# Jerry Falwell in Critical Condition **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 30, 2005, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-in-critical-condition/296876 "2005-03-30T02:50:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2005, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-in-critical-condition/296876/81 "2005-03-31T12:07:13Z")
Is happy to go to heaven? ---
**Author:** ![lel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8797f3/32.png) [@lel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lel)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2005, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-in-critical-condition/296876/82 "2005-03-31T14:50:43Z")
We’re Christians until we’re about to die, then the human instinct kicks back in and wants to preserve life on this earth. What can I say? I’m not sure there’s much I can do to change that sentiment, lest I be labeled an uncaring rotten person. ---
**Author:** ![Hamish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a5b964/32.png) [@Hamish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamish)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2005, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-in-critical-condition/296876/83 "2005-03-31T17:51:37Z")
The man has wished slow, agonizing deaths on all people like me. He has anointed himself in the blood of victims of terrorism to make his petty little political points. He is vile, and I’m not going to shed crocodile tears for a man the world is better off without. I blame him and his kind for the fact that American queers were only liberated from sodomy laws by court fiat. I blame him and his kind for every American same-sex couple who are separated by deportation because they couldn’t marry. I blame him and his kind for creating the psychological atmosphere that encourages gaybashing. I’m saving my compassion for where it’s needed – for all those people who need a little and never get any because they’re not famous enough to be dying in a fancy hospital after a long life of disservice to the human race: I’m saving it for the homeless, for victims of HIV infection, and for anyone who’s been made a second-class citizen in their own country because they fall outside the walls of fundamentalism’s envisioned New Jerusalem. “To the living we owe our respect, to the dead we owe only the truth.” But Falwell’s given up the right for any respect from me. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2005, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-in-critical-condition/296876/84 "2005-03-31T20:52:12Z")
> [@rjung](#): > > Must… resist… urge for… _schadenfreude_… Why? Golly, everyone is just falling over themselves trying to be respectful of the dirtbag. Y’know what? He doesn’t give a shit what we think either way. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2005, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-in-critical-condition/296876/85 "2005-03-31T20:53:03Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > Today’s radio news said Falwell’s condition had been upgraded to stable. I am reminded of the old joke about the guy who asks his doctor if he’ll be able to play the violin when his cast comes off… ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2005, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-in-critical-condition/296876/86 "2005-03-31T21:01:59Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > > [@rjung](#): > > > > Must… resist… urge for… schadenfreude… > > Why? Because I’m sure he wouldn’t do the same for me, if the situation were reversed – _and I’m better than him._ ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2005, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-in-critical-condition/296876/87 "2005-03-31T21:29:11Z")
I bet I could skull-fuck his corpse and still have a goodness surplus by Falwell standards. Like I said, what we do or do not wish for his health is immaterial, and will make no difference. I personally can’t stand the guy, and am indifferent to his plight, if he is suffering. I’d like to think in a perfect world compassion would be unconditional, but folk’s like Jerry remind me on a daily basis this isn’t a perfect world. IMO, he’s earned nothing but scorn from free-thinkers, and the fewer Falwell’s in this world, the better. I certainly wouldn’t advocate actively seeking his untimely demise, but if the roulette wheel of mortality picks an unlucky number for Jerry, I’m not ashamed to say I won’t be losing any sleep over it. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2005, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-in-critical-condition/296876/88 "2005-03-31T22:29:06Z")
[Derby Announcer Voice] [And the Pope takes the lead in the race to Heaven!](http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/europe/03/31/pope1/index.html) It doesn’t look like Falwell stands much chance at this point, folks! [/DAV] ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2005, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-in-critical-condition/296876/89 "2005-03-31T22:59:04Z")
Whatasmatta you, **Tucker**? Pick up a rock, throw it at a crowd, and there’s an even chance, you being in Tennessee, that you’ll hit a Baptist who can explain some basic principles to you: Catholics don’t go to Heaven. Shit, next you’ll be trying to say Jesus was Jewish, or something! That said, I truly admire people who are generous and open-hearted enough not to snicker at the troubles of a major-league asshole. It is a virtue I can openly admire with no intention to emulate. Let us never forget the Gospel according to St. John of Liverpool: _Instant Karma gonna get you…_ ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-in-critical-condition/296876/90 "2005-04-01T01:23:27Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > That said, I truly admire people who are generous and open-hearted enough not to snicker at the troubles of a major-league asshole. \*\* It is a virtue I can openly admire with no intention to emulate\*\*. \ Bolding mine. God I love a well turned phrase. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-in-critical-condition/296876/91 "2005-04-01T02:04:08Z")
> [@lel](#): > > Falwell is first and foremost a human being. . . . Cite, please. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-in-critical-condition/296876/92 "2005-04-01T02:21:20Z")
> [@lel](#): > > Falwell is first and foremost a human being. . . . And while we are on the subject, anyone care to guess who gave us “If you’re not a born-again Christian, you’re a failure as a human being.” ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-in-critical-condition/296876/93 "2005-04-01T02:33:56Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > If God is so Almighty, can He make a burrito so big that even He can’t digest it? Contemplate the topic of the OP, and you have your answer! :rolleyes: Other than that, what **lel** said. I don’t have to lower myself to his level to stand in opposition to what he’s stood for over the years, and I won’t. You might notice my one previous post to this thread was to hope that Mel and Gary go visit him while he’s sick. ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-in-critical-condition/296876/94 "2005-04-01T03:11:27Z")
Ignoring the fact that he’s a hypocritical sanctimonious jerk, that he supports murderous dictators, that he has no qualms about exploiting any awful situation to his political advantage, that he regularly mocks and trivializes the death of innocent people, and that is entire life was organized around no goal other than making himself wealthy and powerful, there’s still the unfortunate fact that for over two decades he lead the campaign against using birth control to stop the AIDS epidemic, thus causing millions of deaths, and the consequences of his actions will continue to ruin entire nations and condemn tens of millions of people to ghastly suffering for generations to come. He is a serious candidate in the contest to be the worst human being in all of history. Right now I imagine that he’s hoping there’s no afterlife. ---
**Author:** ![Scoundrel\_Swanswater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@Scoundrel\_Swanswater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scoundrel_Swanswater)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-in-critical-condition/296876/95 "2005-04-01T10:51:03Z")
> [@lel](#): > > Falwell is first and foremost a human being… > > I’m not defending many of Falwell’s words, but he’s human too. Cite? ---
**Author:** ![Weaver\_of\_Nightmares](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/73ab20/32.png) [@Weaver\_of\_Nightmares](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weaver_of_Nightmares)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-in-critical-condition/296876/96 "2005-04-01T12:15:37Z")
> [@ITR champion](#): > > Right now I imagine that he’s hoping there’s no afterlife. Why would he do that? According to him, he’s been doing God’s will, and he will get his rewards for that in the afterlife. I’m not american, and I don’t know half of what he spouted, apart from what I read on the web. What I have read, I don’t agree with, at all, and I’m certainly not defending this poor excuse for a human being. Just that in his mind, he was doing the Lord’s work. Much as it clashes with how I view the Bible and what it has to say. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-in-critical-condition/296876/97 "2005-04-01T17:41:34Z")
He most certainly was not doing the Lord’s work. He was lining his own pockets, living in luxury, creating lies, and fomenting hate. ---
**Author:** ![Weaver\_of\_Nightmares](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/73ab20/32.png) [@Weaver\_of\_Nightmares](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weaver_of_Nightmares)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-in-critical-condition/296876/98 "2005-04-01T17:56:12Z")
I agree. Just saying that he most likely thinks that he is doing the Lord’s work. Either that, or he is using the faith as a cover-up, and he knows full well that he’s being a hateful bastard. Who, unfortunately, seems to have a large following. I despair of people some times. ---
**Author:** ![lel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8797f3/32.png) [@lel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lel)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2005, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-in-critical-condition/296876/99 "2005-04-02T05:50:02Z")
Can someone explain to me how the heck I cite that Falwell is human? Did we miss the part where I said I disagree with a whole lot of what he says? Just because I disagree doesn’t mean I find him inhuman. Lots of people to pray for lately in terms of health. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Scoundrel\_Swanswater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@Scoundrel\_Swanswater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scoundrel_Swanswater)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2005, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-in-critical-condition/296876/100 "2005-04-02T09:14:21Z")
I’d save my prayers for people who would more or less deserve it. Sick puppies, kittens and babies. Not for this monster of a person. (I know, I know, forgive your enemy, yadayadayada). The best I can do for him is hope he brings his marshmallows. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-in-critical-condition/296876.md?page=4)