# Jerking Off **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [May 29, 2001, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off/66852 "2001-05-29T05:00:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2001, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off/66852/1 "2001-05-29T05:00:29Z")
I was jerking off the other day, and it occured to me, why do we call it jerking off? Does anyone know where this quaint phrase came from? If I actually jerked it off, I would freak. It’s supposed to stay attached. ---
**Author:** ![Abe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f1d935/32.png) [@Abe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abe)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2001, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off/66852/2 "2001-05-29T06:54:35Z")
Presumably because you are making a jerking motion to please yourself, and you bring yourself off! Simply saying “I need to jerk” might be a little unclear, but no one will have any doubts if you say “I need to jerk off”. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Reuben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/54ee81/32.png) [@Reuben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reuben)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2001, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off/66852/3 "2001-05-29T09:55:20Z")
Jerking off is quite descriptive and makes sense… but as we all know there’s many other more cryptic expressions for the same act : 1. Bashing the bishop. 2. Spanking the monkey. 3. Choking the opal, er, chicken. 4. Wanking. 5. Feeding the fish. I have no idea about any of them, least of all the fish one. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2001, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off/66852/4 "2001-05-29T12:37:22Z")
That brings up the question of why the combining word _off_ is used in expressions of sexual release. “get off” “beaf off” “suck off” “rub off” etc. As in _Sex, Lies, and Videotape_: —You listen to women telling these stories and you . . . _get off_?! —Yes. What is it about the word _off_? ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2001, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off/66852/5 "2001-05-29T13:52:47Z")
I wonder if it could be connected to the phrase _touch off_, which originally meant to ignite an explosion. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2001, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off/66852/6 "2001-05-29T14:18:02Z")
Y’all have unabridged dictionaries, right? 🙂 Mine (well, the one I have handy at the moment, _Random House_, 2nd ed.) defines **off** 19 different ways before getting into combinations. Number 15 is “to fulfillment, or into execution or effect,” which seems the most relevant to this discussion. jerk = the motion of the action + off = to fulfillment ---
**Author:** ![rebelyell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e9bcb4/32.png) [@rebelyell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rebelyell)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2001, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off/66852/7 "2001-05-29T19:47:53Z")
Jerking off" as you call it remains the number one public health menace that faces this country. For more info, visit this site: [http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/Senate/2680/](http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/Senate/2680/) Here are some other euphemisms for this vile, disgusting and nasty habit. [list removed --Chronos] [Edited by Chronos on 05-30-2001 at 12:49 PM] ---
**Author:** ![rebelyell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e9bcb4/32.png) [@rebelyell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rebelyell)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2001, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off/66852/8 "2001-05-29T20:23:16Z")
I just found out that women participate in this vile disgusting habit as well as men and furthermore, they have been doing it long enough to invent an entire vocabulary to describe their activities. Here for your educational purposes are some of the many terms women use to describe their activities when they are “typing one handed” [list deleted] [Edited by Chronos on 05-30-2001 at 12:50 PM] ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2001, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off/66852/9 "2001-05-29T21:16:43Z")
[Moderator watch ON] **rebelyell** , did you put that list together yourself? If not, then I’d be very interested in where you got it: That’s probably a copyright violation, there. If you got it from a web page somewhere, as seems likely, then you should just include a link to the webpage, rather than posting the entire list here. ---
**Author:** ![QuanSu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c37758/32.png) [@QuanSu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuanSu)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2001, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off/66852/10 "2001-05-29T22:18:42Z")
**shame shame** I took a sex class in college back in 94, and had a in-class discussion about slang terms for “the act.” For an 1/2 hr, I could only came up with 8! Where were you when I needed you??? Dang you! Dang you all to Heck! 😃 :::run away howling like an ape::: Got an A, though, and someone to “practice” with for 2 semesters. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![CheapBastid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8baadc/32.png) [@CheapBastid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheapBastid)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2001, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off/66852/11 "2001-05-30T00:25:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rebelyell \* > **I just found out that women participate in this vile disgusting habit as well as men and furthermore, they have been doing it long enough to invent an entire vocabulary to describe their activities…** I always liked: Dialing “O” on the Little Pink Telephone ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2001, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off/66852/12 "2001-05-30T00:34:07Z")
Any true fan of Mark Twain should be aware that he wrote a short speech about this and, as far as I’m concerned, it’s one of his best works. It _is_ in the public domain and, since it’s only 9 paragraphs long, I’m reproducing it here, sans the intro that may not be PD. The background for this is that there was a club (The Stomach Club) where American artists and writers got together and, after eating, would deliver humorous speeches to each other. Twain, when invited gave this as a speech. This work was thought lost, but was discovered amongst his papers and first published as a pamphlet (only 50 copies too!) years later. Some Thoughts on the Science of Onanism by Mark Twain ``` My gifted predecessor has warned you against the "social evil--adultery." In his able paper he exhausted that subject; he left absolutely nothing more to be said on it. But I will continue his good work in the cause of morality by cautioning you against that species of recreation called self-abuse to which I perceive you are much addicted. All great writers on health and ``` morals, both ancient and modern, have struggled with this stately subject; this shows its dignity and importance. Some of these writers have taken one side, some the other. ``` Homer, in the second book of the Iliad says with fine enthusiasm, "Give me masturbation or give me death." Caesar, in his Commentaries, says, "To the lonely it is company; to the forsaken it is a friend; to the aged and to the impotent it is a benefactor. They that are penniless are yet rich, in that they still have this majestic diversion." In another place this experienced observer has said, "There are times when I prefer it to sodomy." Robinson Crusoe says, "I cannot describe what I owe to this gentle art." Queen Elizabeth said, "It is the bulwark of virginity." Cetewayo, the Zulu hero, remarked, "A jerk in the hand is worth two in the bush." The immortal Franklin has said, "Masturbation is the best policy." Michelangelo and all of the other old masters--"old masters," I will remark, is an abbreviation, a contraction--have used similar language. Michelangelo said to Pope Julius II, "Self-negation is noble, self-culture beneficent, self-possession is manly, but to the truly great and inspiring soul they are poor and tame compared with self-abuse." Mr. Brown, here, in one of his latest and most graceful poems, refers to it in an eloquent line which is destined to live to the end of time--"None knows it but to love it; none name it but to praise." Such are the utterances of the most illustrious of the masters of this renowned science, and apologists for it. The name of those who decry it and oppose it is legion; they have made strong arguments and uttered bitter speeches against it--but there is not room to repeat them here in much detail. Brigham Young, an expert of incontestable authority, said, "As compared with the ``` other thing, it is the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning." Solomon said, “There is nothing to recommend it but its cheapness.” Galen said, “It is shameful to degrade to such bestial uses that grand limb, that formidable member, which we votaries of Science dub the Major Maxillary–when they dub it at all–which is seldom, It would be better to amputate the os frontis than to put it to such use.” ``` The great statistician Smith, in his report to Parliament, says, "In my opinion, more children have been wasted in this way than any other." It cannot be denied that the high antiquity of this art entitles it to our respect; but at the same time, I think its harmfulness demands our condemnation. Mr. Darwin was grieved to feel obliged to give up his theory that the monkey was the connecting link between man and the lower animals. I think he was too hasty. The monkey is the only animal, except man, that practices this science; hence, he is our brother; there is a bond of sympathy and relationship between us. Give this ingenuous animal an audience of the proper kind and he will straightway put aside his other affairs and take a whet; and you will see by his contortions and his ecstatic expression that he takes an intelligent and human interest in his performance. The signs of excessive indulgence in this destructive pastime are easily detectable. They are these: a disposition to eat, to drink, to smoke, to meet together convivially, to laugh, to joke and tell indelicate stories--and mainly, a yearning to paint pictures. The results of the habit are: loss of memory, loss of virility, loss of cheerfulness and loss of progeny. Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement, it is too fleeting; as an occupation, it is too wearing; as a public exhibition, there is no money in it. It is unsuited to the drawing room, and in the most cultured society it has long been banished from the social board. It has at last, in our day of progress and improvement, been degraded to brotherhood with flatulence. Among the best bred, these two arts are now indulged in only private--though by consent of the whole company, when only males are present, it is still permissible, in good society, to remove the embargo on the fundamental sigh. My illustrious predecessor has taught you that all forms of the "social evil" are bad. I would teach you that some of these forms are more to be avoided than others. So, in concluding, I say, "If you must gamble your lives sexually, don't play a lone hand too much." When you feel a revolutionary uprising in your system, get your Vendome Column down some other way--don't jerk it down. ``` ---
**Author:** ![CheapBastid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8baadc/32.png) [@CheapBastid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheapBastid)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2001, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off/66852/13 "2001-05-30T00:35:27Z")
…_Spreading the Petals_, not to mention _Prime the Honey Maker_. _Lather Old Mossyface_ and _Buttering the Whisker Biscuit_ have visceral appeal where _Lady Fingers and Cream_ seems politely descriptive. ---
**Author:** ![Arcegetrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9d8465/32.png) [@Arcegetrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arcegetrix)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2001, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off/66852/14 "2001-05-30T00:43:31Z")
OK, I’m going to have to bookmark this one for later reference. An impossible question: Which is better, an alphabetical list of synonyms for the act, or a 9 paragraph speech by Mr. Twain on the subject? Probably the speech, but decisions decisions… ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2001, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off/66852/15 "2001-05-30T02:13:11Z")
Oops… I just noticed that this was in GQ, _NOT_ MPSIMS. My Twain post was probably off twack, given that. (geddit? “Twain”? “Twack”? “Twain twacks?” I made a funny, son!) Hmmmm…I know! \ Chronos! Jill! The reason I posted the Twain thing here in GQ is because of the last line, where Twain comments about “jerking”. Thus, I establish that the phrase “jerk” in reference to mastrubation has existed since at least 1869. \ ::Looks sincerely at Chronos:: ::Wonders "Are they buying this? :: :: Decides “They’re not!” Damn:: ::Remembers the bit about “…the better part of valor”:: All kidding aside, sorry about that. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![rebelyell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e9bcb4/32.png) [@rebelyell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rebelyell)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2001, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off/66852/16 "2001-05-30T15:55:30Z")
rebelyell, did you put that list together yourself? If not, then I’d be very interested in where you got it: That’s probably a copyright violation, there. If you got it from a web page somewhere, as seems likely, then you should just include a link to the webpage, rather than posting the entire list here. I’ve been scolded Chronos. The list of terms did come from another website, I posted the list complete for the impact it made. Those interested in reading more about the evils of masturbation are encouraged to visit. Here is the link again: [http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/Senate/2680/](http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/Senate/2680/) ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2001, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off/66852/17 "2001-05-30T17:43:17Z")
Was [this](http://www.well.com/user/earl/synonyms.html) the page you were thinking of, **rebelyell**? Anyway, I’ve removed the other two posts: Folks can get the lists from the other page. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2001, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off/66852/18 "2001-05-30T17:47:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chronos \* > [Moderator watch ON] Damn, first hats now watches. I’ve got to get me a job as a moderator. Sounds like you get a whole wardrobe. 🙂 (Or was that a Chronos/watch joke?) ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2001, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerking-off/66852/19 "2001-05-30T18:05:36Z")
**KneadToKnow** , just ask **Fenris** about it; he’ll [explain everything](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=55501). (fixed code - Jill) [Edited by JillGat on 05-30-2001 at 08:20 PM]