# Jerking off for $500 a pop! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 1, 2003, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039 "2003-01-01T14:35:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/21 "2003-01-02T04:33:32Z")
Errr, **Early Out** : It now appears that _you_ were whooshed by “_Come_ again?” 😃 Is this another form of Gaudere’s Law at work? ---
**Author:** ![Early\_Out](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Early\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Early_Out)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/22 "2003-01-02T04:42:25Z")
Ah, right you are, **John Carter of Mars**! I was lured into it by the preceding post by **Osip** , which was of a different character. Sneaky bastards!! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Ace309](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ace309/32/1050_2.png) [@Ace309](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ace309)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/23 "2003-01-02T05:27:14Z")
You’re not very on the balls tonight. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/24 "2003-01-02T05:31:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Early Out \* > \*\*Oh, come on! The angry parent in the front seat, with a back seat full of unruly kids - does this ring a bell? > > Who let all these stone-cold, humorless literalists into MPSIMS? \*\* You just _had_ to shoot your mouth off, didn’tcha? ---
**Author:** ![Achernar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@Achernar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achernar)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/25 "2003-01-02T06:06:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > Apparently, the kid(s) could have looked me up or even asked me for child support, Wait. You’re kidding about the child support part, right? ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/26 "2003-01-02T06:24:10Z")
I really, really, really hate it when a thread devolves into a bunch of puns. Bleah. Anyway, the sperm donation thing sounds kinda cool… I may make my husband go do this LOL ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/27 "2003-01-02T06:26:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OpalCat \* > \*\*I really, really, really hate it when a thread devolves into a bunch of puns. Bleah. > > Anyway, the sperm donation thing sounds kinda cool… I may make my husband go do this LOL \*\* Well, you sure blew your wad, didn’tcha? ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/28 "2003-01-02T07:06:28Z")
Nah, we’re going balls to the wall on this one… ---
**Author:** ![BioHazard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3bc359/32.png) [@BioHazard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BioHazard)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/29 "2003-01-02T07:24:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OpalCat \* > \*\*I really, really, really hate it when a thread devolves into a bunch of puns. Bleah. > > Anyway, the sperm donation thing sounds kinda cool… I may make my husband go do this LOL \*\* I really hope you would HELP him with this transaction err deposit err whatever. Oh and “Hi Opal!” (I’m still trying to figure out what that means…) ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/30 "2003-01-02T18:00:35Z")
> [@](#): > > Wait. You’re kidding about the child support part, right? Possibly (read almost certainly) inaccurately remembering, but not kidding. There really was ome ridiculous non-privacy rule that made me decide not to donate sperm. ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/31 "2003-01-02T18:17:59Z")
I did this in college, and we got $75.00 per pop, and you could give once every 3 days. Lots of things you shouldn’t do if you’re going to give though, including getting some booty, taking hot showers, etc. Still, I averaged $150.00 a week for spanking the monkey, which isn’t bad, considering I’d been doing it for free all those years. ---
**Author:** ![Marine\_One](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marine_one/32/3461_2.png) [@Marine\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marine_One)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/32 "2003-01-02T18:21:39Z")
Come on everyone, don’t be hard on **Early Out**. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/33 "2003-01-02T18:35:37Z")
The federal government has not passed a law regarding the confidentiality of sperm donor records. If it were to do so, sperm donations would slow to a trickle (sorry, I couldn’t help myself). California has made it optional for donors to let their information be released, but it is still only optional. I donated in graduate school and the going rate was $30 per sample, every three days, with a limit of 10 donations. ---
**Author:** ![CastleAnthrax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecd19e/32.png) [@CastleAnthrax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CastleAnthrax)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/34 "2003-01-02T18:38:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bouv \* > \*\*Sure, $100 or $500 a pop is nice, but think about how lucky women are. One measly egg, an egg that they will proably let go to waste that month, can rake in thousands of dollars! Christ! Some days I wish I had a set of ovaries. \*\* Worth more? Yes! That’s because they are not nearly so much fun to get out as sperm. You go through an incredible amount of bloodwork first. Then you have daily fertility shots. Then you have to re-test your blood to make sure the shots are keeping your chemistry at the right levels. This goes on for a couple motnhs, THEN they insert a big-ass needle and suck the eggs out of you. I looked into this myself, but OW. ---
**Author:** ![Vanyel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@Vanyel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vanyel)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/35 "2003-01-02T19:29:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BioHazard \* > \*\*Oh and “Hi Opal!” (I’m still trying to figure out what that means…) \*\* From [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=151254) thread: > [@](#): > > Hi Opal!- You will almost never see this in any recent post. It began long ago when a prominent poster named OpalCat pointed out that only two items does not make a list, and a proper list must have at least three items. People began putting the phrase “Hi Opal!” as the third item on their list. Soon, a backlash began- people grew tired of the joke. It’s almost never used now. For the love of all that you hold sacred, never do this. The ensuing shitstorm will be swift and inescapable, and rightly so. ---
**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/36 "2003-01-02T19:36:21Z")
Oral sex: Money where you’re mouth is? ---
**Author:** ![Pablito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ed655f/32.png) [@Pablito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pablito)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/37 "2003-01-02T23:14:05Z")
I donated for a while in college, but we only received $25. each time. Now I feel like I was getting screwed (so to speak), considering the rates that are being discussed here. As I recall, you had to agree to total abstinence for at least 3 days prior to making the donation. Also, there was a critical “freeze test”, which many people (rather, their sperm) do not pass. And I don’t think most clinics will even consider a donor who has reached his mid-30’s. Still, if you’re young enough, if they’re mobile enough, and you haven’t got something better to be doing with your semen (like worrying about whether it’s going to germinate inside your girlfriend), then, why not? It’s better than jerking off. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/38 "2003-01-03T01:54:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Vanyel \* > \*\*From [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=151254) thread: \*\* (regarding the post in that thread) …ehh… sort of. I guess in an ultra boiled down way it could be explained like that. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/39 "2003-01-03T02:13:26Z")
I’m pretty sure you couldn’t do this for a living folks. I dated a former doner and as other posters have said, a fella can only do it once every 3 days or so, less if he’s having sex. (We used to joke that I was costing him $$). Also, he only did it for about 10 months and then he was cut off because he had _ **8** _ pregnancies. I guess that’s the limit. They didn’t want too great a chance of half brothers and sisters meeting 20 years down the road, starting a romantic relationship and winding up with all sorts of things they handn’t banked on. At least, that was one of the reasons they mentioned to my guy. It seems these lucrative, get rich schemes always go soft in the end… ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/40 "2003-01-03T02:48:30Z")
> [@](#): > > It’s better than jerking off. Hello?!?!? Unless I’m missing something important here, it **is** jerking off. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039.md?page=3)