# Jennifer Wilbanks, you've got A LOT of apologies to start making **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 30, 2005, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852 "2005-04-30T11:46:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2005, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/121 "2005-05-01T23:06:12Z")
Shout out to **Bobkitty** and **Marlitharn** for being on the same wavelength as me back on page one. (damn some threads go fast…) Seriously, she should be charged, because leaving without your keys and your wallet and a hidden bus ticket screams “I’m planning an abduction”, while it only takes a note to say "I need some time to think " ---
**Author:** ![Cyros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@Cyros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyros)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2005, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/122 "2005-05-01T23:11:44Z")
Seems it may be too early to say she won’t be prosecuted: [Link](http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=2149&ncid=1856&e=4&u=/cpress/20050501/ca_pr_on_wo/missing_bride) The highlights: > [@](#): > > **Prosecutor considers charges against Georgia runaway bride who faked abduction** > On Sunday, Gwinnett County District Attorney Danny Porter vowed to look into whether she violated the law by reporting a crime that didn’t exist. > > Porter said Wilbanks could face a misdemeanour charge of false report of a crime or a felony charge of false statements. The misdemeanour carries a penalty of up to a year in jail; five years in prison is the maximum sentence for the felony. > > “If there’s criminal responsibility, that’s something I have to do something about,” Porter said. > > Porter said Wilbanks could be charged for reporting her kidnapping story over the phone to Duluth police Chief Randy Belcher. ---
**Author:** ![ur8it](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecd19e/32.png) [@ur8it](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ur8it)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/123 "2005-05-02T00:18:39Z")
if charges aren’t brought against her, thank goodness she’s already been TRIED & CONVICTED BY a Jury of her Peers (primarily those in her community)… you reap what ya sow! ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/124 "2005-05-02T00:33:08Z")
I would hope that this woman gets what’s coming to her. If she’s mentally unstable, and this little jaunt is the result of that, then I hope she gets help. If she’s just a self-centered drama queen, then I hope she at least does some community service, along with being required to make formal apologies to everyone who scrambled to look for her, from her family to her neighbors to the police to the 911 dispatcher who took the call. Maybe she’ll start to dimly see that her actions DO effect other people. Me, I’m still trying to wrap my brain around the idea of throwing a formal wedding for 600 people. I could buy a house for that kind of money. And I’m still waiting to hear what happened with **Sampiro** ’s Mom and the rabbit. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/125 "2005-05-02T03:28:23Z")
> [@Marlitharn](#): > > And I’m still waiting to hear what happened with **Sampiro** ’s Mom and the rabbit. Well, it wasn’t literal… “Throw in a rabbit” is just what my siblings and I say when we’re trying to warn each other that “Mama’s in a mood”. (We also use “EF1” to “EF4”, which stands for “Eunice Factor”, or “How long you can be around her before turning into Carol Burnett’s Eunice [clenched jaw: \*don’t you move from there Old Wo-man!”]- an EF1 means “safe- she’s fine and pleasant today” and “EF4” means “enter the presence and in seconds you’ll be channeling Eunice”.) ---
**Author:** ![margin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/65b543/32.png) [@margin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/margin)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/126 "2005-05-02T03:29:33Z")
I’m still waiting to hear what’s happening in the rest of the fuckin’ world which CNN made this their lead story for three damned hours and evidently a whole bunch of fools didn’t give a shit about—oh, I don’t know—everything else going on in the world? CNN didn’t cover anything but this for three or four hours yesterday at first, giving the impression that there was nothing more important. Christ on a crutch already. It’s too early to know what the facts are. I was struck by her minister saying that the truly important thing was how her fiancee was----beats me why, but it wasn’t about how she was, but how he was. Dude, if you love her enough to marry her, how come you don’t lover her enough to know she’s so close to freaking out? I can’t imagine loving somebody enough to marry them and then having that kind of barrier with them. As a matter of fact, I thought love was all about wanting to get rid of those barriers. ---
**Author:** ![Grits\_and\_Hard\_Toast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Grits\_and\_Hard\_Toast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grits_and_Hard_Toast)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/127 "2005-05-02T04:03:59Z")
> [@spooje](#): > > No one can fault her that much for running out. That happens all the time. Anyone who’s been engaged knows the fear that comes with that. And those of us who have actually been married at least \*thought once \* about doing it. Is it just me, or does anyone else think that is not the case? When I was engaged I never thought about running out. I felt no fear of getting married. And even after 11 years of marriage, I still have never thought of leaving, or even running away for a bit. Just curious, is mine the exception? Do most people really get scared and think of running away? Have most people who are married at least thought once about running out? ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/128 "2005-05-02T05:26:35Z")
What struck me was, when I read her description etc. on the news… (pls excuse me if I don’t get these numbers exactly right, but what I read was close to this)… "five foot eight, weighing 126 lbs "… 'scuse me, but a five foot eight woman 32 yrs of age should weigh 150 lbs. At least. Even a marathon runner. The girl is _driven_. Something is awry with her. I’m another who thought of a manic episode. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/129 "2005-05-02T05:45:32Z")
> [@Grits and Hard Toast](#): > > Is it just me, or does anyone else think that is not the case? When I was engaged I never thought about running out. I felt no fear of getting married. And even after 11 years of marriage, I still have never thought of leaving, or even running away for a bit. I’m not talking about after the wedding. I’m talking about the jitters before. If your betrothed had admitted (after the ceremony) to you that they entertained the idea of bolting _for a second_, would you have understood? Or would you have taken this to mean s/he didn’t _really_ love you? ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/130 "2005-05-02T06:04:16Z")
[I wonder that, too.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=314689) ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/131 "2005-05-02T10:20:18Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > Uh, is this a whoosh? I honestly can’t tell. What Ugly said. If we charge her (criminally or financially), we risk making people unwilling to cooperate and turn themselves in next time. “Look, did you really get kidnapped by albino Albanians? If you made it up, we can get you back to your family …” If a person suspects they will be charged they will keep with their nutty story. It is more important to clear up this case, to get to the truth, than to punish the mixed-up person who did it. ---
**Author:** ![HelenTroy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helentroy/32/86_2.png) [@HelenTroy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HelenTroy)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/132 "2005-05-02T12:02:14Z")
> [@Paul in Saudi](#): > > What Ugly said. If we charge her (criminally or financially), we risk making people unwilling to cooperate and turn themselves in next time. > > “Look, did you really get kidnapped by albino Albanians? If you made it up, we can get you back to your family …” If a person suspects they will be charged they will keep with their nutty story. > > It is more important to clear up this case, to get to the truth, than to punish the mixed-up person who did it. And what about the next woman who is actually abducted? Is it going to take a lot more convincing before the police believe she isn’t another flake job? The actual kidnap victims have a great deal more sympathy from me than those who fake it for whatever reason. ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/133 "2005-05-02T12:55:46Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > What struck me was, when I read her description etc. on the news… (pls excuse me if I don’t get these numbers exactly right, but what I read was close to this)… "five foot eight, weighing 126 lbs "… > > 'scuse me, but a five foot eight woman 32 yrs of age should weigh 150 lbs. At least. Even a marathon runner. The girl is _driven_. Something is awry with her. I’m another who thought of a manic episode. FWIW, I’m a 27 year old guy and stand about 5’8" or 5’9" at about 125 lbs. I suffer from depression, but I’d hardly say anything is _really_ awry with me. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/134 "2005-05-02T14:02:33Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > What struck me was, when I read her description etc. on the news… (pls excuse me if I don’t get these numbers exactly right, but what I read was close to this)… "five foot eight, weighing 126 lbs "… > > 'scuse me, but a five foot eight woman 32 yrs of age should weigh 150 lbs. At least. Even a marathon runner. The girl is _driven_. Something is awry with her. I’m another who thought of a manic episode. Yeah, forget the lying. Throw her ass in jail for not consuming her body weight in jelly filled krispy kreams on a daily basis! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/135 "2005-05-02T14:05:16Z")
I’m surprised nobody has speculated yet. I will. Cuz I’m just a cynical bastard that way… 😃 There is somebody else involved here. An internet boyfriend or something. That’s my guess. No cite, so don’t ask. But wait for it… waaaait for iiiitttt… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/136 "2005-05-02T14:08:19Z")
Pardon me while I assume my Sherlock Holmes/Hercule Poirot persona. Sherlock Holmes: I notice in the photos of her taken in the Albuquerque airport that she does not have an engagement ring on her left hand. Hercule Poirot: A Southern woman, mere days away from a wedding featuring almost 30 attendants and 600 guests, would not be caught dead without her engagement ring. Conclusion: It’s not just the wedding extravaganza over which she’s got cold feet; she’s rethinking the whole marriage. Count me in the “there ain’t gonna be a wedding” camp. I think both parties are going to reexamine that little social event now. I’m also thinking one of them (likely the girl) will be moving out of the house they currently share. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/137 "2005-05-02T14:33:40Z")
> [@Paul in Saudi](#): > > What Ugly said. If we charge her (criminally or financially), we risk making people unwilling to cooperate and turn themselves in next time. > > “Look, did you really get kidnapped by albino Albanians? If you made it up, we can get you back to your family …” I’m at a loss as to why you feel that the “next time” a kidnapping is faked is an inevitability, or how turning a blind eye will help maintain clarity. Maybe I’m wacky, but I think that knowingly making false statements to the police ought to be discouraged – especially if they are the kind of statements that, if accepted, would lead to wasted man-hours for authorities and grief for other citizens. > [@Paul in Saudi](#): > > If a person suspects they will be charged they will keep with their nutty story. How 'bout this? “If a person suspects they will be charged, they won’t advance a nutty story.” ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/138 "2005-05-02T14:38:24Z")
I’m still waiting for someone, anyone, to provide a link to show that buggy eyed pictures = mental issues or any issues. At least 3 people in this thread have mentioned it. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/139 "2005-05-02T14:44:13Z")
> [@Sauron](#): > > Pardon me while I assume my Sherlock Holmes/Hercule Poirot persona. > > Sherlock Holmes: I notice in the photos of her taken in the Albuquerque airport that she does not have an engagement ring on her left hand. > > Hercule Poirot: A Southern woman, mere days away from a wedding featuring almost 30 attendants and 600 guests, would not be caught dead without her engagement ring. > > Conclusion: It’s not just the wedding extravaganza over which she’s got cold feet; she’s rethinking the whole marriage. Count me in the “there ain’t gonna be a wedding” camp. I think both parties are going to reexamine that little social event now. I’m also thinking one of them (likely the girl) will be moving out of the house they currently share. Well, didn’t she say she was going out for a jog just before she did her disappearing act? I know quite a few people, men and women, who take of their jewellery before running because they don’t like the feel of sweat between the metal and their skin. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852/140 "2005-05-02T14:47:37Z")
Here’s my two cents. I think she has alot invested in the “good girl” archetype–hence the kidnapping story. _She_ didn’t do it–it was someone else’s fault–they are to blame etc. I wonder a couple things: 1. her thyroid–or is the Marty Feldman impression supposed to demonstrate that she is an _ingenue_ (sp?). 2. Manic episode–could be related to thryoid. I had a manic pt in nursing school, pysch rotation, who loaded up his father’s car with potatoes and books, and was found wandering in the Rocky Mountains (he lived in the Midwest). To me, though, the haircutting and the bus ticket argue against that–to premeditated. But I am not a psychiatrist/mental health nurse. 3. It does sound to me like the Wedding became all. But where was hubby to be here? Or did he think that all he had to do was show up on time that day? And why wasn’t she talking to him? And I am sure she is out of her parent’s will, now! If this had been me-my mother would never have forgiven the trouble I put people to or the public humiliation/embarassment. She is shit on a shingle at home, IMO (never in public). 4. IMO, I see eating disorder. Just a gut instinct (no pun intended)–that meshes with the mental health issues and could also go with the thyroid. 5. I give it two weeks and she’s on Larry King Live. :rolleyes: In any event–she is too immature to get married. Talk about arrested developement! I would expect this from a 22 y/o, not a 32 y/o. I hope that she is fined for something, but I also hope that she gets the help she needs. I truly hope that the Wedding is called off. Jail is no answer–and costs us more money. And I totally Pit the media for concentrating on this instead of oh-Iraq, the economy, Congress… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jennifer-wilbanks-youve-got-a-lot-of-apologies-to-start-making/301852.md?page=8)