# Jennifer Wilbanks, you've got A LOT of apologies to start making **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 30, 2005, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852 "2005-04-30T11:46:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/61 "2005-04-30T21:27:24Z")
I’ve heard reports that a she bought a bus ticket to Austin, TX, _a week_ before her “disappearance.” I’d give her a pass on everything, disappearing, freaking out her family, causing a massive manhunt, if, when she did decide to resurface, she’d called to say, “Sweetie, it’s Jen. Yeah, I’m fine, I’m in New Mexico, I needed some time to think.” But she came out with this kidnapping story first. :dubious: The radio also reports her family has gone to NM to get her, but her fiance did not. I’m guessing the wedding will NOT be rescheduled. Ivylad said if it were him, he’d never lay eyes on her again. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/62 "2005-04-30T21:36:22Z")
**Stranger** , you have shown me the light. I admit my ignorance. I grew up in world where ‘The Boy Who Cried Wolf’ was a cautionary tale. I see now that it was actually suggesting acceptable behaviour. Obviously, the next time a woman is reported missing to the police, they should just sit and wait for a couple of days. The missing woman is most likely just overwhelmed and needs time to her self. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/63 "2005-04-30T21:41:36Z")
> [@adam yax](#): > > **Stranger** , you have shown me the light. I admit my ignorance. I grew up in world where ‘The Boy Who Cried Wolf’ was a cautionary tale. I see now that it was actually suggesting acceptable behaviour. > > Obviously, the next time a woman is reported missing to the police, they should just sit and wait for a couple of days. The missing woman is most likely just overwhelmed and needs time to her self. Your sense of irony is as ill-conceived as your penological recommendations. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Flyhalf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ea5d25/32.png) [@Flyhalf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flyhalf)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/64 "2005-04-30T21:55:16Z")
> [@Stranger On A Train](#): > > Oh, if only we could live in a world in which people didn’t leap to conclusions about a media-hyped non-event that doesn’t affect their lifestyle or pocketbook in any measurable way, other than to let them twist their own panties and rant away at the end of the bar about that “lying cunt” that “needs a good bitch slap”. > Stranger I think it has more to do with the fact that she lied about being kidnapped. Sure, disappearing is not a crime. Getting cold feet re: a wedding is not a crime. But I can imagine (again IANAL) that LYING about being kidnapped is a crime. Also, as far as I am concerned, she caused police resources to be diverted away from more serious crimes such as smoking pot. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/65 "2005-04-30T22:11:49Z")
**Stranger** , a simple question. Do you think that it is okay for anybody to lie to the police? ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/66 "2005-04-30T22:16:43Z")
> [@Flyhalf](#): > > I think it has more to do with the fact that she lied about being kidnapped. Sure, disappearing is not a crime. Getting cold feet re: a wedding is not a crime. But I can imagine (again IANAL) that LYING about being kidnapped is a crime. Sure, and she should suffer a penalty. I can’t see how throwing her in prison, though, is to anyone’s advantage. Certainly not for the taxpayers who will be footing the bill. A public apology and a goodly amount of public service, along with the humilitation she’s no doubt already enduring, seems far more appropriate. Hauling out, say, the Patriot Act is as absurd as quoting RICO on National Spelling Competition cheat scheme. According to the [Georgia Criminal Code](http://www.legis.state.ga.us/cgi-bin/gl_codes_detail.pl?code=16-10-26): > [@Georgia Code](#): > > A person who willfully and knowingly gives or causes a false report of a crime to be given to any law enforcement officer or agency of this state is guilty of a misdemeanor. In most municipalities and states a misdomeanor is punishable by no more than 12 months or $1,000, plus reparations. I get the sense that a lot of people would like to find a nasty French prison to throw her in and leave her rot for a few decades _for a misdomeanor crime_. What, did you people run out of kittens to smash? > [@Flyhalf](#): > > Also, as far as I am concerned, she caused police resources to be diverted away from more serious crimes such as smoking pot. Don’t step on the grass, Sam. 😛 Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Flyhalf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ea5d25/32.png) [@Flyhalf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flyhalf)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/67 "2005-04-30T22:36:03Z")
> [@Stranger On A Train](#): > > Don’t step on the grass, Sam. 😛 > > Stranger Just doing my part to free Mary Jane… ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/68 "2005-04-30T23:02:47Z")
Stupid wart-infested cunt! She should be charged with everything possible. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Punkyova](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@The\_Punkyova](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Punkyova)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/69 "2005-04-30T23:13:04Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > . A wedding with 600 guests, 14 bridesmaids and 14 groomsmen is more of an extravaganza than a wedding. \I also wonder how much of the wedding extravaganza was of her choosing and how much control her mother exercised. Southern weddings are more formal and elaborate than seems to be the norm in other parts of the US. My brother married a young lady from Dothan, AL, and they had (this is more than 10 years ago so I don’t remember exactly) 10 or so attendants each, easily a dozen parties in the three months prior that they were both expected to attend, in addition to showers, teas, etc. for the bride alone, and at least 500 guests. My midwestern family thought it was overdone, but no one else did. (In fact, I heard one guest telling another that she thought the reason they hadn’t gone all out was because it was Advent, and they were being respectful of church traditions.) I have no idea how involved she was in the planning, or if her mom was pushing her, or what, but this wedding doesn’t sound unusual in the context of southern weddings. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/70 "2005-04-30T23:18:29Z")
> [@adam yax](#): > > **Stranger** , a simple question. Do you think that it is okay for anybody to lie to the police? No, and I never indicated this to be the case. What’s your next strawman? Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/71 "2005-04-30T23:18:40Z")
I’m willing to let the dust settle before I take away her right to have Rosepoint sterling place settings. But I think the police ought to wait before they decide “no charges” too. Didn’t this involve the GBI and the FBI? It may not be up to local authorities where the fiance’s father was once the mayor. > [@](#): > > **Sampiro** : I’ll swear it was four old Southern white women- NOBODY ever goes after them and they’d probably like the attention… Just one more reason I adore you, Sugar. You know how we love our little adventures. > [@](#): > > **Louis B** : I also wonder how much of the wedding extravaganza was of her choosing and how much control her mother exercised. > [@](#): > > **EddyTeddyFreddy** : That’s what I’ve been thinking too. How the dickens could she call a halt to this juggernaut of a wedding at the last moment without a Mother Of The Bride meltdown that would leave a mile-wide crater? Now come to your senses. I’ll bet **Sampiro** knows that Mother of the Bride meltdowns and mile-wide craters are part of the tradition in some families. That’s how we know the bride is _really_ fit to start a Southern home of her own. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/72 "2005-04-30T23:21:31Z")
> [@Flyhalf](#): > > Just doing my part to free Mary Jane… You can have a last dance… Stranger ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/73 "2005-04-30T23:23:05Z")
Oy vey. ---
**Author:** ![Flyhalf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ea5d25/32.png) [@Flyhalf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flyhalf)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/74 "2005-04-30T23:24:18Z")
> [@Stranger On A Train](#): > > You can have a last dance… > > Stranger Stranger, you’re scaring me. I’m listening to that right now AND freeing Mary Jane. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/75 "2005-04-30T23:27:41Z")
It seems, from the quotes from the parents and family, that **this wedding is just delayed**. Clearly, they are focusing on the wedding and not her. Heavan forbid the wedding is called off entirely…won’t somebody think of the deposits!!! She’s been swallowed up by the Machinations of the Wedding and somewhere along the way, she became unglued. In her mind, I bet faking her kidnapping was the only way out. If her family is that wealthy, and she does not get charged in NM, I am willing to guess Daddy greased a few hands. Cause that’s the kinda gal I am. Either way, I’ll wait for the Law & Order case on it. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2005, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/76 "2005-05-01T00:11:48Z")
> [@Stranger On A Train](#): > > No, and I never indicated this to be the case. > Stranger If you can point to where I said it was the case please do. Until then I want to be sure that I have your position clear. You are saying that it is not okay to lie to the police. Is that right? And you are also saying that lying to the police, while wrong, should not be punished? ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2005, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/77 "2005-05-01T00:14:32Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > **ccwaterback** , is that her claim, that she saw no media coverage? According to the news this morning, she claimed she had NOT seen any media coverage about her missing. But I haven’t seen the latest news, and we all know how the news media can toss in a couple adjectives like “purported” or “allegedly” and then make up any fairytale they desire. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2005, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/78 "2005-05-01T00:20:17Z")
> [@adam yax](#): > > And you are also saying that lying to the police, while wrong, should not be punished? That’s right, keep dumping more fuel on that scarecrow. Sooner or later it’ll catch fire. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2005, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/79 "2005-05-01T00:26:38Z")
As far as I can tell, the only thing she’s done that’s illegal was to say (in Albuquerque) that she was kidnapped. It is not a crime to take off and disappear, no matter how many people look for you or worry about you. ---
**Author:** ![jimpatro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b9e5f3/32.png) [@jimpatro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimpatro)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2005, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/80 "2005-05-01T00:52:56Z")
**Fear Itself** > [@](#): > > I was thinking runaway bride soon after seeing all those deer-in-the-headlights pictures of her. Every picture has the exact same pop-eyed expression, the girl clearly has issues. Just caught her pics on the news, and that’s just what I was thinking when I opened up this thread. Avoid people who smile wide eyed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852.md?page=5)