# Jerry Falwell near death! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 15, 2007, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-near-death/404198 "2007-05-15T16:54:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-near-death/404198/1 "2007-05-15T16:54:52Z")
I know we aren’t supposed to wish death on anyone, so I won’t. I’ll just not shed any tears if this bigoted old bastard croaks. ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-near-death/404198/2 "2007-05-15T16:57:03Z")
[QUOTE=CynicalGabe] I know we aren’t supposed to wish death on anyone, so I won’t. I’ll just not shed any tears if this bigoted old bastard croaks. [/QUOTE] Falwell is a member? Please say he isn’t a charter member! ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-near-death/404198/3 "2007-05-15T17:04:24Z")
[QUOTE=kidchameleon] Falwell is a member? Please say he isn’t a charter member! [/QUOTE] Worse. He’s an admin. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-near-death/404198/4 "2007-05-15T17:07:40Z")
[QUOTE=kidchameleon] Falwell is a member? [/QUOTE] He’s a prick, if that’s what you mean. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-near-death/404198/5 "2007-05-15T17:09:23Z")
Maybe there _is_ a God, after all! ---
**Author:** ![Subterraneanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Subterraneanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Subterraneanus)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-near-death/404198/6 "2007-05-15T17:12:02Z")
> [@](#): > > Jerry Falwell near death! Yeah, like a close cousin. ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-near-death/404198/7 "2007-05-15T17:12:52Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] Maybe there _is_ a God, after all! [/QUOTE] What makes you think God wants him? ---
**Author:** ![Stringer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Stringer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stringer)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-near-death/404198/8 "2007-05-15T17:13:00Z")
The end-times are nigh! [QUOTE=CynicalGabe] I know we aren’t supposed to wish death on anyone, so I won’t. [/QUOTE] He’s not a poster, you can wish all sorts of horrible deaths on him. ---
**Author:** ![marshmallow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@marshmallow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marshmallow)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-near-death/404198/9 "2007-05-15T17:13:35Z")
You guys are mean. How can you mock one of God’s servants? Surely a small meteoroid will land on each of your houses. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-near-death/404198/10 "2007-05-15T17:14:15Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] Maybe there _is_ a God, after all! [/QUOTE] If its the same Big Guy I learned about in Sunday School, Mr. Falwell is in for a nasty surprise. “Whats that smell? Is it sulphur? Man, is it ever hot here in Heaven!..” ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-near-death/404198/11 "2007-05-15T17:14:57Z")
[CNN story](http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/05/15/jerry.falwell.ap/index.html). > [@](#): > > Ron Godwin, the executive vice president of Falwell’s Liberty University, said Falwell was found unresponsive around 10:45 a.m. and taken to Lynchburg General Hospital. Godwin said he was not sure what caused the collapse, but “he has a history of heart challenges.” Yeah, like not having one. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-near-death/404198/12 "2007-05-15T17:15:23Z")
Sweet! ---
**Author:** ![zagloba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/977dab/32.png) [@zagloba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zagloba)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-near-death/404198/13 "2007-05-15T17:20:34Z")
Did you know he lost his virginity to his mother in an outhouse? Oddly enough, I just watched _The People vs Larry Flynt_ last night. That guy that played Falwell could not possibly have done a better job of personifying the smarmy git. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-near-death/404198/14 "2007-05-15T17:20:48Z")
Jerry Falwell Better start shakin’ Today’s pig Tomorrow’s bacon! - Burma Shave ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-near-death/404198/15 "2007-05-15T17:22:40Z")
One thinks he will fall well. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-near-death/404198/16 "2007-05-15T17:23:48Z")
You really can’t read inside a man’s heart and know how much of what he stands for is sincere or how much is devoted to enticing donations. Maybe he sincerely loves Jesus and everything he does is what he thinks Jesus would have him do. Maybe he’s a charlatan and discovered a great way to get filthy rich. I’ll never know, though I suspect the latter, so I’m not going to wish him ill. It would be nice if this somehow crippled the Moral Majority or whatever they call themselves now but somehow I think as long as there are sheep there will be those that fleece them and someone else will carry his banner. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-near-death/404198/17 "2007-05-15T17:26:18Z")
[QUOTE=RTFirefly] [CNN story](http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/05/15/jerry.falwell.ap/index.html). Yeah, like not having one. :rolleyes: [/QUOTE] [Don’t tell that to his mother!](http://www.answers.com/topic/falwellhustler-jpg)😃 ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-near-death/404198/18 "2007-05-15T17:28:12Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator] If its the same Big Guy I learned about in Sunday School, Mr. Falwell is in for a nasty surprise. “Whats that smell? Is it sulphur? Man, is it ever hot here in Heaven!..” [/QUOTE] What makes you think _he_ will want him either? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-near-death/404198/19 "2007-05-15T17:33:43Z")
[QUOTE=rayh] What makes you think _he_ will want him either? [/QUOTE] So he is doomed to roam the underworld carrying a glowing coal in a hollowed-out turnip? Great, Fallowe’en. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-near-death/404198/20 "2007-05-15T17:34:49Z")
I’m with **BobLibDem** in my reluctance to gloat. I’m satisfied enough that, whenever Falwell does die, every mainstream obituary will note his assertion that 9/11 was God’s punishment for America’s tolerance of homosexuality. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jerry-falwell-near-death/404198.md?page=2)