# Jerking off for $500 a pop! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 1, 2003, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039 "2003-01-01T14:35:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Early\_Out](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Early\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Early_Out)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/41 "2003-01-03T17:27:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Marine\_One \* > \*\*Come on everyone, don’t be hard on **Early Out**. \*\* All right, that’s it! You’re all grounded! No SDMB for a week!! ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/42 "2003-01-03T17:53:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Early Out \* > I was lured into it by the preceding post by **Osip** , which was of a different character. You mean Osip whooshed you too? “… jerking your chain. … tease and taunt you till you are spitting … but (sic) of the joke … prick all twisted …” ---
**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/43 "2003-01-03T18:05:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by alice\_in\_wonderland \* > It seems these lucrative, get rich schemes _always go soft in the end…_ (Italics mine) ::snicker:: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![KimKatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@KimKatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KimKatt)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/44 "2003-01-03T20:00:28Z")
Oh come on people. If you can’t swallow the humour, just spit it out and move on. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/45 "2003-01-03T20:17:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by HennaDancer \* > \*\*Worth more? Yes! That’s because they are not nearly so much fun to get out as sperm. You go through an incredible amount of bloodwork first. Then you have daily fertility shots. Then you have to re-test your blood to make sure the shots are keeping your chemistry at the right levels. This goes on for a couple motnhs, THEN they insert a big-ass needle and suck the eggs out of you. > I looked into this myself, but OW. \*\* I have a close friend who did this. I guess they don’t screen all that carefully for women, because she has a history of bipolarism, and all the hormone shots really drove her close to the edge. She described it as having PMS for three months. But she made THOUSANDS of dollars. Like something upwards of five grand. I’ve considered it, being able to pay off all my credit card bills and tuition bills WOULD be nice. But I get pretty friggen nutty when I’m hormonal, highly depressed or increadibly anxious, so I’m not sure I could deal with the hormones. Yet another reason boys are lucky. As my best (male) friend said when my sister was complaining about wanting to have a baby: “Eh. She can have some of my swimmers. I’m just wasting them everyday, anyway. Well _almost_ everyday.” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/46 "2003-01-03T21:20:13Z")
Well, you know what they say, a dick in hand beats two in the bush. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Demise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/34f0e0/32.png) [@Demise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demise)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/47 "2003-01-03T21:26:43Z")
I don’t think that’s accurate…or comfortable. ---
**Author:** ![jujuju](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@jujuju](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jujuju)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2003, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/48 "2003-01-04T02:49:31Z")
$500 a pop, hmm? i always have had expensive tastes 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2003, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/49 "2003-01-04T04:27:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by plnnr \* > \*\*The federal government has not passed a law regarding the confidentiality of sperm donor records. If it were to do so, sperm donations would slow to a trickle (sorry, I couldn’t help myself). California has made it optional for donors to let their information be released, but it is still only optional. > > I donated in graduate school and the going rate was $30 per sample, every three days, with a limit of 10 donations. \*\* Yes, but Matt lives in Canada, which does have a few different laws than we do. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2003, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/50 "2003-01-04T04:48:43Z")
This is starting to sound suspiciously like a case of the right hand not knowing what the left hand is doing… ---
**Author:** ![Pablito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ed655f/32.png) [@Pablito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pablito)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2003, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/51 "2003-01-04T05:03:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by norinew \* > \*\*Hello?!?!? Unless I’m missing something important here, it **is** jerking off. \*\* Whoosh. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2003, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/52 "2003-01-04T06:03:23Z")
Just $500 a pop for masturbating? Thank God! Thank God! Now I can finally afford to do it! ---
**Author:** ![Early\_Out](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Early\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Early_Out)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2003, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/53 "2003-01-04T07:00:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arnold Winkelried \* > \*\*You mean Osip whooshed you too? > “… jerking your chain. … tease and taunt you till you are spitting … but (sic) of the joke … prick all twisted …” \*\* I’m not sure **Osip** was, in fact, whooshing, based on the other parts of his post: > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Osip_ > **Lets face it, you are not a mod or admin God here. If your saying that to paint a target on yourself to provoke MORE double-entdres Kudos to you, dopers love to have fun expecially when they have someone willing to be the but of the joke.** If that’s part of the “whoosh,” I’m afraid I don’t get it! Unless “but [sic] of the joke” is a reference to some backdoor action. 😉 Philosophical question: can a “whoosh” be unintentional? ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2003, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/54 "2003-01-04T07:15:34Z")
**Early Out** and **OpalCat** , how about onan up to a desire for more puns. Get off your high horse, no need to get all jacked about it. I mean, it was really seemin’ like you had your fill - keep that up and things will get a little hairy, and I can’t see the point of that. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2003, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039/55 "2003-01-04T07:23:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \* > \*\*Well, you know what they say, a dick in hand beats two in the bush. > > 😃 \*\* :eek: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off-for-500-a-pop/146039.md?page=2)