructing officers. > > In addition, she was sentenced to three years’ probation and must undergo mental health counseling and perform 250 hours of community service. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/43 "2005-04-30T18:19:42Z")
Not charging her is pure horseshit IMO. I don’t want her apologies, I want her to face the same charges, and if convincted, same penalties as anyone else who fakes a crime or makes a false police report. Her mental condition can be taken into account by the jury during the trial, and the judge during sentencing (if such). But not even bothering to charge her is just pointless. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/44 "2005-04-30T18:25:38Z")
In further news, Al Sharpton still insists that she was abducted. ok, not really ---
**Author:** ![Flyhalf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ea5d25/32.png) [@Flyhalf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flyhalf)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/45 "2005-04-30T18:28:02Z")
> [@Una Persson](#): > > Not charging her is pure horseshit IMO. > > I don’t want her apologies, I want her to face the same charges, and if convincted, same penalties as anyone else who fakes a crime or makes a false police report. > > Her mental condition can be taken into account by the jury during the trial, and the judge during sentencing (if such). But not even bothering to charge her is just pointless. And THAT’S where I was going with all of that. It seems that people want to forget that she did something wrong and likely illegal (IANAL) and go with the idea that she got cold feet so she was not thinking. TOUGH SHIT. All of this over a wedding… WTF?! ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/46 "2005-04-30T18:28:27Z")
> [@Flyhalf](#): > > Why shouldn’t she be charged? Aren’t some hikers, campers, etc. charged when they got lost, trapped in a known dangerous situation, etc. and cause the authorities to come rescue them? Campers and hikers are sometimes _fined_ when they do something especially stupid and against the rules which necessitates a rescue, but there aren’t criminal charges. Surely this bint should at least get smacked with false police reports and lying to investigators or something. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/47 "2005-04-30T18:29:21Z")
> [@adam yax](#): > > **She needs to spend some time in jail** and pay back the taxpayers for the unneeded expenses she caused law enforcement agencies to occure. Yeah, that’s a good use of yet more taxpayer’s money. :rolleyes: The woman is obviously unstable (and to succomb to the temptation to be catty, you could tell that from the pop-eyed appearance of every picture). She clearly needs some kind of therapy, but then who has a wedding with 14 bridesmades is clearly far out there to begin with, in my opinion. (And 8 bridal showers? If true…fhew! That’s milking the cow for all it’s worth and then slaughtering it for dinner.) As for reparation, I think a healthy dose of public service duty–say, a few hundred hours picking up trash on the side of the highway, or having to volunteer at a battered women’s shelter where she can see the results of real brutality and abuse–are more apropos. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/48 "2005-04-30T18:53:32Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Here’s the crazy thing: I was in Albuquerque this week (this is true) and a young semi-attractive but obviously crazed woman came up to me in Old Town telling me the usual panhandler stuff about “getting abandoned by my ride here…” and asking for money. I pulled a Dion Warwick and walked on by, but I’m obsessing over whether it was her, because it looked like her. What day were you there? How many scammers do you think there are on an average day in Alb.? Because [it may well have been her.](http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/04/30/wilbanks.found/index.html) > [@](#): > > Schultz told CNN that Wilbanks apparently ran out of money after purchasing a bus ticket to Albuquerque. She spent a few hours wandering around the city before she made the phone calls, he said. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/49 "2005-04-30T19:11:54Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > What day were you there? How many scammers do you think there are on an average day in Alb.? Because [it may well have been her.](http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/04/30/wilbanks.found/index.html) This was Wednesday. I didn’t know anything about the disappearance or whatever as I was there for a conference and wasn’t watching the news, but I remembered her because she was well spoken, well dressed and _very_ agressive (she actually ran up behind me on the street, and when I did my standard “sorry, can’t hep ya” she literally ran to another tourist coming up the block. I can’t swear it was her, but it’s definitely the same general type (and actually that was the only time I was panhandled in Albuquerque- the very few obviously homeless people left me alone and even smiled when I walked by- very friendly city, like the south but without sweet tea and grits). This was in Old Town near the Museums (Atomic, History & Art, Explorium, etc.). ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/50 "2005-04-30T19:18:50Z")
> [@voltaire](#): > > Jennifer Wilbanks, you’ve got A LOT of apologies to start making to family. friends, authorities, volunteers, investigated suspects. **everybody**. To make it worse, you initially concocted a cock-a-mamie kidnap story blaming a Latino male and a his girlfriend. And just like Susan Smith claiming the black guys kidnapped her kids, if you’re going to lie why do you have to drag in another ethnicity just to twist the knife of race relations a little more? If they couldn’t be white imaginary abductors, couldn’t she at least have claimed they were teenaged Arab males- those guys have enough problems with the cops already that they won’t notice the extra attention, while every blue-van driving Mexican or Latino male in New Mexico, Arizona and Texas was now to say a collective “Oh shit!” (or whatever the Spanish equivalent is) and get their ID and alibis ready. I promise to my brothers of other ethnicities that if I ever stage my own abduction, I’m going to swear it was white guys. (Or better yet, I’ll swear it was four old Southern white women- NOBODY ever goes after them and they’d probably like the attention… _“Well hello officer, no I don’t recall having kidnapped a large blonde homosexual but my memory’s not what it used to be, why don’t you let me fix you some coffee and red velvet cake and we’ll talk about it? Martha… there’s a nice FBI man here to see us! Bring those pictures of your new great-grandbaby!”_ ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/51 "2005-04-30T19:21:36Z")
If it really was her, too bad you didn’t have the prescience to slap some sense into the bitch preemptively. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/52 "2005-04-30T19:25:58Z")
What she deserves most is to be quickly forgotten. ---
**Author:** ![ZeroGyro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47774/32.png) [@ZeroGyro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZeroGyro)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/53 "2005-04-30T19:39:36Z")
> [@Bryan Ekers](#): > > What she deserves most is to be quickly forgotten. Well, CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News are sure as hell gonna make sure that doesn’t happen. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/54 "2005-04-30T19:43:36Z")
One of the news stories I read said that the wedding was to be Duluth’s social event of the year, or words to that effect. A wedding with 600 guests, 14 bridesmaids and 14 groomsmen is more of an extravaganza than a wedding. I think the bride-to-be might have been driven over the edge by the prospect of being the star in the soon to be staged extravaganza. I think she might be deserving of a little sympathy, even though she did do a foolish thing. I also wonder how much of the wedding extravaganza was of her choosing and how much control her mother exercised. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/55 "2005-04-30T19:52:02Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > I think the bride-to-be might have been driven over the edge by the prospect of being the star in the soon to be staged extravaganza. I think she might be deserving of a little sympathy, even though she did do a foolish thing. > > I also wonder how much of the wedding extravaganza was of her choosing and how much control her mother exercised. That’s what I’ve been thinking too. How the dickens could she call a halt to this juggernaut of a wedding at the last moment without a Mother Of The Bride meltdown that would leave a mile-wide crater? ---
**Author:** ![Flyhalf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ea5d25/32.png) [@Flyhalf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flyhalf)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/56 "2005-04-30T19:57:46Z")
> [@Flyhalf](#): > > (and by charged, I understand it to mean a fine, or the costs involved in the rescue, etc.) Sorry. I guess this wasn’t clear enough. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/57 "2005-04-30T20:05:18Z")
> [@Stranger On A Train](#): > > The woman is obviously unstable (and to succomb to the temptation to be catty, you could tell that from the pop-eyed appearance of every picture). She clearly needs some kind of therapy, but then who has a wedding with 14 bridesmades is clearly far out there to begin with, in my opinion. (And 8 bridal showers? If true…fhew! That’s milking the cow for all it’s worth and then slaughtering it for dinner.) This is now the second thread in the last week were people are apologizing for women who commit crimes. She is obviously unstable? By what method did you determine that? Buggy eyes in pictures - is there any sort of evidence that says being non-photogenic is a symptom of mental problems? If there is, let me know because that means I get a free pass for a few crimes. And what does the size of the wedding have to do with her mental stability? Are you saying that we should keep our eyes on every little girl who wants a big, fairy tale wedding as it is a potential danger sign? Fine, so she got cold feet. She isn’t the first and won’t be the last. Also, it isn’t a crime to go out of town without telling people. It also isn’t a crime to not know you are the lead story on CNN - it is next to impossible to imagine in this day and age, but I’ll even let that slide. What is not exceptable is for her to tell the police she was kidnapped. And given the cut off hair- that seems to me like pre-meditation and mentally unstable people generally don’t plan ahead like that. If she had just fessed up as soon as she did go to the police I would have been willing to let her off with a fine and some community service. But once she lies to the police -hell she should be charged under the patriot act. Oh, if only we could live in a world where people accepted the consequences of their actions. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/58 "2005-04-30T20:14:10Z")
Why don’t we all just wait for a few more reliable facts to come in before we either throw her in jail/prison, beat her, shun her, hug her, defend her, feel sorry for her, etc? A radical concept, I know. But I’ve found it helpful at times, when I can force myself to overcome my automatic reactions and responses to situations that I’m not fully informed about. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/59 "2005-04-30T20:41:45Z")
I’m satisfied that there were enough facts supplied by Chief Ray Schultz of the Albuquerque PD to get a handle on the situation. He certainly didn’t seem to be gunning for her. “She needed some time alone.” Uh, great. We all handle stress differently, but I think most people are able to work out _some_ way to get some space without faking our own abductions and continuing to lie about it after we’re ready head home. If there’s something we don’t know that explains how she might make such an astonishingly selfish and inconsiderate decision, then it has to be something huge. “My entire extended family beats and humiliates me any time I exercise any self-determination.” Okay, that gets a pass. I’m not holding my breath, though. Most three-year-olds have the technology down: “Use your _words_, sweetie.” ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/60 "2005-04-30T21:11:56Z")
> [@adam yax](#): > > What is not exceptable is for her to tell the police she was kidnapped. And given the cut off hair- that seems to me like pre-meditation and mentally unstable people generally don’t plan ahead like that. Uh-huh. The situation reminds me a bit of Agatha Christie’s [infamous disappearance](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_390.html). Somehow, nobody was railing for her head. And it’s not as if this was a genuinely well-thought out plan; she ends up three days later, destitute and with a ridiculous alibi in New Mexico. Seems like a case of near-panic to me by a woman who clearly didn’t know how to satisfy all of the demands upon her. > [@adam yax](#): > > If she had just fessed up as soon as she did go to the police I would have been willing to let her off with a fine and some community service. But once she lies to the police -hell she should be charged under the patriot act. Oh yeah…that’s what the Patriot Act was conceived for. :rolleyes: That is the biggest bunch of…uh, hyperbole…oh, fuck it, bullshit, I’ve heard in, well, since last Friday’s staff meeting, anyway. So, for disappearing–an act that is in no way a crime–she should pay fines and perform community service? But for making up a pretty inane, off the cuff story (which pegged my YeahRight-o-Meter the minute I heard it) she should be charged as a terrorist? What, should we just ship her off to Guantanamo Bay now? A lot of people here seem quite willing to start sharpening the guillotine blade right now despite the paucity of information. I shudder to think what some would be proposing if she’d actually committed a serious crime like embezzling money or stealing a car. > [@adam yax](#): > > Oh, if only we could live in a world where people accepted the consequences of their actions. Oh, if only we could live in a world in which people didn’t leap to conclusions about a media-hyped non-event that doesn’t affect their lifestyle or pocketbook in any measurable way, other than to let them twist their own panties and rant away at the end of the bar about that “lying cunt” that “needs a good bitch slap”. Get your own tragedy, why don’t you? Movie at 11. Stranger [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852.md?page=4)